Hi everyone,

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Sparks - that's completely understandable - even if your advice has been very sound.
I hope you're managing to get organised and are bearing up.
Will be thinking of you on Tuesday and keep you in my prayers

[sparks]

Taps

HI Everyone,

want to start with an apology, I want to admit to drinking and drugs to try and cope with what I am facing and I am ashamed to say that I have took substances other then what was prescribed by my GP, I would like to add I have never experimented with substances before and do not advocate their use,
this Tuesday I will be sentenced for allegations that are untrue and unfounded I have tried to maintain some dignity and restraint when dealing with this, but I have failed miserably, I have hoped and prayed my faith would carry me through but at times I am ashamed to say I have found myself questioning it, I have though found strength from people I do not know and have never met and I am sure that they are the reason that I am still here to be able to type this now
I am and never will be guilty of hurting any child, be it by sexual, physical mental or any other means, on the 12th of August last year I received a visit from SS that changed my life, I lost my job, family, and suffered a heart attack, I drink and am now taking drugs and am still smoking, the probation officer asked me "what are your feelings towards the victims" I said I have never met any victims but I am angry with the liars, your all suffering a nightmare and I hope that everyone gets a positive and just result from it, but do not sit back in the believe that justice will prevail and that the members of the jury will arrive at the truth, the only people regardless of what you believe, that know the truth are you, the people making the allegations and GOD, if you are truly innocent then never stop fighting to prove it, and if you are truly a victim never accept it, thank you everyone for the help and assistance and support I have received here, I will be keeping in touch with myhome who will update you, and one day I promise I will return here in the hope I can make a difference to others as this site has made to me, GOD bless you all, and I wish you all the best of luck in what ever you face.

Sparks

[is there justice?]

Oh Sparks

I really don't know what to say to you. You have been amazing in the way you have dealt with all this whilst giving support and thinking of others.
I feel so angry that someone can be convicted just on the word of another/s.

The truth can never be changed, it will always be the truth.

I wish you the strength to get through what lies ahead, and come out the other side and carry on with your life. If it is a custodial sentence you will be sorely missed, hopefully for the shortest of time.

I still cannot get my head around NGs for some charges and a guilty for others - it's almost like they were proved to be making stuff up.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon

ITJ xxx

[dandare]

Hi Sparks,

I don't feel you need to apologize to any of us, we all understand that sometimes we get lost and do things that maybe are not the best for us but its such a dark place and you may feel it takes the edge off. My husband started drinking quite heavily at the beginning of our hell but after a few harsh words from me that its bad enough that my kids cant see him but when this gets resolved what are they going to deal with, a dad who is unable to care for them because he is an alcoholic, and the fact that i am trying to hold things together and not drinking, when to be quite honest i would like to blow off but i cant. I am suffering badly from depression just now and some days are very black (especially after a visit from ss because she tries to twist things and leaves me drained and angry ) where i feel suicidal but the thought of my children finding scares me more and how it would affect their lives. I hope you find closure and can get your life back on track, you have helped so many on this group and personally speaking if i can help by offering an ear please pm me.

[lawlessone2009]

Hey Sparks,

I am sure nobody will think bad of you for doing anything that at least calms the mind a little or takes it off to a different land for a while. I sure as hell don't!

I had a few 'joints' during my long escapade. I found that it provided a little relaxation and allowed the mind to focus now and again.

Everyone has their own little 'vice' and nobody can judge others when really they do not know the hell that's happening. I would reckon that most on this forum fully support your need and indeed choice to do whatever possible to attempt to alleviate your suffering.

I am sorry to hear of your position. Are there any grounds for appeal?

I am happy to hear that you have dealt with the probation officer truly and clearly. You cannot show remorse for something that didn't happen. I have a friend who dealt with his situation in a similar manner and the 'frankness and honesty' was something that was commented upon by the judge. He received a rather long period of Community Service. Is this an option for you?????????

Without having being involved directly or being able to hear all that's been said and the manner in which it has been put forward it is difficult to attempt to say anything will 'be ok' or potentially 'lighter' sentence wise than you think. Hang on in there and we will ALL be here regardless of what happens.

[lonley place]

Thinking of you Sparks xx

May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.

[sparks]

God I do not know what is going on now, Sol phoned me to say she thinks sentencing has been postponed till 10th October she is going to phone me back to confirm.

[Casehardened]

God I do not know what is going on now, Sol phoned me to say she thinks sentencing has been postponed till 10th October she is going to phone me back to confirm.

I've been considering all day how to word a reply to your post this morning and now I've had a reprieve

Seriously though, could this be good news, sounds like the judge is unsure?

[myhome]

LP - that is beautiful. What is it?

sparks - I just don't know what to say - this is awful for you when you have settled everything ready for tomorrow
Maybe - just maybe - they can't be putting much importance on your case. some people have been told to be prepared to go to prison straight from the trial if they had a guilty verdict.......fingers crossed - ring whenever you need a natter or a rant xx

[can it get worse]

Sparks - no words are enough to you. You are in our thoughts. I hope there is some room for optimism.

[lonley place]

Fingers crossed for you Sparkes

Its an Irish blessing MH xx

[sparks]

Thank you so much for the blessing Lonely Place it is beautiful,

My head is all over the place at moment I was some what prepared for what was going to happen today, and now I am in a mess again, do they have no thought for peoples lives, I cancelled every thing and give notice on my accommodation, but the worst bit was talking to my son knowing it could be the last time for quite awhile, I really do not think I can do this again, what a mess.

Sparks

[lonley place]

Thank you so much for the blessing Lonely Place it is beautiful,

My head is all over the place at moment I was some what prepared for what was going to happen today, and now I am in a mess again, do they have no thought for peoples lives, I cancelled every thing and give notice on my accommodation, but the worst bit was talking to my son knowing it could be the last time for quite awhile, I really do not think I can do this again, what a mess.

Sparks

Hi Sparks
I have no words of comfort to offer I do though have support for you in abundance.
Keep going my friend xx

[whatsgoingon?]

I really feel for you, Sparks. The whole thing is so cruel from start to finish. I'm really not sure who, if anyone, it serves either. You've been so courageous to date, you have to keep going right to the other side and see those beaming smiles on your kids' faces. Look on the good side... perhaps you'll get a chance to speak to your boy a few times more. Perhaps they're giving your case special consideration bearing in mind the health problems you've had. If it's not till October now,are you allowed to travel at all to stay with or visit a family member rather than sticking it out on your own ?

Take care

[myhome]

I really do not think I can do this again, what a mess. Sparks

Hi sparks - just a little suggestion that may help (I've used it and it helped me - so it may help you too....)

I used to say, "I can't do this any more!" Then, when I was a bit stronger, I asked myself what the alternatives were - i) end of the road; ii) dribbling in a corner. Didn't like the first; the second was appealing for a while but I didn't!!!!

So, then I changed what I said to, "I don't know how to do this any more..." and then looked for things and people that could help me....

So, for you, I would like to think that you can do this again; so perhaps you could say, "I really do not know how I can do this again." That's where we come in!!! There are loads of people supporting you on here; between us we must have a wealth of coping strategies and strength that we can give you and share with you - and we all will do this for you....we can't change your situation but we can talk to you and give you our strength to help you through the next 4 weeks and beyond......

Please, please don't give up now. You've come so far.......... MH