Helping my 14 year deal with a false accusation of rape

[DeamonsRun]

RE- help with your case... I am sad to say i have been a victim of a false accussation of Rape.

I am Sad to say that over 70% of Rape accusations every year are false.
I have been a victim of such an accusation which still follows me today 10 years after I was found innocent.
I can honestly recommend this and that is when your son is found innocent, take the ***** to court for slander and false statement.
Also get your Son therapy ASAP....
I now suffer from mild Bipolar disorder because of what happened and even with all my family and friends supporting me at the time I felt so alone and Isolated that I nearly committed suicide.
Please tell your son that he is not alone and that if he holds strong and steadfast that he will overcome this and be a stronger man.
I would also like your help in a petition to Government to change the Law, that if a girl/women is found to be Lieing about being Raped that She will subject to the same sentence as if a man was found guilty of the crime.

[can it get worse]

Hi LLO,

You were not ranting one bit - your points were all valid and your opinions are important. WGO's opinions are equivalently important.

Re: 'having a bad day' - we all have our fair share of those. Mine are every day and the constant agony of worry is endless and tiring.

False accusers (& their supporters) have much to answer for - hopefully their time will come.

[lawlessone2009]

Good post L1! Sorry to hear you're situation is still so bad. However, I disagree with you about the potential damage to TM's son, at 15 you are both vulnerable and resilient. I hope time won't prove me wrong but TM's boy will probably get over this very quickly once it's over and will have learnt from his mother one very important lesson - that injustice is intolerable and has to be fought on all fronts. Sadly, daftgirl probably will never mend her ways unless a life-changing event comes her way.

Hi Tigermum (how aptly named!) I've been away and just read your ordeal. I think the support you are showing your son is amazing - the fact you are obviously behind him and have got him an ace solicitor reduces the chances of the CPS getting a prosecution. This might seem twisted, but this is how I saw it work in my own son's case (in reverse, first of all). His case did go to court where he was found not guilty after a pretty farcical trial. I'm glad to say that he's now thriving, though I'm sure the scars will remain for a while yet, and there's been irrepairable damage done in our attitude to the police - it certainly opened our eyes.
Getting an excellent solicitor was the best thing you could have done - it's such a shame it's costing you and the State so much. Not sure what it's all in aid of It sounds like the teachers at his school have got their heads srewed on and that he's got support all round.

I hope everything comes right for you very quickly.

Hey, I was ranting...

I am not going to question for one second your view or wisdom. Spot on.

Mentioning the fact it's a good solicitor and also the lengths that were gone too to get them there/for them to be there. Yeah, it'll show em you mean business so they may be less inclined to be idiotic and a little more inclined to investigate.

I'll try not and rant again. Not a good day today.

[whatsgoingon?]

Good post L1! Sorry to hear you're situation is still so bad. However, I disagree with you about the potential damage to TM's son, at 15 you are both vulnerable and resilient. I hope time won't prove me wrong but TM's boy will probably get over this very quickly once it's over and will have learnt from his mother one very important lesson - that injustice is intolerable and has to be fought on all fronts. Sadly, daftgirl probably will never mend her ways unless a life-changing event comes her way.

Hi Tigermum (how aptly named!) I've been away and just read your ordeal. I think the support you are showing your son is amazing - the fact you are obviously behind him and have got him an ace solicitor reduces the chances of the CPS getting a prosecution. This might seem twisted, but this is how I saw it work in my own son's case (in reverse, first of all). His case did go to court where he was found not guilty after a pretty farcical trial. I'm glad to say that he's now thriving, though I'm sure the scars will remain for a while yet, and there's been irrepairable damage done in our attitude to the police - it certainly opened our eyes.
Getting an excellent solicitor was the best thing you could have done - it's such a shame it's costing you and the State so much. Not sure what it's all in aid of It sounds like the teachers at his school have got their heads srewed on and that he's got support all round.

I hope everything comes right for you very quickly.

[lawlessone2009]

Fantastic posts TM and LLO,

I feel exactly the same as you TM and your attitude is to be admired greatly. As a mum, we would fight with all our might to maintain their well being and protect them.

LLO - you are splendid at getting your point across. I could go on but do not possess your skills and would only be repeating what you have already said.

I generally miss getting points across.....

Thank you for letting me know I semi-succeeded this time. I don't really have any 'skills' unless opening a tin of beans qualifies me as skilled. Any skills that I may have are absolutely useless at the moment as I cannot use them to get a job. I cannot get a job. Everything that was being perpetrated against me by the Police and COPFS was brought to an end on August 2nd 2013 but I still cannot get a job. The thing is, I'm STILL on bail. Got no idea why and have been assured by my solicitor that I am not but I AM. Had it confirmed once again on the 14th of January 2014. If I was to apply for a job and correctly fill out the form a simple check would show that I am still subject to bail and most likely criminal investigation. Hell, the system probably states I am currently locked up in Barlinnie or something.

I really have nothing else to do but spend my days processing thought and arguing with myself. That's probably why it seems that I talk some sense now and again. Everyone else has a life and potentially a job to distract them...

Fortunately I have seen some good parts of life. I've had a few relationships be them long or short, I've had jobs, I've been positive, I've had fun and soooooo much more. For me to have found myself where I did when I did wasn't too much of a great big deal as I had seen so much to begin with.

What I find extremely saddening is that 'Tiger Mums' son is 14, he's seen so little, he's probably still (or at least WAS) enjoying his transition towards being a young man and earning a buck or two. Purely through circumstance he (and his mum/family) are now facing a 'tangent' in their time line. Things will never be what they should have been. It appears that this is through nothing other than a vicious and lying girl, a FOURTEEN year old girl.

I can take this purely looking at their circumstances and what they are facing. I can relate directly to it and I am saddened greatly by it.

I am also able to take a step back from this and attempt to look at the wider picture. I ask myself:

What in hell is society breeding? What does the future hold?



We can all look back in time and see the various different attitudes that existed towards sex. We can all see how both sides went about sexual encounters. We can also see, and probably remember, that sexual encounters weren't/aren't quite what the fancy adverts on the TV/in the media say. Where I am really struggling now is what the future holds.

The word rape is being banded around as if it's just simply a word. A word that can be used when you're pissed off, when you don't like someone or when someone doesn't quite give you what you expect. It seems to be a route to riches, a route to attention and a route to justify why you aren't the out and out superstar that you were guaranteed to be if only 'that' hadn't happened. Rape is being devalued as it's being over used to describe all sorts of different things and also being used as a 'catch all' for otherwise 'slightly not nice' treatment.

Rape is a bloody serious offence and should be treated with the utmost attention to detail and thorough investigation that it deserves. Instead it is being poorly and one-sided-ly investigated, shambolically prosecuted and dragged out the stables every time someone wants a promotion or re-election. People who are genuinely raped must, themselves, be sickened by what is happening. Genuine rapists are no doubt slipping through the net because resources and finances are being needlessly wasted on the persecution of innocent individuals. It is not only the individuals who are suffering it's their friends and family. The net is widening with every false accusation until at some point rape will no doubt simply be treated as a fixed penalty offence the same as speeding.

Nobody will trust anyone and everyone will be tired of hearing about it. At that point the vicious and sick minded rapists will almost be able to blend in with the rest of normal society as we will no longer be able to tell who's a victim of false allegation and who is a genuine perpetrator. We'll not be able to trust anything the Government or Police will be saying as according to them and their databases we'll all be rapists.


Jeez. I'm ranting.

Sorry.

[tiger mum]

Thanks for the vote of support! Dr Abbas Khan's mum inspired me. When my son's ordeal started she had just found her son, when I heard he had been murdered by the Syrian authorities the day before she was due to bring him home I broke down for the first time since this all happened. That wonderful brave lady used all her skills, wisdom and courage to go out to Syria alone and track down her missing son, she knew as "just his mum" they were more likely to respond to her and she was less likely to cause a political storm. Just a mum - she found him! Starving and beaten but alive. The *******s had to kill him rather than show the world what they had done - she didn't break until the fight was ended by his murder. Go girl - RIP Dr Khan. What worries me is Syria or here, people abuse their power, systems don't work and justice isn't always done.

[can it get worse]

Fantastic posts TM and LLO,

I feel exactly the same as you TM and your attitude is to be admired greatly. As a mum, we would fight with all our might to maintain their well being and protect them.

LLO - you are splendid at getting your point across. I could go on but do not possess your skills and would only be repeating what you have already said.

[Casehardened]

The police have been set targets by the MoJ/Government to increase rape convictions (the reasons for this are murky & unedifying and beyond the scope of this post)

To get an inside view of what a real policeman thinks about it all it might be useful to read 'Inspector Gadgets' (a serving police officer) thoughts on the subject.

Interestingly this actual post in his blog was pulled almost immediately he put it online and even more annoyingly his long-running blog has now been taken down completely. Of course Inspector Gadget was a pseudonym but a generic threat of dismissal for any serving police officers writing in such a way was made and he took the sensible option.

However thanks to the internet his words are preserved elsewhere:

(2nd article down)

http://www.angryharry.com/esOneThird...pists.htm?note

[lawlessone2009]

Hi - good - lets hope its No Crime then - for my son that is. I've been doing some research, it seems that to get the police to jump into action all the girl has to do is make an accusation, however to get the police to take a false accusation seriously there are millions of hoops to jump through. We covered the "accepting a caution" possibility with my son's solicitor at the police station - as he cannot remember all the events of the night due to it being his first experience of spirits, he has NEVER said he can remember sex and certainly cannot remember a rape occurring. As he answered no comment to police questions it is unlikely that the police will go for a caution as he hasn't admitted to anything. The solicitor discussed the situation with the police at length and he felt that it would go to trial as they were so determined to progress. This was the police's approach despite knowing both their ages (14) , the fact the girl had drunk/taken drugs, had sexual encounters all weekend with boys her age and older boys - both before and after the alleged rape occurred. (both later that night AND after she had sobered up, got drunk again and did it all again). This was information THE GIRL and the girl's FRIENDS had told the police. They hadn't spoken to my son or his friends at this point. Knowing all this, they tried to arrest him giving me 2 hours notice to get a specialist solicitor. It stinks, I think a lot of people on this site are so relieved to get "No Further Action" they may lose focus on the injustice of it all. The ONLY result I'll be satisfied with is No Crime + Caution for daft girl for wasting police time/perverting justice + apology from police. Until that happens I'm not going to stop fighting. I just need to know how to achieve this without further damage to my son - to be fair though he wants the same. Before this all happened he fancied being a police lawyer - needless to say he now has no such ambition. If they just drop this what has he learnt? - police are liars, girls are scary, attending a party can result in this, don't bother with school as at the word of a crazy loony it can all go to ****. What has she learnt - say what you want as the police will believe you, however many lies you tell adults will hear the one which suits their purpose, claiming rape is a good way to deflect criticism about your slutty/drug taking behaviour, when you've ruined a lad's reputation it doesn't matter as you are famous! Bonkers.

Famous for the wrong reasons... I'd imagine quite a few people will avoid her now.

As for the way you've ask your questions and gotten your answers. Well done. I know that receiving most of the answers will only have pissed you off even more.

Your determination to pursue things is to be commended. I'm pursuing both the Police and COPFS (Scottish equivalent) and won't stop until they are made to answer for the complete mess they made of what they attempted to do against me. It seems that more and more people are doing the same and over time this will most likely result in a 'balancing' of things and more consideration being taken by the Police/prosecution. If the current 'celebrity' cases don't work out in the Crowns favour then there's going to be a massive backlash with some public figures massively accelerating the 'balancing'.

If the case against your boy was going to end up in a courtroom, then, even if he was guilty (take this as a fiction for want of expanding this process of thinking please) then imagine how the prosecution are going to prosecute it, how easily the defence are going to defend it and then the 'image' that the jury are going to have stuck in their minds when deciding a verdict. The actions and admittals by his accuser have more or less solidified a Not Guilty verdict.

Taking it from the point of view which exists in the case of your son. He is innocent and facing what has been described in the previous paragraph. I see little probability that ANY prosecutor would want to take the case on and into a courtroom. There are still a few avenues that they could go down but it would be an extremely hard case for them to even attempt to bring into the realms of a courtroom never mind securing a guilty verdict.

The prosecution, at least, need to have a realistic chance of securing a conviction. I don't see much chance, I'm sure you don't either. We live in the real world though which doesn't qualify us enough to have the mind of a CPS prosecutor......

I genuinely would keep gathering info and bide your time. Keep an eye on your boys health as well as your own, it's easy to slip of a cliff face without even knowing.

As for sexual stuff. Even being completely out the game I am sure he'd have been aware of the kind of stickyness kind of sex smell type lingering stuff. Sorry to be gross but you do kind of know even if you don't.

Maybe the girl tried desperately to catch your son because she fancies him. When he rejected her she went on a rampage of sex and drugs to prove to herself she was attractive to men and capable of keeping them happy. In the cold light of day everything hit home, she knew she now had no chance of catching your boy and then her mind decided he was to blame for it all and so she went after him using the law in order to show him how much he'd hurt her.

Unfortunately it doesn't take too many braincells to be a Police Officer so she's succeeded.....


As for your boy wanting to be involved with the Police job wise. Maybe this incident will show him that he should work 'against' the Police and become a defence solicitor? They obviously don't work 'against' the Police but hopefully you get what I'm attempting to say...

This incident will have life changing effects on your boy as you have indicated. MAJOR life changing effects. He's young enough to put them to positive use. If I had my time again I wouldn't have went anywhere near engineering and instead would've gotten myself into some form of job that attempts to balance the power of the state and all its servants. Defence solicitor, non-mainstream politician, freedom fighter......

[tiger mum]

Hi - good - lets hope its No Crime then - for my son that is. I've been doing some research, it seems that to get the police to jump into action all the girl has to do is make an accusation, however to get the police to take a false accusation seriously there are millions of hoops to jump through. We covered the "accepting a caution" possibility with my son's solicitor at the police station - as he cannot remember all the events of the night due to it being his first experience of spirits, he has NEVER said he can remember sex and certainly cannot remember a rape occurring. As he answered no comment to police questions it is unlikely that the police will go for a caution as he hasn't admitted to anything. The solicitor discussed the situation with the police at length and he felt that it would go to trial as they were so determined to progress. This was the police's approach despite knowing both their ages (14) , the fact the girl had drunk/taken drugs, had sexual encounters all weekend with boys her age and older boys - both before and after the alleged rape occurred. (both later that night AND after she had sobered up, got drunk again and did it all again). This was information THE GIRL and the girl's FRIENDS had told the police. They hadn't spoken to my son or his friends at this point. Knowing all this, they tried to arrest him giving me 2 hours notice to get a specialist solicitor. It stinks, I think a lot of people on this site are so relieved to get "No Further Action" they may lose focus on the injustice of it all. The ONLY result I'll be satisfied with is No Crime + Caution for daft girl for wasting police time/perverting justice + apology from police. Until that happens I'm not going to stop fighting. I just need to know how to achieve this without further damage to my son - to be fair though he wants the same. Before this all happened he fancied being a police lawyer - needless to say he now has no such ambition. If they just drop this what has he learnt? - police are liars, girls are scary, attending a party can result in this, don't bother with school as at the word of a crazy loony it can all go to ****. What has she learnt - say what you want as the police will believe you, however many lies you tell adults will hear the one which suits their purpose, claiming rape is a good way to deflect criticism about your slutty/drug taking behaviour, when you've ruined a lad's reputation it doesn't matter as you are famous! Bonkers.

[lawlessone2009]

Thanks for the advice - I will be patient but I won't let this rest. What are the outcomes the police can give us? I did pay for the solicitor - as is normal they need paying upfront - but it was worth every penny and he didn't rip us off. Even made allowance for the fact he worked on another case on the train journey.

Sounds like a VERY good solicitor.

Police can investigate. I am sure that the CPS are the ones that indicate the intentions:

No Crime
No Further Action
Re-bail - Further investigation to be done.
Charge and Trial


There could well be others. Don't take my word for gospel, I'm in Scotland which is slightly different.

It's not unheard off to end up suing the CPS/Police but they'd need to make some pretty horrific mistakes in the investigating/charging/trial etc. Your solicitor would advise on possibilities at the time if this was a possibility. At the moment you can't really do anything but be a comforting shoulder for your boy and attempting to suss out the entire situation. A lot of analysis and guess work I'm afraid. Unless there is a charge and then information will eventually appear.

One bit of advice. Ensure that your boy doesn't accept any form of 'offer' from the Police. Like a written caution etc in place of prosecution.

[tiger mum]

Thanks for the advice - I will be patient but I won't let this rest. What are the outcomes the police can give us? I did pay for the solicitor - as is normal they need paying upfront - but it was worth every penny and he didn't rip us off. Even made allowance for the fact he worked on another case on the train journey.

[lawlessone2009]

Thanks for the mums who have posted back - your support is really appreciated. Although my son is only 15 he is coping with this really well - mainly due to the fact everyone at his school, including the teachers, know this girl and know him. At the time of the accusation we thought people would take sides but they haven't - they just support my son. It seems that everyone is advising me a "no further action" outcome is the best we can expect. I know it is, but I don't think I'm prepared to leave it there. Before they made this accusation I had reported a "false accusation of rape" - if there isn't going to be a trial there is no opportunity for my son to clear his name. I want to hear the reasons why she said this about him. I have LOTS of theories which are backed up by evidence but the police don't seem interested. After the case has been dropped or won has anyone pressed for a prosecution of the accuser? I know its a long shot as she is young - but so is my son. If the police don't answer my questions I want to complain about their behaviour as they are not following the guidelines set out regarding false allegation claims - especially as the accuser and the boy accused of rape were both 14. Has anybody taken it further? I should find out what the CPS intend to do soon - he's not charged so not on bail - just waiting to see if they think its worth pressing charges. I don't want my son to go through a court case - but I want justice and stop this crazy girl from doing it to someone else's son.

Patience.

You made a criminal accusation to the Police. They have a duty to investigate it.

On the face of things both complaints appear to have been made at the same time so one cannot be held to be reactionary to the other.

The Police may well chose to deal with the more serious accusation first BUT they should investigate and conclude BOTH complaints.

I would seek the opinion of your solicitor. It appears clear as day that they are capable and determined. Must've been one hell of a train journey/car ride/interview/car ride/train journey. All for a pittance as well unless you were paying for their attendance? Even still they'd need to be billing crazy amounts to cover it all!

Thank god your boy has someone like you for a mum. You've done a bloody excellent job!

I'd be pushing for a 'No Crime' rather than 'No Further Action' but wait and see what happens first. Decisions will need to be made and no doubt some further enquires. Stick to your guns.

[tiger mum]

Thanks for the mums who have posted back - your support is really appreciated. Although my son is only 15 he is coping with this really well - mainly due to the fact everyone at his school, including the teachers, know this girl and know him. At the time of the accusation we thought people would take sides but they haven't - they just support my son. It seems that everyone is advising me a "no further action" outcome is the best we can expect. I know it is, but I don't think I'm prepared to leave it there. Before they made this accusation I had reported a "false accusation of rape" - if there isn't going to be a trial there is no opportunity for my son to clear his name. I want to hear the reasons why she said this about him. I have LOTS of theories which are backed up by evidence but the police don't seem interested. After the case has been dropped or won has anyone pressed for a prosecution of the accuser? I know its a long shot as she is young - but so is my son. If the police don't answer my questions I want to complain about their behaviour as they are not following the guidelines set out regarding false allegation claims - especially as the accuser and the boy accused of rape were both 14. Has anybody taken it further? I should find out what the CPS intend to do soon - he's not charged so not on bail - just waiting to see if they think its worth pressing charges. I don't want my son to go through a court case - but I want justice and stop this crazy girl from doing it to someone else's son.

[brinners68]

keep strong

Hi Tiger mum
I have read your posts and just want to say there is light at the end of the tunnel, my son who is 20 was also wrongly accused of rape , he was bailed for 4 months where in my opinion he was treated by the police as a criminal , there is no compassion in the law anymore , little girls who seek attention can cry wolf and mess with the accused and all their family and friends. we new my son was innocent .we've learnt from this but it has only made us better and stronger people , life is full of unfairness we just have to hold our heads up and deal with it or we will fall away .
Stay strong support him and you will be ok ..
Regards Brinners68