So confused need help

[Rights Fighter]

oh sorry and how do i answer the question do i trust my husband.

My apologies - the question should include "how well do you know your husband?"

If this incident is completely out of character then that is what you say. You trust your husband, you know him well (because you have been married however many years) and that this was just a one-off.

If asked "how do you know that? How do you know that he's not done this before?" You answer, (if true), that nobody has EVER made such an allegation against him before, and (if true) he has never behaved towards you in that manner - "no" has always meant "no". And he of course, he confessed to you straight away.

If this was a regular pattern of behaviour then he would have told you, as he did on this occasion. And, (if true), he was really embarrassed and remorseful - if this was a regular occurrence he would not have been embarrassed or remorseful, more likely he would be making excuses and denying it.

[NOHOPE]

thank you you really are very helpful and appreciate all that you are saying

[NOHOPE]

sorry its me again. we have our first meeting with our solicitor on friday do i ask if he is experienced with doing false allegations cases and if he says no i should find another solicitor, and if he says yes am i in my rights to ask for facts and figures like how many cases how many have you won etc. also i want to ask him does he beleive my husband is innocent and if not then i dont want him to represent us as i beleive if he thinks he is innocent he will try harder for him. thanks again for all replies these are really helping us at the moment

[Saffron]

Monty, always remember that you are the solicitor's client and therefore you are entitled to ask as many questions as you want. I would certainly recommend that you ask for their track record in previous similar cases.
The issue of whether the sol believes him or not isn't necessarily relevant, although the chances are that the sol will "try harder" if they do believe in his innocence.
Good luck.

[Rights Fighter]

sorry its me again. we have our first meeting with our solicitor on friday do i ask if he is experienced with doing false allegations cases and if he says no i should find another solicitor, and if he says yes am i in my rights to ask for facts and figures like how many cases how many have you won etc. also i want to ask him does he beleive my husband is innocent and if not then i dont want him to represent us as i beleive if he thinks he is innocent he will try harder for him. thanks again for all replies these are really helping us at the moment

He's likely to say he is experienced even if he is not, as he wants the work! You are best researching him/the practice on the internet.

Defence sols are not paid to believe the client is innocent although some good ones WILL push the boat out that little bit extra if they genuinely do believe it is a false allegation.

[Amre]

Best of luck tomorrow for you both. Make sure you do ask as many questions as you need/want. You are employing him, not the other way about! Check him out online and ask him about his record. Take 10 mins before bed and write down in a list everything you need to find out. Bring the list with you and literately just work your way down it.
First you need to clarify the accusation. Has she accused him of rape? Or was it digital rape or sexual assault? Is she saying intercourse happened and was there a rape kit? Or are they both saying the same thing happened, only she didn't want him to touch her?
Its rare for potential rapist to stop at digital rape, if they have a chance and opportunity to digital rape someone then they generally rape them after.
This is a bad situation and i feel for you. Keep your chin up and make sure that if the sol advices your husband to plead guilty, dont do it. He will want to plead guilty, he will come to a point that he just wants it over and done with. A guilty plead starts to look pretty appealing after months of living a nightmare.
Bottom line, Don't let him say he did it, if he didn't. If he pleads not guilty and, god forbid, hes found guilty he can appeal it. He can fight it until he completely vindicates himself.

[NOHOPE]

thanks for all that and no they have both said same thing happenend but she didnt want it to but unbtil we see her statement we wont know the full made up **** she has said. my hubby has already said he knows this is going to be hard but there is no way on this earth he will plead guilty to something he has not done, but as you say after months of torture he may sway that way but i will not let him over my dead body will she wear us down for us to stop fighting and we will not stop fighting until she is found to be lying.

thanks again these replies small or big really do help i read for a few days before i bucked up the courage to write anything but im so glad i did.

[NOHOPE]

getting so scared of meeting solicitor tomorrow not know what to expect and the whole nightmare seeming real. think i was hoping it was all a dream up until this point, oh well another sleepless night for us.

[Saffron]

Good luck - let us know how you get on.

[NOHOPE]

visited solicitor today i had a few questions ready first have you dealt with similar cases before second do you think my husband is innocent i know some say it doesnt matter but to me it did, i asked the first question and his response was when your hubby came to see me before he got charged he came in gave me a full and fran acccount of what had happend that night and for some reason my gut feeling was this man is innocent but stupid for letting himself be put in that situation, i was so releived as i would like the person helping us to beleive he is innocent. he then went on to explain as much as he could as to the whole process from start to finish with different scenarios and also he gave us the worse case scenario and what could happen. he was in fact very shocked off my hubbys case as to why they even charged him in the first place and a few other little details i have told him re police but he was honest and said untill we get their statements we will need to wait and see. he also explained about the possibility of his name being in paper and he said if it is try t go about your normal business as much as possible and hold your head up high as you know you are innocent. i asked would we at any time be asked to plead guilty he said never as he is innocent so quite positive but we still know there are still going to be a lot of ups and downs but she has picked on the wrong couple as we will fight till the botter end. The next terrible stage for me is when we get to read her account i know this will bring it all back to me and im sure i will get upset and angry again but solicitor has said turn this into a positive and read line by line and you will be able to pick holes in it. had quite a good day today but feet still firmly on the ground we are not stupid and know this just wont go away

[NOHOPE]

going off my story does anyone know if the police will want mobiles and laptops or would they have already asked for these.
any advice
thanks

[Casehardened]

going off my story does anyone know if the police will want mobiles and laptops or would they have already asked for these.
any advice
thanks

If they wanted anything off them to submit to the CPS for a charging decision they would have seized them at the same time as the arrest took place (obviously to stop anything being wiped)

Needless to say, if there is anything helpful to him,the police will not be interested in doing this examination now.

On the other hand, if there is likely to be anything helpful to your husband's case in them, there is nothing to stop you having them professionally examined and submitting the transcripts as part of his case.

[NOHOPE]

hi i wonder if anyone could help, on the night in question i got a tex message from this person to say (hubbys name ) is a dead man now i have saved this text, but today when i have looked the name of person who text is still there but when i open the text there is no text in there you think this is my phone or something more sinister or is it just me being paranoid.

[RFLH]

I may be talking rubbish - but would the phone company be able to help you?

[NOHOPE]

yeh i suppose does it sound strange or like i said am i just being paranoid should of took a pic of it shouldnt i