My Story... (LONG)... Input helpful and I am happy to discuss.

[is there justice?]

LL1

I understand you're all out but this is fabulous news - an a landmark victory as you say. Sounds like you have up to 9 months to rest - amazing!

I know your tired but these blummin' bananas won't stay still although I've told them to dance quietly .....


Congratulations!!!

[whatsgoingon?]

That's absolutely brilliant news on all counts (except 1 ). I'm really happy that your case is setting a precedant for future cases and that your name will be on it! It was reading your posts over a year ago , now, about looking into past cases and precedance which got me reading and finding the 'big one' on drunkun consent which was relevant to my boy's case.
Although I haven't always had time to read or post on your thread (sometimes a bit long...) I can say that you've been an inspiration to me at least and really brought it home to me early on that you have to fight., and you really have wrestled! So not at all surprising your head and heart are a mash.
Is there any chance of you taking several very quiet weeks off in the mountains, cabin on an island or a retreat somewhere? Psychiatrists, therapists etc do have a place, sometimes you just need to reconnect with the natural world.

Congratulations to you and your fiancée. Long life and happiness

[whatsgoingon?]

Now for your just deserts....

[RFLH]

well - what can I say but - have a banana!

[Casehardened]

L1,

You really slipped that one in under the wire..I had to read it twice before I realised that you were actually giving us good news

Don't be too despondent about feeling down; it's just that the adrenaline rush has gone and your body and mind are recuperating. Have another holidayand then come back and tell us all about it.

PS As RFLH was a bit mean with the bananas here's another one

[can it get worse]

Big big big congratulations. You are a great inspiration for us all. Your intelligence is big and worth a big banana.

Fantastic news. Well done to all your team. Jewels.

[Dave]

Great news, hold tight, recovery will be along soon

[frightened spouse]

So pleased to hear your good news LL1 you have been through a horrendous ordeal, no wonder you are feeling the after effects .

It gives new comers such as myself hope to see successful outcomes even though it was a gargantuan struggle to get there.

Best wishes to you and your family

[myhome]

WAAAAAAAYYYYYY HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY so very very pleased for you - give yourself time to heal - 9 months should do it!!!!!

Seriously you've been through 2 years of hell and part of it twice - no-one can be expected to recover from that in nothing flat.....all the adrenaline and cortisol and stuff that has been keeping you going in that time needs to be released and your body and brain need time to recover from emotional battering. I know you don't like meds but your GP should be able to recommend some professional talking therapists and you could always try alternative therapy such as Reiki Healing etc.......anyway - always overjoyed to release these little beggars.......

[lawlessone2009]

Thank you so kindly guys/girls.

I expected the banana boat to be empty after the first serving I had but here I am overdosing on potassium yet again.

You guys are all still here and all still helping. I feel cheap as I've not been on much in a while...

I am here and I have kind of been reading but my minds been in some strange places so my 'advice' was better left for the doctors rather than those needing some help/guidance. Those doctors never came so unfortunately you guys are left with me thinking I'm able to give advice...

All I can say is that even when you want to stop you simply can't. Even if you feel you can there is always an external force that simply won't allow it. Life moves on and on with everyone attempting to get themselves well over the top of you. Don't be dragged downward and, instead, fight for your place even if it is merely fighting your corner to stay exactly where you are. Fate sometimes leads to success and fate sometimes leads to failure, have a belief that success is coming your way. Being here on the forum is a step towards bringing your 'success'. It is by no means a guarantee but it is a little helping hand along the road and finding yourself accused of/faced with such horrible things will mean you'll need a lot of little helping hands. There's lots of us thankfully.

[myhome]

Hi LL1 - a lovely post
Please please don't feel "cheap" or anything else for not being here recently. You've been to hell and back twice and that's 2 x more than anyone should have to bear......
hope you're beginning to realise you're freedom and that the healing has begun....

[lawlessone2009]

One week later...

I was at the docs today. Now on 'Sertraline' anti-depressants. God is the relief awesome! My whole body aches now, it was sore before but I just did not realise HOW sore. Adrenaline, stress and anxiety must've been keeping me wired. It is sooooooooooo good to actually feel the pain in my joints and actually be able to relax the muscles and let them rest.

My mind went through quite a strange period in the afternoon. It settled immensely. I know it's roughly a week or two before everything begins to actually work and a lot of people report little or no effects but I could certainly feel them kick in and begin their work. I was beyond over the edge, I was in free fall.

Monday of this week was absolutely terrible. The word 'suicide' popped into my head and THE WORD suicide danced a merry dance ALL DAY. I don't think I will ever be able to mis-spell that word unless purely a typing error... It was so incredibly weird, just the word... No actual formulation of plans or actual thoughts of how to go about things, just the bloody word!

It did pass. It surprised me.

I broke down in the docs today when I told her about it. The doc is my mums actual doc, I just take whoever is on, so my mum has been talking with her and keeping her updated and voiced her concerns etc... How the truth comes out eh? Secretive mums and things...

I had asked for some counselling at the very beginning of my appointment. I have instead simply been referred to the Mental Health Team in general for a proper assessment rather than the 'sit and chat' I was getting to begin with. The doc phoned them when I left and requested a priority appointment so next Wednesday I am squeezed in with lots of phone numbers, advice and such to carry me through the meantime. Back at docs on Friday next week. Only getting a weekly prescription of those lovely pills too.........

Oh god...

I NEEDED help though. I was determined to see the false allegation through right to the bitter end without having any form of excuse or mitigating medical info should I have been wrongly convicted. I wanted to stand as a bare and innocent person. I was also afraid that if I got myself drugged up I wouldn't be able to focus and also read, on reflection I would most likely have been better focused and more able to read.

So... Even when it's all over and it's positive in so far as the legal outcome is concerned, it just doesn't quite get there for a while and not without some help. I know the future will change and happiness is merely around the corner. It's coming and I will embrace it.

[myhome]

You've been through hell of an ordeal LL1 and without medical support too shows incredible strength......I hope the Mental health team can speed your healing along.......

[whatsgoingon?]

Take time to nurture yourself back to health (not too long though... you'll be badly needed in ...how many months???)

[lawlessone2009]

You've been through hell of an ordeal LL1 and without medical support too shows incredible strength......I hope the Mental health team can speed your healing along.......

Hey, Thanks.

I know I am coming out the other end. I know that I need help, I knew all along but just wasn't willing to take it. I'm now going to embrace it as the rest of my life is just around the corner.

I'm approaching the corner.

This place helped me no end. Everyone here is fantastic and forever giving that little bit extra support. I definitely would not have gotten to where I am without being here. It's strange how someone sharing their experiences can directly impact on your own experiences and how you go about things. The space to rant and rave and make some nonsense statements whilst being tolerated (to a degree!) is also invaluable. Also having others that KNOW what it's all like rather than people that think they know because they studied it in a book. This place is invaluable.

I popped into my solicitors this afternoon. Handed in a lovely (hope he thinks it is!) bottle of whiskey and a card. Handed the same whiskey and card in for the Advocate, unfortunately he'll probably not get it until next week... Cannot believe how unbelievable professional they were right to the end. It's a god send that people like that are still in existence.