Our world is upside down

[heartbreaking]

I'm so mad!!! I could scream. How dare u!!!! They are getting on with there lives. I often wonder. At what point did they all sit down and go ok let's make this up and let's ruin lives. 15 years to make up a story only to have the story taken as gospel truth. How are we supposed to have evidence off 25 yevars ago About something that didn't happen?!?!??! Ahhhhhhhhh

[heartbreaking]

I hope for that day. We where supposed to be getting married this year and having a baby.
Can't see any of that happening now

[YearsOfHell]

I mis him. I miss him so much and I'm expected jut to get on with my life. He's my world my best friend my everything. We used to just sit and talk For hours and hours. Make plans and look forward to the next day. Now he's so depressed he can't even talk or think. I fear ill never get him back.

Stay strong for him Hun.
I know this must be the hardest thing you have ever had to cope with and none of us ever dreamt we would be in this position but you will get through it.
Get him to the GP if he needs it.
My hubby is currently getting CBTherapy which has really helped.
Do it soon as there's often a waiting list.
You do the same too if you feel it may help.
You'll both find you have good days and bad days.
The initial shock and terror gets better I promise.
You will get through this!!
We're all here together.
Without this forum we would never cope!

[Rights Fighter]

I mis him. I miss him so much and I'm expected jut to get on with my life. He's my world my best friend my everything. We used to just sit and talk For hours and hours. Make plans and look forward to the next day. Now he's so depressed he can't even talk or think. I fear ill never get him back.

I wish I could just come and give you a big hug. Your pain and fear screams out. Believe us when we say we understand a little of what you are feeling.

[AmandaF]

Two in west midlands and me up here- sure we could meet half way?? Is Coventry classed as WM? Typical Yorkshire woman my geography south of Chesterfield is S***e!!

[AmandaF]

Heartbreaking- I really feel for you. I spoke to mine earlier and he is SOOO depressed it scares me. To see a big larger than life outgoing man reduced to this is terrible. But we just have o be there in whatever form that is.
Megane- that's pants. But no he must NEVER be bribed like that!! Conversely my man was told that if he carried on protesting his innocence he would get a longer sentence, but that didn't happen. And he was also advised by council NOT to transfer to an English prison as they were much harsher.
I was offered counselling through work but tbh I find more comfort on here as we're all in it together so keep posting!!

[Rights Fighter]

.....I too live in the West Midlands .................. at the moment I'm just coping with this distance I gave been out the house for 12 hours and gave to work tomorrow.

They could move him to a prison an hour away if he admits to it ........
Thanks

I used to live in Walsall near to the arboretum!

Officers, MAPPA, and "psychology" often lie about transfers to a prison of choice but 'they can only go if they admit guilt'. He needs to be VERY careful about this. I knew of a guy who was in HMP Stafford who wanted to be close to his family in Nottinghamshire. He was told 'you can only go to Whatton if you do the courses - which of course means he would have to admit guilt.

He said he would do the course and on arrival, refused point blank to do it.

At the time he was an active appellant, his daughter had gone to the police and undergone a 4 hour video interview where she retracted the allegations and gave reasons as to why she lied.

The Court of Appeal refused the appeal because he agreed to undertake an offence-related course, and they in their huge wisdom decided that that meant he 'must have done some of it'.

He must never agree to do any offence-related course if he is trying to appeal (even if he is not otherwise he becomes a self-confessed sex offender). He can agree to be assessed but must maintain his innocence stance.

[jittery]

hi

I mis him. I miss him so much and I'm expected jut to get on with my life. He's my world my best friend my everything. We used to just sit and talk For hours and hours. Make plans and look forward to the next day. Now he's so depressed he can't even talk or think. I fear ill never get him back.

It must be a horrible place to be. I wish I could make it all better for you I really do. Please try not to let this get you down. I'm sure I speak for us all when I wish you all the best wishes I can and I really hope this turns out well for you.

[jittery]

I too live in the West Midlands but don't know the area well is South Yorkshire far I'm showing my bad geography here now. I've just got back from my visit and feel like ****. They may be moving my husband now to a prison even further away about 6 hours each way I feel really low at the moment I'm just coping with this distance I gave been out the house for 12 hours and gave to work tomorrow. They could move him to a prison an hour away if he admits to it I feel so helpless. He is so grateful for he being there but he worries about me and the boys he hasn't been allowed to see his sons now for 8 weeks and they and him are suffering. If they move him further away it's going to get even worse. God I bet you all think here she goes again sorry but it is so good to get it off my chest and to people that understand how I'm feeling.
Thanks

((((( BIG HUG)))))
South yorkshire is quite a way off. Course we don't think here she goes again- we'd be more worried if you said nothing!

[Megane2015]

Great post AF, but I thought you knew: all charges against me were dropped last month. I have to say that I was treated very well by the police and I stand by that, mind you I'm guessing, but it is only a guess that the woman who accused me is a serial accuser; they may have been thinking "here we go again",
I live in the west midlands, but south yorkshire's fine with me so long as I get petrol money

What you say is right about women with integrity. You all have a great deal of that :bigsmile

I too live in the West Midlands but don't know the area well is South Yorkshire far I'm showing my bad geography here now. I've just got back from my visit and feel like ****. They may be moving my husband now to a prison even further away about 6 hours each way I feel really low at the moment I'm just coping with this distance I gave been out the house for 12 hours and gave to work tomorrow. They could move him to a prison an hour away if he admits to it I feel so helpless. He is so grateful for he being there but he worries about me and the boys he hasn't been allowed to see his sons now for 8 weeks and they and him are suffering. If they move him further away it's going to get even worse. God I bet you all think here she goes again sorry but it is so good to get it off my chest and to people that understand how I'm feeling.
Thanks

[heartbreaking]

I mis him. I miss him so much and I'm expected jut to get on with my life. He's my world my best friend my everything. We used to just sit and talk For hours and hours. Make plans and look forward to the next day. Now he's so depressed he can't even talk or think. I fear ill never get him back.

[jittery]

hi

Well I just hope our story is one of the few with a happy ending. Because right now hope is all wee have.

Don't be too down heartbreaking, quite a few people are nfa'd. We don't hear about it because once the nightmare's over most people just want to forget about it. Fingers crossed for you, let's hope everything goes right!
Be strong!

[Rights Fighter]

Keep on posting hon. The more you post, especially on other people's threads, the more support you will get back. Hang on in there. We've all walked the same path at one stage or another.

[heartbreaking]

Well I just hope our story is one of the few with a happy ending. Because right now hope is all wee have.

[jittery]

qualiry!

Jittery- Thanks for that but i did not stand idly by and accept my other half's innocence. I questioned every aspect our lives together, whether I had missed any signs that something wasn't right. We have had custody of my grandson since he was 2 so I had a moral responsibility to look at all the "evidence" and after much soul searching and questioning the only conclusion I could reach was that there was no case to answer. However I was written off as "In denial" by the ss, child protection officers, police in general which made it very easy for them to bring charges against me, for which I too was facing 5 years in custody had I been found guilty.
Heartbreaking - I have tried to avoid putting on this thread that my man was charged and found guilty.as I didn't want to make you feel any worse. However, be prepared for the worst- it doesn't mean it will happen!!
Megane2015- it was jittery who put the comment about friends but I echo what he has said. I too suffered from panic attacks but this was mainly after I had been locked up for a few hours in a dingy Victorian nick. I am severely claustrophobic and after about an hour (I think) I was climbing the walls (literally) begging to be let out. I was sick, wet myself, had a pulse rate of what felt like over 200 bpm.(as a nurse I know that's not good)!! The guards reaction? Brought me a paper cup of water. On release, a social worker came to pick me up and tried to take me to A and E, her first comment being "What have they done to you in there"? After that I was counselled for post traumatic stress. But hey- I'm still standing and living a relatively normal life. What choice do we have?
Jittery- if more women were like us, there'd be fewer men in your predicament as we have a measure of integrity.
Anyway- I'm sticking my neck out here. I'm in south Yorkshire so if anyone would like to meet up I'm willing to travel a 100 mile radius or so.

Great post AF, but I thought you knew: all charges against me were dropped last month. I have to say that I was treated very well by the police and I stand by that, mind you I'm guessing, but it is only a guess that the woman who accused me is a serial accuser; they may have been thinking "here we go again",
I live in the west midlands, but south yorkshire's fine with me so long as I get petrol money

What you say is right about women with integrity. You all have a great deal of that :bigsmile