Please help

[myhome]

Hi erin - it's great to see you here and supporting aussieone - you rode out a hideous journey and have come out the other side and as you are already showing - with a wealth of strength and knowledge and advice that you are now using to help others....

Google Post Traumatic stress Disorder and Situational Stress Disorder - you may recognise some of the things written....

aussieone - as you've followed erin's thread, you know the hell he's been through and back again....he nearly gave in but he didn't...he will be a great support to you...I really hope you find a different way other than selling your home - added trauma that just compounds everything else.....keep strong and keep posting and we'll support you all we can.....

[aussieone]

Erin, thank you for your support but you are definitely not sounding the best. By the timing of your posts, you don't appear to be sleeping either. Please take my advice as a mental health nurse and others and see your Dr or ring a crisis team.

Today was a positive day, Sol was good, barrister is reputable. We are feeling more confident but I have a lot more homework to do. To say I am exhausted is an understatement, I will post a more detailed reply tomorrow

[can it get worse]

Erin, thank you for your support but you are definitely not sounding the best. By the timing of your posts, you don't appear to be sleeping either. Please take my advice as a mental health nurse and others and see your Dr or ring a crisis team.

Today was a positive day, Sol was good, barrister is reputable. We are feeling more confident but I have a lot more homework to do. To say I am exhausted is an understatement, I will post a more detailed reply tomorrow

Good to hear you had a 'successful' meeting. And really, really glad you are feeling more confident. This is exactly what we want to hear. Have a good night sleep.

[myhome]

Hi aussieone - glad you've had a more positive day....

erin - hope you get this - keep strong - keep a written record of anything like this and also get your witness to write their account and sign and date it or to sign and date yours. I would think your sol would be interested in your latest experiences!!! Take care of you babe - aussieone has given really sound advice about seeing a medical team - preferably a mental health one - to help with your recovery....Hope you and aussieone can keep in touch......pm me if you would like to.......

wishing you a good recovery and so much happiness in your future.....MH

[babygal2014]

Hi Aussieone,

I was wondering if it was a possibility that when your partner gave the dress to the girl he was speaking. Because sometimes when you speak you can release saliva into the air which could land on the dress. I hope this is a possible way that your defence could argue the dna of saliva on the dress.

[aussieone]

Thanks BG, there are a ton reasons as to why the saliva dna could be there. Especially considering the dress belonged to our daughter.

Off to meet the barrister today, in preparation for the commital hearing on Friday.

Not coping the best today . From last Thursday onwards, I have had phone calls from the police, solicitors, prosecution team. On top this, trying to run a household, work, watch my husband, be there for my girls, prepare our house for sale and still trying to hide the thing from our youngest daughter.

I am usually proactive and optimistic, but i hate not being in control of any siutation, let alone not knowing what we are about to walk into.

Feeling totally overwhelmed, massively anxious and on the verge of tears and it's only Monday. Seriously don't know how i am going to get through this week.

[can it get worse]

Thanks BG, there are a ton reasons as to why the saliva dna could be there. Especially considering the dress belonged to our daughter.

Off to meet the barrister today, in preparation for the commital hearing on Friday.

Not coping the best today . From last Thursday onwards, I have had phone calls from the police, solicitors, prosecution team. On top this, trying to run a household, work, watch my husband, be there for my girls, prepare our house for sale and still trying to hide the thing from our youngest daughter.

I am usually proactive and optimistic, but i hate not being in control of any siutation, let alone not knowing what we are about to walk into.

Feeling totally overwhelmed, massively anxious and on the verge of tears and it's only Monday. Seriously don't know how i am going to get through this week.

oh no Aussieone - this is too much for any person to take. I think now you will have been to see your barrister. I do hope it made things slightly easier for you. And has given you some further strength to get to Friday. Being a mum, you have so many responsibilities with every day life and then having to cope with this aswell is horrendous. Although we can identify that it's normal to feel like this - it does not make it easier. The fact that we are in a position where it is out of our control is unbearable. All these things together make it seem so bad.

As a human, one of our basic instincts is the need to be in control. If this is need is not being fulfilled, we naturally become anxious. This is further compounded because of the length of time we are in this situation with no clear indication of when it will end or what is going to happen inbetween.

I really feel for you as we all do on here. But please try to find some more inner strength. You can do it - you must do it for your partner & children. You are their anchor and you have build your life around them in maintaining their security.

[is there justice?]

Aussieone

Sending you cyber hugs. Mums always feel they can fix anything but sometimes it's out of our control which goes against our fiercely protective nature. You have so much to cope with right now. Try and make things easier by only doing what you have to do, other things will wait.
Hope the meeting with the Barrister was helpful.
Stay strong

[can it get worse]

Sending you lots of

You will get thru this - you have shown us your strength before with your support and kinds words for others. Do not be defeated. Gain some anger by what your FA is doing to you - and maybe that will provide you with the added strength that you need. It seems many of the FA's are still living enjoyable lives while they are doing this to not just the accused but the partners and their children - this is not acceptable in any way.

[myhome]

Hi aussieone - this is a very difficult time for you all - especially you as you try to hold the family together. It is so important that you get some help and support for yourself too......hugs..... MH

[aussieone]

Thank you

Thank you everyone for your lovely words of support, they were much needed yesterday and i had tears in my eyes as i read your replies. This truely is the only place where i can express how i feel. We do have friends and family who are supporting us but this is not exactly the sort of thing you want or they want to talk about.

I am in a much better place today. Our lawyer despite being a damn good one, is not a very good people person. That's ok, some people are good at their jobs and not so good with people. The barrister was awesome! Answered all my questions and actually spoke to my husband. It is very reassuring to know that my husband does not have to get on the stand on Friday.

I recieved a thank you for all the hardwork and hours of reasearch i have put in, both saying that i have saved them hours of work and i have found some good info and resources. I suppose in some way i have a heads up. My work involves in many hours research at times, and i was just thinking the other day. I am yet to meet a female patient that i work with that has not factually been sexually assaulted or has such strong delusions and hallucinations that it has really happened. With the later, it is even very difficult for professions to figure out if it has really happened or not. I also think because of my work i find it difficult to be angry at her, i can sort of understand the psychology behind her lies. Doesn't stop me being angry at the situation though


At least after Friday, or within the next 2 weeks we will have an end date with the trial date set.

Our next hurdle is how to tell our 13 year old . I have refrained from telling her, as there is no point yet and the FA still attends the same school as her until the end of the year.

Once again thank you xxx. And i will keep you all updated after the hearing

[aussieone]

Update

So Friday was the committal hearing/pretrial hearing.

Hubby coped very well, with a little help of some diazepam before we went in. He said the hardest part was seeing our middle daughter on the stand giving evidence, and found it hard not to break down in tears. She was having a difficult time coping with all of it the night before and finds it hard being out of her comfort zone.

It was heartbreaking not being able to be in the room myself to support my family as i was called as a witness too, and of course they made sure that i went last.

All in all our legal team said it was a very productive day. They were able to blow the forensic evidence ( saliva found on the inside of the dress) out of the water. The expert now say she is unable to confirm that it was infact saliva, who it belonged to, that is was indeed only on the inside of the dress and unable to confirm if it was a speck or a cupful. It is unclear if we can have it independantly tested, as i think the sample is now compromised due to extensive testing . I have to wait till we meet the legal team for further clarification. Considering the whole prosecution case is mainly based on this evidence, hopefully things are looking good. The legal team are now saying it's down to word against word.

It was horrible to see all the witnesses there, some of them my daughters friends from school. All these people caught in the FA web of lies, while she is protected from the law and does not have to give evidence.

Back to court on the 1st Oct for a directions hearing, with a estimated trial date set for SEPT 2014!!!!!. So we still have a long way to go yet, in the mean time, we will prepare the house for sale, and try get some stability back in our lifes, as there is not much else we can do but wait, and wait some more

[Casehardened]

It is good news that your legal team have managed to get the DNA 'evidence' disallowed; it did always seem to be clutching at straws to bolster a weak case.

But surely this:

All these people caught in the FA web of lies, while she is protected from the law and does not have to give evidence.

is not the case, or did you mean she did not have to be present or give evidence at the committal hearing only and will have to take the stand at the actual trial.

Having re-read your OP, it seems that if it is now only word against word there is ample opportunity for your barrister to trip her up during cross-examination (and hopefully he will be allowed by the judge to question her regarding the previous allegations she has made even though these were not reported)

[can it get worse]

Hi Aussieone,

Good to hear from you and to receive your update................ sounds like you had a positive day. Although to wait til Sep 14 is unbelievable. It is encouraging words from casehardened.

Best Wishes