Bit of a meltdown.

[RFLH]

blow that for a game of soldiers Amre!

You're fine a you are, I think we're all a bit barking one way or another - I know I am!

[Amre]

Thank you very much everyone.
I can cope with most things, just not the mental manifestation of depression. Im so frightant that i will lose my mind and go off the deep end again. You have all really helped, I generally don't open my mouth about how im feeling to anyone. Im the one that says sorry when people bump into me on the bus. Its November. This year is almost done.

Apparently my application was refused by the forgen legion, they don't take women and unless im willing to play out an odd Shakespearean movie plot where i bind my breasts, shave my head and pretend to be a man for the next 5 years im outa luck.

Have sent word to Johnny. I await his swift reply. Will keep you all posted.

[RFLH]

what a nice post -

[sickasaparrot]

Amre,

Only just found this thread, so apologies for not posting sooner!

Man, You've been through it!!

However,

In my hour of need, when I was trying to make sense of what had happened, when I asked questions, when I needed answers, when I needed help, when I needed a virtual friend...

You answered.
A bit of an angel , offering some insights which helped preserve my sanity.
As RF said - a Brave post!

Thank you for what you did - you are a good person so don't ever forget that.
Rememeber who you are and what you stand for.

You have touched my life and I will never forget that - Thank you!

[Saffron]

Hang in there Amre. Sometimes we all need to stop, take a look back and realise how far we have come.
It's good to hear you focusing on the positives in your life. Ignore the rest.
Sorry to hear about the divorce. Still, at least it means you'll be free for Johnny Depp....
Sending you cyber hugs x

[RFLH]

no - don't do that - you may forget to come back!

[Amre]

Thanks xxxxx, im holding it together for my son. But next year better be ok or ill run away and join the foreign legion

[RFLH]

Amre - you're still here and still posting - so good on you.

It does seem you've had one hell of a year and for that I's sincerely sorry and I hope that your life will take an upturn soon.

You have your son and family - concentrate them and ignore the others, they really aren't worth one second of your thoughts at all.

We're here for you.

[Amre]

What a year. Highlights include: hospitalized for two weeks with a bad case of crazy-****er-itous.
Infection in my foot that destroyed most the previous surgery, one ****ing ulcer undid the bone structure, the metal work and landed me in hospital. Now it hurts constantly and the decision to amputate some of it is the best news I’ve had all year.
The doctors now think I have a more volatile from of bi-polar and attribute my case of crazy-****er-itous to mania. I’m on tablets now that have a chance of inducing mania and the treatment I’ve been getting from I was 21 may well off been making my bi-polar worse.
The man that raped me when I was 21 has now served his jail sentence and his probationary element and is free, without condition. 8 years should mean 8 years, not 3 and a half. Haven’t clapped eyes on him in years, but last month I seen him a total of three times.
I now have to leave my nice safe upstairs flat and security door because I cant take the stairs with my foot.
Over three months ago my husband moved out and now we are jointly applying for a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences
Sometimes I think im the butt of some universal punk and someone will jump out an say “OMG did you see the **** we put you through? It was so epic!”
I tell myself it could be worse, but how? How could it be worse?
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
I have so much good in my life too, and this **** just makes me appreciate what I do have. My son is perfect and my family are very supportive. I have it better than most humans. Its just so relentless and the pain is constant. I think i just need a break.