Helping my 14 year deal with a false accusation of rape

[Casehardened]

Be prepared for 'police-speak'!

For instance if there is no DNA found, the report may say the results are 'inconclusive'.

Strictly speaking the terminology is correct as there was no conclusion, but to the man in the street it sounds like there was some doubt whether there was or wasn't.

[lawlessone2009]

thanks so much for taking the time to explain - its a nightmare wondering what's going on and not being able to do anything about it. Also I'm trying to explain things to my son so he doesn't find out things from others - without worrying him unnecessarily. I've found it impossible to focus on some important work I have to do for tomorrow - thanks for being there x

Hey,

I was falsely accused in November 2011 and I still don't know what's going on................

I was still on bail as of 17th of January 2014 (might still be on it just don't know). Bail was supposedly dropped in November/December 2012. The case against me came to an end in the High Court in Edinburgh in August 2013.........................................

Yet still on bail.

Plenty things to confuse you a lot more yet!

Go get your work done!

A womans work is never done and it's never never going to be done if you don't start it...

Give your boy a big cuddle, tell him he has the best mum in the world and that there is nothing to worry about.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Tigermum DNA can stick around for a very long time, but body fluids are reasonably fragile. This is a very useful link on forensics and it explains different aspects very clearly .

http://www.exploreforensics.co.uk/An...eCategory.html

I think that you're probably having a bit of a panic - quite understandably, because of the uncertainty of it all. Try and stay focused and not get too obsessed with it. You'll be given the answers in due course.

I personally think it's a good thing they're interviewing the other kids. I'm not sure what the procedure is for interviewing child witnesses, perhaps this is something you should discuss with your solicitor.

Your doing great, no need to panic.

[tiger mum]

thanks so much for taking the time to explain - its a nightmare wondering what's going on and not being able to do anything about it. Also I'm trying to explain things to my son so he doesn't find out things from others - without worrying him unnecessarily. I've found it impossible to focus on some important work I have to do for tomorrow - thanks for being there x

[lawlessone2009]

I'm a bit confused. Swabs were taken from her on Wednesday after the party on the previous Friday. Do you mean that the fact these tests were so long after the "event" mean that the police will say - "well not having any evidence doesn't mean he's not guilty because it was so long afterwards that her mum found out the rape rumour she was telling people - then rang the police? Also why is the fact they are now retracing their steps and getting the kids to do video evidence a good thing? When they first spoke to the kids they said "if we needed you to would you give video evidence?". Why do they now need to? You would have thought this is the stage to drop it as there is no chance of prosecuting. Do you think the kids have told the police something which points the finger at my son? The solicitor seemed to think the lack of DNA was a good thing - but I was expecting this and thought at this stage they may drop the investigation. No such luck

They'll need video evidence as they don't have any other evidence. The case is clearly, at the moment, too weak to meet the 'realistic prospect of conviction' milestone. Even carrying out plenty of video interviews does not mean that that status will change. It could also be that they want to gather evidence against the girl or test out some theories with willing interviewees. When people are willing to be interviewed they will just about answer anything that you want them too, it takes their guard down. The Police may be trying to suss out the entire situation as they simply don't know what to believe.

It's all good because it means they are actually investigating. Generally when they finish investigating it means they have enough evidence to charge or they believe there is no more evidence to be found. It can be nail biting attempting to figure out what it all means but take it that they are investigating which is a good thing as it means they are looking at it all and have not made up their minds.

As for DNA. If it's taken immediately afterwards then it is reasonably conclusive even if they like to call a negative result 'inconclusive'. DNA doesn't stay around forever and the longer after the event the less likely it is to be present. You need to consider that they may be looking for DNA on items of clothing as well as on her body. They will look for the three 'S's... Sweat, saliva and semen. They may also look for concentrations of skin cells in select areas. There could also be far more to it than that, I've never really read too deeply into it all or read the 'insiders guide'.

I'd imagine they'd also carry out a pregnancy test! Might seem silly but imagine someone is raped, there's no DNA evidence BUT there is a baby growing inside her. This is merely for you to think about. The investigation of any allegation is massive and far more than most normal people would consider, that's why it takes time. You, me and the rest of the world might know she's lying but the Police need to investigate as they are supposed to be impartial and take the allegation as true until proven otherwise or shown to be unprovable (is that a word! ).

You raised your doubts with them so they will need to weigh those doubts into the situation as well. I'd imagine there's quite a lot going on that is unknown but it is happening and will form part of the future decision as to how they are going to proceed. I'd try and not stress too much and hold the belief that innocence WILL win the day, it's certainly got a blooming good chance as the Police ARE actually investigating.

[tiger mum]

I'm a bit confused. Swabs were taken from her on Wednesday after the party on the previous Friday. Do you mean that the fact these tests were so long after the "event" mean that the police will say - "well not having any evidence doesn't mean he's not guilty because it was so long afterwards that her mum found out the rape rumour she was telling people - then rang the police? Also why is the fact they are now retracing their steps and getting the kids to do video evidence a good thing? When they first spoke to the kids they said "if we needed you to would you give video evidence?". Why do they now need to? You would have thought this is the stage to drop it as there is no chance of prosecuting. Do you think the kids have told the police something which points the finger at my son? The solicitor seemed to think the lack of DNA was a good thing - but I was expecting this and thought at this stage they may drop the investigation. No such luck

[lawlessone2009]

DNA is SUPER important if it's recent. The longer the passage of time the more the significance fades.

They may well 'subtly' put it to her that your boys DNA was not found and then gauge her reaction.

Did you not say that the DNA was taken 5 days afterwards?

A normal course of action would be to go for the easiest form of evidence first, a form that a jury will almost certainly be guaranteed to accept. Your boy appears to be in a position where he is saying that sex did not take place so his DNA being present would change the dynamics of the investigation. Even if he hasn't denied having sex during the interview the Police will assume his position is one of denial because, generally, if sex had taken place then he would've been inclined to say so and then state it was consensual.

Lack of DNA being present makes it all a little more difficult for a prosecution. The reliance will shift to unreliable sources such as witnesses etc. This is a minefield and great caution needs to be taken when carrying out interviews as it is so easy for people to slip in between facts and hearsay. I would say that it is extremely positive that the Police are pursuing video interviews, they are taking everything seriously which, in my opinion, means they either have grave doubts about guilt or, at this stage, no evidence.

[tiger mum]

My son's solicitor has just called, he has chased the police for an update and there is no DNA evidence at first or second stage tests. The police spoke to the witnesses at the party within weeks of the occurrence, but she now is going to re interview them using video. Is this a bad sign? I know what some of the kids have already said, I feel the police are digging around for stuff to use against my son in the absence of anything concrete. Why are they taking the lies of a silly girl seriously and ignoring what other kids are telling them - its all made up! Could they be gathering evidence to use against the girl? - I did report a "false allegation of rape" against the accuser before her mother rang in the rape allegation against my son. I've followed this up and the same officer is leading both investigations. Why aren't the police out there hunting proper rapists and child abusers? They have facebook evidence the girl is making this up! The other kids have told them nothing happened in informal interviews - her friends support my son and say she is crackers. Why waste all this resource and cause so much worry on the word of one child? It's a crazy world.

[DeamonsRun]

Thank You for your comment, and yes I do try my best, but sometimes I cant help it going through my mind.
I can still see the whole event in my mind in every little detail.
I think it is wrong that when a girl accuses a man of Rape they get all the help and support in the world given to them, but if a man is found innocent of these allegations all he gets, oh well your innocent and tossed out with no support from the state and left to suffer from effects of what has happened to Him...
The sad fact of today is that 3 in every 5 Rape allegations are false and the girls behind these false allegations only receive a slap on the wrist in (Don't do it again)...
I believe and support that If a Girl is found to be making false allegations of Rape, that she will then become subject to the same laws if a man was found guilty of the crime she has accused him of...
This would include a prison sentence of at least 2 years without parole.
A fine for wasting police time and false testimony
And paying compensation and legal fees of the Man she has wrongfully accused.
With this would also in cure a restraining order against Her and her Family from approaching the man or going near his home.
A criminal record for life, so if she applies for a job where they have to do a background check it will show up, just as if it were a man convicted of the crime.
With this as a Law I believe that cases where men are being falsely accused will drop dramatically or even better STOP completely.

If all goes well I will sone be pertitioning Government to change the Law and make allegations like these a thing of the past.

[DeamonsRun]

Re- Dave Thank you

Thank You for your comment, and yes I do try my best, but sometimes I cant help it going through my mind.
I can still see the whole event in my mind in every little detail.
I think it is wrong that when a girl accuses a man of Rape they get all the help and support in the world given to them, but if a man is found innocent of these allegations all he gets, oh well your innocent and tossed out with no support from the state and left to suffer from effects of what has happened to Him...
The sad fact of today is that 3 in every 5 Rape allegations are false and the girls behind these false allegations only receive a slap on the wrist in (Don't do it again)...
I believe and support that If a Girl is found to be making false allegations of Rape, that she will then become subject to the same laws if a man was found guilty of the crime she has accused him of...
This would include a prison sentence of at least 2 years without parole.
A fine for wasting police time and false testimony
And paying compensation and legal fees of the Man she has wrongfully accused.
With this would also in cure a restraining order against Her and her Family from approaching the man or going near his home.
A criminal record for life, so if she applies for a job where they have to do a background chech it will show up, just as if it were a man convicted of the crime.
With this as a Law I believe that cases where men are being falsely accused will drop dramatically or even better STOP completely.

[Dave]

After being on the receiving end of an allegation of Rape, I can tell everyone that even years down the line I still suffer from it. The main area it affects my life is with Relationships, I havnt been in a single relationship since were I havnt thought to myself (What If)... Sadly the knock-on effects of such an allegation are huge and will last for years. Even being found innocent doesn't fully help, yes you obviously have the initial joy that its all over and that you have won, but with time the effects of the Trauma start to show.
You can never fully recover from such an allegation it will be with you for the rest of your life...
It has so many knock-on effects in your life that it could almost be described as Torture.
I just hope that one day I can be in a relationship were I don't have that (What If) feeling running through my head any more.

I concur, but try not to let it rule your life.

[DeamonsRun]

Problems continue for many years to come,,

After being on the receiving end of an allegation of Rape, I can tell everyone that even years down the line I still suffer from it. The main area it affects my life is with Relationships, I havnt been in a single relationship since were I havnt thought to myself (What If)... Sadly the knock-on effects of such an allegation are huge and will last for years. Even being found innocent doesn't fully help, yes you obviously have the initial joy that its all over and that you have won, but with time the effects of the Trauma start to show.
You can never fully recover from such an allegation it will be with you for the rest of your life...
It has so many knock-on effects in your life that it could almost be described as Torture.
I just hope that one day I can be in a relationship were I don't have that (What If) feeling running through my head any more.

[tiger mum]

No chance of my son and I falling out! We never do - real chips off the same old block. When he was new born and his brother 2 his dad decided he didn't want us and went on a 5 week round the world trip which inevitably led to divorce. I think the bond we formed back then has only got stronger through the years - I've always been on the same team as the boys. I had a terrible life changing experience when I was 17, as a result I was prosecuted and felt very isolated and abandoned by the adults around me, also my older siblings who were all busy getting on with their lives. I remember the "why me" thoughts I had at the time - when this blew up with my son. I realised why - so I could do a proper job of parenting him - a job my parents failed at with catastrophic results for me. That's what we have do - pull on our resources and experiences and tap into the skills and knowledge of others to help people through. I played at counselling others to give something back but it frustrated me how little some people are prepared to do - whinging doesn't get you anywhere. I can't think of a more deserving person to receive my support than my son - but I appreciate the advice about keeping a very close eye on his mental state - I can't take it for granted. My elder son has needed support too, he's had to cope with school friends asking if he has heard his little brother is a rapist. They've always been close - but they are closer now as its really made them realise how much they need each other - not just me!

[lawlessone2009]

Hi deamon run - I'll give you any support anyhow I can - what kind of support do you need?

With a couple of weeks we should know how the what the CPS intend to progress. This will dictate which battle commences. Although I would like to make this girl accountable for the impact of her lies, my son wants it over. He is at the same school as her, (can you imagine an adult having no choice but to eat lunch everyday day in the same place as a woman who had tried to destroy your life with these evil lies?) and he wants his old life back. I have to respect that this is his situation to manage, but as long as he is not directly involved with any action initiated by me, he understands if we get "No Crime" or "No Further Action" this still isn't good enough regarding the hell she and the police have put us through. I've explained that it's up to the CPS if they want to take our report of a false accusation further - but I made this allegation to the police in the spirit of protecting my son, (on the same evening but before her mother reported a alleged rape) not with the intention of persecuting a daft 14 year old who doesn't seem to understand what rape means - (until the police explain it to her then she says "oh yes - that's what happened"). So basically until we know what the CPS intend to do we are sitting site, trying not to worry too much. If they are going to prosecute him I have no doubt we will successfully defend him - but obviously at such a young age I want him to just get back on track with his life - which by the way was going very, very well before all this. We have spoken about counselling - I have some basic experience myself - but he feels he is doing okay with me to talk to. You can't impose counselling on anyone so I'm just keeping a close eye on him and we talk about his day, if anything has been said about it all, did he see her school etc. He's much better than he was, thankfully he does have wisdom beyond his years, he has a lot of faith in his Solicitor and some of his teachers have been particularly supportive of him. He's a genuinely nice lad, nobody believes her except her mother (if she doesn't then she is the most vile of people to do this to another child) and the police. We have just got to hang on and see what happens......... Kids do bounce, its us adults who dwell and over think things and go loopy - just got to make sure this doesn't have a lasting impact - he was angry and "why me" - now he says its better she singled him out as me and him can cope with it and his friends wouldn't have done so well! I think he actually feels sorry for her as no one will speak to her at school - you've got to give him credit for that.

Good grief. I'm getting an education here. You say you only know the 'basics'? Either your understating your awesomeness or you've eaten too many books over the last short time.

Your boy is lucky to have you as his mum. I can believe 110% that he's genuine and intelligent.

Hell, I remember a time when I could 'operate' efficiently and progress in life. Slowly getting back to it. It's good to hear your keeping the 'chats' and things on the go with focus in the right areas at the right times. I'm hoping you two don't have a fall out when thnigs do come to an end in so far as the false allegation is concerned. I trust your boy will see and understand everything that you are doing for him.

[tiger mum]

Hi deamon run - I'll give you any support anyhow I can - what kind of support do you need?

With a couple of weeks we should know how the what the CPS intend to progress. This will dictate which battle commences. Although I would like to make this girl accountable for the impact of her lies, my son wants it over. He is at the same school as her, (can you imagine an adult having no choice but to eat lunch everyday day in the same place as a woman who had tried to destroy your life with these evil lies?) and he wants his old life back. I have to respect that this is his situation to manage, but as long as he is not directly involved with any action initiated by me, he understands if we get "No Crime" or "No Further Action" this still isn't good enough regarding the hell she and the police have put us through. I've explained that it's up to the CPS if they want to take our report of a false accusation further - but I made this allegation to the police in the spirit of protecting my son, (on the same evening but before her mother reported a alleged rape) not with the intention of persecuting a daft 14 year old who doesn't seem to understand what rape means - (until the police explain it to her then she says "oh yes - that's what happened"). So basically until we know what the CPS intend to do we are sitting site, trying not to worry too much. If they are going to prosecute him I have no doubt we will successfully defend him - but obviously at such a young age I want him to just get back on track with his life - which by the way was going very, very well before all this. We have spoken about counselling - I have some basic experience myself - but he feels he is doing okay with me to talk to. You can't impose counselling on anyone so I'm just keeping a close eye on him and we talk about his day, if anything has been said about it all, did he see her school etc. He's much better than he was, thankfully he does have wisdom beyond his years, he has a lot of faith in his Solicitor and some of his teachers have been particularly supportive of him. He's a genuinely nice lad, nobody believes her except her mother (if she doesn't then she is the most vile of people to do this to another child) and the police. We have just got to hang on and see what happens......... Kids do bounce, its us adults who dwell and over think things and go loopy - just got to make sure this doesn't have a lasting impact - he was angry and "why me" - now he says its better she singled him out as me and him can cope with it and his friends wouldn't have done so well! I think he actually feels sorry for her as no one will speak to her at school - you've got to give him credit for that.