So worried

[billykickass]

Well i made the local paper again today. Im past the point of really caring about that, i just think the fact that i confirmed my name and said 'not guilty' is hardly news is it! Lets see if they print the full story after its all said and done! Im not really that bothered just a little peeved i guess. Not gonna let it knock down the positivety i have at the moment. A weekend of boat fishing and bbq's with the boys is coming up so there is always a reason to smile.

[Rights Fighter]

All three sentences of it hon. Tomorrows chip paper or loo roll........

[billykickass]

Thanks RF. in far more important news i spoke to ther half this morn and i think the break is doing her the world of good, she was tired and hungover all the signs of a good time. Will be glad to have her back even just for the short few hours ill get too see her before im off on excercise but you gotta work i guess.

[RFLH]

I can't find her drawing called Yesterday's News ..... so with thanks to Margaret Clarkson

[Rights Fighter]

Thanks RF. in far more important news i spoke to ther half this morn and i think the break is doing her the world of good, she was tired and hungover all the signs of a good time. Will be glad to have her back even just for the short few hours ill get too see her before im off on excercise but you gotta work i guess.

Good stuff Billy. I've not heard from her for a while so hopefully she is coping better than she was

[Boys don't cry]

Nice prints RFLH
Billy I was as well in the local newspapers,I even did the front page
When I saw the title,I thought "Strange,it reminds me something"
Then I started to read and bloodyhell...
The week after I was degrading to page 7.
When I was found not guilty,I was not even in it
Someone had a go at them and the 4th week I was in the second page but you had to really look for it.
Unfortunately fame is ephemere.
I am even on the web,I just type my name and

When you will be found"NOT GUILTY",please invite me for the boat fishing and bbq:that's all I need
Don't worry about these newspapers,when you are not guilty you really know that they just want to attract people interest but the week after it will be someone else.
Just keep faith,keep strong,always believe in yourself and your solicitor,barrister.
Enjoy life (try to) and you'll be fine.

[billykickass]

Hey thanks all you guys.
Well today was amazing we went on the boat it was horrendously windy and then it rained, we caught nothing but drank loads of beer and had an amazing time. This eve we went out for a meal and loads of drinks for my bros birthday which was great, and for the first time in nearly a year i meandered through town for a few more beers with my bro (which due to him being in the marines is a rarity) then on the way to taxi who do we see crying down the phone in an alleyway then more or less following our path (as my bro calls her 'the epicentre of ****' ) i think we may of made eye contact but i doubt she even recognised me! I have never thought that there was any reason to raise your hand to a woman and i dont believe i could to her either, but if someone was i dont know if i would try to stop them. Anyway today was another win im at home now chilling and prepping for another day of pimms and badly cooked meat (i reckon liz 2nd would approve) and i had two conversations with my amazing girlfriend across the atlantic who is rocking it at a wedding.

Sorry if this didnt make too much sense im still pretty drunk.

RF: some rubbish dr gave her some rubbish questionnaire that had questions like: how are you feeling today on a scale of 1 to suicidial! Because thats what she needed to be fobbed off! Bloody criminal. She needed me to tell her i love her dearly and spend some time on her and give her cuddles and to be big spoon. Which is so simple but you sometimes just forget. I think it will be ok now even if she doesnt end up with me, she is one of lifes greats and i hope she ends up happy.

[Faith]

Good stuff Billy, glad you've had a good night!

Keep reassuring your other half!! I spoke to her briefly this evening.

Keep up the positivity...nice bit of poetic justice that the epicentre of **** was having a **** night while you had a good one. Like it!

[billykickass]

Thanks faith. You got to speak to her this eve!! Now im jealous, just Joking.
Yeah i been a terrible BF recently but she genuinly is my other half i dont know if until now i realised that!

Hey the hell slag may have been crying tears of joy but... She is still a fat howling piece of kit (squaddie slang) that has the weight of lies on her shoulders!

Im a cheating scum bag but at least i havent perverted the course of justice or spat in the face of any rape victims.... EVER!

[Boys don't cry]

SSSSSSSSSooooooooo please you enjoy yourself.
It will give you strength and energy believe me

[Faith]

This whole process is a rollercoaster ride but one thing it's good for can be to show us who is truly important in our lives. Make sure you tell her what you said here though!

Keep it up Billy, you're doing great.

[wunderland]

Hey billy,
I don't know if your feeling the same but i go through OK days and most other days I can i promise you get out of bed
i put on 20 kilos and if im lucky ill at least walk the dog about every second day I have basiclly cut of all my friends
DONT DRINK,DONT SMOKE,DON'T DO DRUGS besides anti-depressants,DON'T GAMBLE,
In the past 700 days i tried to be with woman I even went on 3 dates with one and started to have a panic attack when she was laughing at the movies and kept on putting her hand on my hand at the movies I have ignored her away and she was perfect but I am just not ready to be a man since I HAVE BEEN HUNG TO THE CROSS by my own 2 tennis balls I have lost the will to do basiclly anything lol
now I think i am on the scale of 1 to 10 1 being somone who is accused of rape and goes on living a normal life to 10 going absolutely insane .I would be at 8 out of 10 after 700 days of a constant nightmare horror show i have basiclly gone mad
I think it is temporary but i have gone mad all im trying to say is it is totally normal to flip out a couple of times during being cooked alive then whilst your being fried like you fry an egg and it's killing you the pain your also whilst suffering YOUR double suffering with thinking about whats the next part of hell your going to it's totally normal to flip out for a while

[RFLH]

have you been to see anyone about your mental health problems? I'm sure you would be able to cope a bit better if you did.

There's no shame in asking for help.

[wunderland]

Well RFLH,
I have been through over 90% of the process and it's made me crazy I think i will make it past the trial and will be ****ing happy it's all over Yes i saw a shrink 3 weeks ago she told me it's ok and it would be scary if anyone in my situation was normal ...............thanks for caring rflh

[wunderland]

jeez my own post scared me yeah only like 8 more weeks 90% done then my trial starts thank the lord I wish it was tommorow