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What's the best way to go about reporting him to the police? How did you do it?

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  • #16
    i only have good things to say about my experience with the police. when i first reported i just walked into a police station and there was no woman on duty so rather than come back (which i feared i may not if i left) i simply told him i wanted to report "a thing a man did when i didn't want him to". though not enough to charge him on it was enough for him to contact the team that dealt with allegations of that sort.

    have you ever said the words out loud? if you find it difficult you could practice saying them in your room so it gets easier (though it never becomes easy, in my experience). maybe write down everything you remember so you have an idea what you want to say, although the police officer will go through everything with you. most likely in chronological order. maybe with an overview first then filling in details. you can have as many breaks as you need, just ask and the police officer will ask you if you need a break too, they are very good at sensing when you are struggling.

    take names, addresses etc of anyone who can help your case (teachers, doctors, friends, family etc) anyone who may have seen evidence of what you are reporting or heard him admit it (highly unlikely but you never know).

    take details of anything that can corroborate your story (did you go to a gp/gum clinic for sti/pregnancy tests/injuries...)

    you can request conditions such as him not being allowed to go to certain streets/areas (even if he works/lives there). the police want to protect you.

    do any of your friends know about what happened? could someone go with you to the police station? if you don't want them to/don't want to tell anyone could you arrange to meet a friend for coffee after (you don't have to tell them where you have been) or go stay at a friend/relative's house for a few days?

    i'm not sure how old you are and that might make a big difference but if you were really concerned about repercussions could you move? even moving a small distance may make you feel safer as he won't know where you live. but of course you may then feel like he has won again (there is no shame in moving to make yourself feel safer. the police actually tried to help me move as they were concerned about my safety).

    ok, i am rambling. have a look at this website for more info:
    http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/pdfs...%204%20web.pdf

    x
    Last edited by friday; 5 February 2010, 05:22 AM.
    "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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    • #17
      Thanks Friday, excellent advice.
      Seble, I am thinking of you.

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      • #18
        thanks Friday.

        Hope you're ok Seble.
        And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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