My Story... (LONG)... Input helpful and I am happy to discuss.

[Boys don't cry]

Remember you wrote:

I have a 100% clear and guilt free mind. I know the law stops at nothing to gain their statistical convictions but I am at a point where I don't actually care. I'm not guilty and everyone that is close enough to care knows that I am not guilty so I really couldn't give a toss what a soulless state and their little robots want to do, I may be affected by it for a period but it is not going to destroy my life. Lies have already done enough damage to me and I will not give them the pleasure of inflicting any more.

I have been through it Lawlessone,so can you.
You don't have the choice,you must be NOT guilty
For your family and for all of us.

Take care.

[Saffron]

It's good to have you back, L1.
Sometimes we all need a bit of time out from the forum - do whatever works for you!

[RFLH]

good way of looking at it Lawless - it will make you stronger.

Illegitimi non carborundum

[whatsgoingon?]

Hang on in there L1 - I've found your replies very helpful at times. Doesn't it just jumble up the neurones though? Innocent until proven guilty, but made to feel you've already been convicted in your head.... who wouldn't be unsettled by that?
Keep well (and your nose out of rivers) .

[Izzy]

Hi L1, think you need to remember that in your posts you are trying to help others, while you are going through it yourself and thats a good thing. Screaming from the top of a mountain is highly therapeutic, I can recommend it

Maybe it would be a good idea to touch base with your Solicitor since you haven't spoken to him in the last couple of months?

Try and stay positive, I know it's hard

[lawlessone2009]

Thanks guys/girls/ladies/gentlemen...

I do appreciate the words of wisdom and also the soothing support.

I am in chaos just now and I'm, strangely, loving it. I have work coming out my ears and barely a moment to think. The moments, when they come though, are absolutely terrible! I know I am burning myself out but I need to until the next step in this long process presents itself. Life in general has been excellent and the changes I have undergone since the allegation are astronomical. I can communicate with people now, deal with awkward situations more readily, attempt to see things from many angles rather than just one, appreciate what I have got rather than desiring what I've not (possessions not people!). The list goes on and on, it's not that I didn't do these things before but more that I can more easily understand them and implement things now...

[sam]

you always help others with full detail and a heart and this one is for your support
stay strong

[lawlessone2009]

Counting down the days until the 22nd of November...

My head is wasted. I'm on edge. My heart is jumping all over the place. I don't think there is one piece of my body that is not exhausted and sore.

I really do wish I had done something, ANYTHING, to deserve the hell the past 11 months have been!

Thankfully I am in Scotland and there are time limits. I really am not sure what I would do in England!!!

[Casehardened]

What an agonising deadline to be under; I suppose you have to wait until midnight on the 22nd to be absolutely sure you have reached the time limit.

I guess you have re-calculated the date several times to be sure? Just that I'm thinking that if I were working in the PF's department I would have got the paperwork in with a week or so to spare just in case of any hiccups, so my instincts tell me your case is not going ahead.

(Izzy mentioned elsewhere that there is no need for the PF to notify the accused that their case is not going ahead)

[RFLH]

hang in there Lawless, try to take some time for yourself and most importantly - be kind to yourself.

[lawlessone2009]

What an agonising deadline to be under; I suppose you have to wait until midnight on the 22nd to be absolutely sure you have reached the time limit.

I guess you have re-calculated the date several times to be sure? Just that I'm thinking that if I were working in the PF's department I would have got the paperwork in with a week or so to spare just in case of any hiccups, so my instincts tell me your case is not going ahead.

(Izzy mentioned elsewhere that there is no need for the PF to notify the accused that their case is not going ahead)

I'm counting the minutes of the hours of the days of the weeks..........

It appears that there is no need for anyone to notify me of anything at all... What a corrupt and useless system this country has. Speculation and guess work from start to finish and screw the person that's at the hands of it...

[erin]

lawlessone2009 i just read your story pretty sad it took me like 1 hour to read everything pretty sad how scary things are pretty sad

[erin]

when did they arrest you 2009?

[Izzy]

I'm counting the minutes of the hours of the days of the weeks..........

It appears that there is no need for anyone to notify me of anything at all... What a corrupt and useless system this country has. Speculation and guess work from start to finish and screw the person that's at the hands of it...

It is indeed I was gobsmacked when I found out that.
All you can do is wait, horrible I know and easier said than done but my advise would be to make no enquiries at this point of what is
going to happen with your case.

Take care

[lawlessone2009]

when did they arrest you 2009?

The allegation is alleged to have happened in the early hours of Sunday 13th of November 2011. I don't think I voluntarily attended the Police station until Tuesday 15th of November 2011 where I was arrested (due to attempting to leave Police station.... ), interviewed and subsequently charged. I was held in custody over night with a trip to another Police station for a VIPER (video identity parade thing) at this point I met my solicitor, that my mum had found, for the first time. He advised not to answer any further questions but had not had time to find out what I had answered. The Police, upon returning to the station, decided to carry out a further interview to which I stated, as advised, that I had been advised not to answer any further questions.

I was taken to the holding cells at the court in the morning. I was held in a holding cell, on my own, until the courts afternoon session. At this point I was taken from the holding cell and instead of being led into court I was taken back to Police custody! I was released on a Police undertaking (basically bail) for the period of 7 days...

I was back in court on the 22nd of November 2011 (7 days later or 6???). There was a lot of confusion, lack of paperwork, lack of direction and another long wait whilst my solicitor and everyone else tried to find out what was happening. It was believed that the complaint wasn't going to make it into court, again (after the previous week!). After a very very long wait, bearing in mind that my Undertaking had expired so I technically could not leave the court as I was somehow now in their custody, a decision to present the case was made and I sat in a closed court around court closing time.

I was then granted bail with conditions.

Obviously being in Scotland they've got one year to begin proceedings. That time is ticking away, slowly, and I am getting more and more... I don't know how to put it... ILL? After all the ups and downs over that short week followed by snippets of info here and there and my expectation of them dropping it or the accuser admitting to lying I am left in a non-directional mess.

I was suffering stress and anxiety before the allegation and was beginning to deal with it but by hell what I was suffering is NOTHING compared to the living hell the last year has been. My heart is burning a hole in my chest and I swear it stops beating sometimes, I feel as if I'm not breathing enough, I ache and my mind is scrambled beyond belief, my brain actually hurts when I need to think. Sleep might help but it's impossible until I physically and mentally exhaust myself. I just cannot believe the twisted and sick minds that people have! My mind is beyond trying to understand anything about the situation or trying to formulate and sense about it but my mind just won't stop working, it jumps all over the place and questions itself and its wisdom regularly with concentration being a hard thing to come by...