falsely accused. need help

[macdougal]

Viva, unfortunately mate thats it. Its all done. Unless she admits she lied or theres solid proof she lied theres nothing can be done.
I feel exactly the same as you and its been two months.
I hear stories about this girl all the time. She's now engaged and seemingly very happy whilst Im still trying to rebuild my life.
I feel for you more so though as youve had to leave your home and things behind. Its not easy mate but youve got to try and get on with things

[Saffron]

Hi Viva (and MacDougal)

Sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm afraid to say that I still have the occasional dark day, 7 years on. It does get easier, but you should try to think of some coping mechanisms. Go and see your doctor, if you haven't already, and explain the situation. Your GP will be surprisingly understanding.

You have to try to let go of your anger, or it will consume your life. I firmly believe that we reap what we sow (karma) which means that "our" accusers will get their come-uppance one day. Just because people appear to be happy doesn't necessarily mean that they are.

In the meantime, hold your heads high. These people tried to destroy your lives - gave it their best shot in fact - and failed. Survival is the best form of revenge. If the anger swallows you, they have won.

Stay strong

[0990]

i felt the same , but the in what ive seen unless the person who made the false allegations against you admits she lied the police fail to follow it up.
I still have this concern , if i need a crc check for any career move the whole mess shows up once again

[Casehardened]

As LS has posted on the 'Hope for the Future' thread there seems to be a little more kindness emanating from this incoming Government (Harrier Harman has a lot to answer for)

I am certain that either David or Nick said that they were going to look again at the issue of retaining the DNA of innocent folk, i.e. those not convicted.

Hopefully once this is achieved the next stage to press for will removing the arrest details for those not charged with any offence.

[viva]

Hi again, life is getting better for me since my all clear,
We are all setteling in well in our new life, even though there are still a few things i wish were different:- (my wifes not speakin to her mum,dad or sisters)
Also i would like to go back home to visit certain people but stillo feel as if it would be awkward for me to do so as ive been told that people back home have not been told the truth, iv heard that "her" family have said i was charged with certain offences but it was them that dropped the case as there daughter had been through enough n that im still under watch by the police and have been put on the sex offenders list, i was fuming!!!
Ive not had a letter or anything from the police since and was understanding they would be sending me some kind of letter.
Just want to know is there anything i can request to show the real outcome so i can put people stright?
THANKS AGAIN

[Rights Fighter]

Also i would like to go back home to visit certain people but stillo feel as if it would be awkward for me to do so as ive been told that people back home have not been told the truth, iv heard that "her" family have said i was charged with certain offences but it was them that dropped the case as there daughter had been through enough n that im still under watch by the police and have been put on the sex offenders list, i was fuming!!!

Where did you hear this and can you get this put into proper statement form? As you were NFA'd that means that the matter could be resurrected if "fresh evidence" comes to light. If the accusers rope in other "witnesses" then that could happen.

I have to say that this is most unlikely BUT if it does, this evidence would be crucial for your defence. However, it must come from a credible source and stand up to scrutiny.

FACT: One cannot be put on the SOR unless convicted or cautioned. In fact I am not 100% about cautioned.

[Casehardened]

Ive not had a letter or anything from the police since and was understanding they would be sending me some kind of letter.
Just want to know is there anything i can request to show the real outcome so i can put people stright?

Hi again Viva,

You should have had a notice from the police saying that you are being NFA'd and setting out the reasons (though this consists of ticking one of three check boxes)

I would say it it a very grudging sort of notice and hardly the sort of thing you would want to show around, especially as it emphasises exactly what you were arrested for

If you wanted something better it might be worth having a moan to the Chief Constable and using his reply, however it might be better to accept that, sadly and unfortunately, this situation does split families up (just consider that you could probably never feel comfortable being alone with your sister-in-law in the future, or have her stay, & it wouldn't be advisable anyway)

[Saffron]

Hi Viva

the family's lies are classic behaviour. The case was NFA'd, so in order to maintain some shred of credibility, they will tell anyone who will listen that it was their decision to drop the case. Sadly there is not much you can do about this, apart from gathering statements as RF said, should this matter raise its ugly head again.

I'm glad to hear you are settling in to yoour new life. I understand that there are some people you would like to see again. If it is too painful or uncomfortable for you to go and see them, why not invite them to come and visit you?

Best wishes

[viva]

Ive not posted for a while as ive been in a bit of a bad patch, got really depressed and down to the point i started to loose it and contemplated comitting suicide, i finished work at 7am and didnt go home just walked n walked until i reached the sea where i stood on the cliff top and was seconds from going over when an old guy sat beside me and said i looked troubled, he walked off saying just remember when ur gone yes u feel no pain but you never feel the love again. then i saw a young couple walking along with their disabled sun who was laughing so loud,
This all made me think did i really want to do this...yes but i wasnt going to
i was going to beat this and not let it win.
im seeing a counceller and things are goin o.k.
all my family are being supportive and helpful.
so here it is onwards and upwards....I HOPE

[gareth589]

Really glad to see that you have posted, i to sat in my van with the hosepipe in and started to do it, I caught a glimpse of my baby on my key ring and felt like i wanted to see her grow up.

Keep your spirit up, I still worry daily and feel that I will be going to Prison for a crime I did not, But i live in hope that a Judge and Jury will see this case for what it is, not what the Police Think

[0990]

just take it one day at a time , it does get better , 4 months on for me and cosidering where i was and how close i came to court .
i refuse to let it beat me . you will get through it

[Saffron]

Viva, Gareth and 0990, I have never met you or had any impact on your lives, so I have no real right to be proud of you....but I AM very proud of you. To look despair in the face and then turn away takes a very courageous person indeed.

It sounds completely unbelievable, but if you stick with it, one day you will look back and think "I am GLAD I didn't do that because I have a lot to offer."

Well done chaps. The road we are forced to walk is a tough and frightening one. But you, collectively and individually can do it. You can make it to that lamp post, even though the bags you are carrying feel so heavy. And once you make it to the first lamp post you can take a breather and then make it to the next lamp post, and the next and the next, until you get home.

You CAN do this.

[0990]

Saffron I first sent you a message early part of the year just when I had been rebailed for rape , I really thought it would go to trail , my ex put on such I good show for the police ! And I really thought my life was over
At this time I was at my lowest ebb, without you replying I wouldn’t have been brave enough to post anything. Thanks again.
I just hope I can help someone else who’s going through it

[friday]

0990-you will never know just how many people you have helped. the people that post are only the tip of the iceberg and so many people who are struggling to cope will be reading your posts and getting strength from your strength.