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  • Please help

    Firstly we are in Australia, but any advice will be helpful

    We allowed our daughter to have a party at home, unfortunately there was some underage drinking, One girl who was very intoxicated jumped into our pool with her new iphone 4s. She had spent many months saving for this phone, and was devestaded that it was broken and blamed my daughter for it. She became hysterical as she fear her dad who she claims physically abuses her was going to kill her.

    During this time she could not be consolled and went outside. A while later, (while i was in bed) my husband answered the door to her soaking wet. He let her inside and and tried to get myself and my daughters and other friends to help but we all refused. My daughter did give him some clothes for her. He gave her the clothes to change into. she changed in the bathroom with the door closed. she came back to the lounge and my husband had prepared two armchairs together for her to sleep on, as she had soaked the sofa as she was wet.

    She hopped onto the chairs and went to sleep. During this entire time my teenage nephew was present and also assisting to help. After she had settled, they both retired to bed, my husband slept in our little ones room as she was in our bed, this is not uncommon for us. When we woke the next day she was gone, but had left myself and the party daughter facebook messages saying she was sorry for her behaviour. She also sent our oldest daughter messages blaming her for the phone issue.

    On this day she spent most of the day with the party daughter. After the party daughter left, she went to a mutal friends and claimed that my husband digitally and orally raped her. The mutal friend called my daughter and informed her of the allegations, my daughter then called me and informed me. I called the friend and told her that if the allegations were true she should tell the police.

    She kept refusing, so i told her i was going to tell her dad. She beat me to it, and proceed to the police. We at the police station 5 mins after her but were asked to leave until we were needed. My husband was called to the police station a few hours later to give a statement which he did, he also voluntary provided DNA. My self, my daughters and my nephew have also provided statements. 2 months on we still have not heard from the police, my husband was never charged, other people who were in the house at the time of the alleged offence have not been interviewed, nor have the people she first informed of the offence.

    On the night of the alleged offense she was seen giving a boy a "handjob". She has made these allegations against another girls father but it was not reported to the police, she has also stated she was the victim of rape by a male that did sexually assault another girl, but on further probing by friends she retracted the statement and it was consential.....My family is at breaking point...please help where do you think this is heading????
    Last edited by RFLH; 16 February 2012, 11:54 AM. Reason: edited to add paragraphs for easier reading

  • #2
    hi welcome to the forum.
    i can only assume after 2 months and nothing has happened that is a good thing for you and your family. reading between the lines i think she has done this to take the onus off her iphone problem with her dad . others will be along soon to give more advise. hope all goes well

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi There

      I am not sure how procedures in Australia differ from here in the UK, but in general, the fact that you have heard nothing could be seen as a good thing.
      I assume that the police must still be investigating but here in the UK, if your husband hadn't been arrested then he can't be charged.

      The fact that your husband hasn't been arrested must be a very positive sign
      This is clearly a very troubled and dangerous girl.
      If I were you, I would seek the advice of a solicitor, if you havent already and they in turn may then contact the police to find out where, if anywhere, this is going.

      Are you sure it wasn't already dropped?
      "Be sure your sin will find you out"

      Numbers 32:23

      Comment


      • #4
        So after 15 months of not a single word we get a call out the blue to say the investigation is still open. The police asked my husband to come down and pick up a copy of a warrant which extended the length of time they could keep his DNA. Now today they have rang and asked him to come in for another interview.
        We are both beside ourself!!! We haven't told anyone and have no one to turn too

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi,

          All I can say is that the police can hardly consider this allegation top of their priorities!

          As Faith mentioned, we are not really familiar with police procedures in Australia but I would surmise that someone has just noticed that this case is still open and needs tidying up. I guess the second interview is just part of this process prior to the whole matter being shoved off the police desk over to the Australian equivalent of the Prosecution Service.

          However I would suggest your husband still takes this interview seriously and responds to the questioning as previously; is it allowable to have a solicitor present? If so take this opportunity to select a recommended specialist to go along with him.
          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you for your reply

            I think the process in Aust is 1. gathering of statements and evidence. 2. A report is then given to a superior who decides if a person is to be charged or not.

            So off he went to the police station again today. The DNA is back. The report stated that there was DNA and saliva on her right breast. She now claims 15 months later that my husband kissed her breast where the DNA was found. There was no other discussion of confirmation of DNA found any where else.

            Considering she used a towel in mine and my husbands bathroom to dry herself is it possible that the saliva and DNA may have been transferred from the towel?

            My husband also handed her clean clothes from our daughters bedroom, could DNA and saliva be transferred from that?

            Im guessing if they had found DNA in her vagina or under my husbands nails they would have had enough evidence to press charges then and there?

            I have sought legal advice, a great solictor who was willing to give us some phone advice, and just suggested that my husband go down and see what they have to say.

            Comment


            • #7
              Not coping

              First of all we are in Australia, but any advice is appreciated.

              After 15 months of not hearing anything. The police decided to test the DNA. The result was they found my husbands saliva on my daughter's t-shirt that he gave the accuser to wear. She now claims after 15 months that he also kissed her in that area ( no mention of this prior to DNA results)

              My husband was interviewed again briefly but not arrested. He said most of the questions were related to our family dynamics - ie household chores ect.

              The officer now says she has to write a report and give it to her superior who will decide on the next course of action. ie - if he will be charged

              In the meantime, i am at the point where i cannot function. My mind is constantly consumed with what the outcome will be. I am constantly researching stats, evidence ect.

              I can't contact the local mental health services as i work within the service and well known

              Comment


              • #8
                I have taken the liberty of adding your new post onto your original thread as there is a significant connection

                Originally posted by aussieone View Post
                The DNA is back. The report stated that there was DNA and saliva on her right breast. She now claims 15 months later that my husband kissed her breast where the DNA was found.
                Originally posted by aussieone View Post
                The police decided to test the DNA. The result was they found my husbands saliva on my daughter's t-shirt that he gave the accuser to wear. She now claims after 15 months that he also kissed her in that area ( no mention of this prior to DNA results)
                Notwithstanding that procedures may be different in Australia there is a world of difference between these two results!

                There are several possible and logical explanations* for the presence of your husbands saliva on your daughters t-shirt as opposed to being found actually on the girl's breast (and even then it could be argued that this was due to transference after he gave it to her to put on)

                *Very likely this is why the detectives were enquiring about the household chores!
                Last edited by Casehardened; 25 March 2013, 06:34 AM.
                'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks for your reply.

                  Just for clarification. The Saliva was found on the inside of my daughters t-shirt that she was given to wear. No mention of it being on her body

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Just did a search for support groups in Australia

                    http://www.avoiceformen.com/a-voice-...wareness-week/

                    http://forums.avoiceformen.com/ forums relating to the above link

                    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                    http://www.parentalalienation.com.au/node/20

                    http://www.parentalalienation.com.au/forum forums relating to the above link
                    Last edited by Rights Fighter; 30 March 2013, 02:19 PM.
                    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hello aussieone,

                      Thank for your recent post for me....... I've been looking at your thread - how is your case going on? You've not posted on your thread for a long time???

                      I hope you have come to an end of your situation and the police could clearly identify your accusers lies.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi CGAW, Yes it has been a long time, The allegations were made in Dec 2011 but he was not charged until May 2013. There was saliva DNA found on the inside of the dress she was wearing. There a thousand reasons why the dna could be there, as the dress she was given to wear belonged to our daughter.

                        I visit the forum regularly, but rarely post.


                        We are meeting with our Sol and Barrister tomorrow, so the stress and anxiety levels are high again. Commital hearing is scheduled for early Sept, so still along way to go.

                        Like you, i have really bad days and really bad weeks, but i have to try and keep it together for my family, particularly my husband who is emotionally unstable. Seeing me upset makes him worse.

                        Word of advice, try not to research to much, every case is different, and you wont find the answers you are looking for. Been there done that, I am a control freak, and at the start would spend hours researching.

                        If you want a support person you are welcome to PM your email address, even though we are on different sides of the world we are going through similar nightmares, something only someone who has experienced can understand

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by aussieone View Post
                          Hi CGAW, Yes it has been a long time, The allegations were made in Dec 2011 but he was not charged until May 2013. There was saliva DNA found on the inside of the dress she was wearing. There a thousand reasons why the dna could be there, as the dress she was given to wear belonged to our daughter.
                          Hi aussieone, welcome back. Concerning the DNA .... I'm not an expert but have been reading how a child can have unequal genetic similarities with one parent or other. It might be worth getting an independant lab to genetically test your daughter and compare it to your husband's test (your sol may be able to advise). I don't know if DNA survives a wash cycle, though. Here's the link - it might be a translation so don't be surprised if you come across an odd word or two.

                          http://www.eupedia.com/forum/threads...her-and-father

                          Keep strong -

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by aussieone View Post
                            Hi CGAW, Yes it has been a long time, The allegations were made in Dec 2011 but he was not charged until May 2013. There was saliva DNA found on the inside of the dress she was wearing. There a thousand reasons why the dna could be there, as the dress she was given to wear belonged to our daughter.

                            I visit the forum regularly, but rarely post.


                            We are meeting with our Sol and Barrister tomorrow, so the stress and anxiety levels are high again. Commital hearing is scheduled for early Sept, so still along way to go.

                            Like you, i have really bad days and really bad weeks, but i have to try and keep it together for my family, particularly my husband who is emotionally unstable. Seeing me upset makes him worse.

                            Word of advice, try not to research to much, every case is different, and you wont find the answers you are looking for. Been there done that, I am a control freak, and at the start would spend hours researching.

                            If you want a support person you are welcome to PM your email address, even though we are on different sides of the world we are going through similar nightmares, something only someone who has experienced can understand

                            It is terrible that this is still ongoing for you. If I could fathom why it takes so long, it would make it slightly easier for us. It just seems there is no urgency while all these people are going thru' hell. I will be thinking of you today with your meetings and hope you get a good feeling with it.

                            I hate the fact that we have to accept we have bad days etc when all this is due to no fault of our own - it is the fault of some other vindictive person. I wonder if they can sleep at night?

                            I am still continually researching and feel it is my coping mechanism but get myself more upset as cannot find the answers or any cause for optimism. Many people are optimistic for us but I cannot seem to think that way. I feel like I'm in locked in a room with no chance of escape.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by can it get worse View Post
                              Hello aussieone,

                              Thank for your recent post for me....... I've been looking at your thread - how is your case going on? You've not posted on your thread for a long time???

                              I hope you have come to an end of your situation and the police could clearly identify your accusers lies.

                              I feel so sorry for you, sounds very serious I know exactly what your going through constant hell, I won my trial 1 week ago and I'm feeling very mentally unwell I'm so so so so TRAUMATISED I had to drink to numb the constant pain in my heart the trial , here in oz the police are under MASSIVE preassure that any person who says I was raped has to go to trial for political reasons and it's very very very serious , I hope you guys have a good barrister because that is all that matters now I will tell you now don't waste your time with a committal hearing its a big waste of time as the judge will be to afraid to throw out it out 95% of commital hearing don't work out save your money get a QC and make a deal like 50k-60k to get rid off this situation , there are some barristers that are so senior and respected they are telling the judge how they can't convict your husband because the dpp here are the biggest *******s and will try to convict him even if he may be completely innocent , look if you don't want to worry anymore and can afford it don't gamble with your husbands life pm me and I can put you in touch with Somone who might be able to wipe this mess out for you (ALLWAYS fix the rates with the legal team and you will be ok , pm me your phone number and what ever you do don't think this will go away ! In the polices eyes your husband is an evil rapist and the dpp love these cases all I can say is I have been through what you have been and I can help you save the family are you in sydney ?

                              Comment

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