What's the best way to go about reporting him to the police? How did you do it?

[seble]

I am thinking of reporting him to the police but just don’t know where to start, I don’t even know if I will be able to talk yet or if I will just freeze up but would really like to get this man out of my life. As he has ruined most of it already.

What's the best way to do this - do I call them first or should I just walk into the police station. What would there reaction be? I just don’t know what to expect or what will happen after I have told them. I am so scared about doing it but know I need to if I want it to stop happening.
What if I get there and cannot talk about it - would they say I am wasting there time? I dont want to go through all this and at the end of it he gets away with it. What proof will they need for something to be done?

[RFLH]

Well done Seble!!

You are talking like a survivor and not a victim!

If you can't say the words, write it down and hand the note over, ask for a woman officer if that would make you feel more comfortable.

Please do it!

They will take care of you, don't worry. Be brave I know you can do this.

[seble]

Thanks, I do want to do this. Just hope I can.
Just need to find the right time as I need to find someone to look after my little boy.

What will happen after I have handed the letter over?

[RFLH]

They'll more than likely take you so the soft suite and question you there. It's not all that scary. They are there to help you. It may take a little time so be patient.

You can do this, you'll feel so much better afterwards and you can move on.

[Saffron]

This is great news! Well done Seble! I think you will be surprised at how gently the police treat you. As RFLH says, you can write a note and this could actually be more powerful than saying the words.

As for what would happen - well, I can't help you there. But if you do report this...well, I hesitate to call him a MAN, but...person, then at least you know that if it Does come to nothing, a future allegation will be treated with the utmost seriousness.

It must be hard, but you CAN do it. Thinking of you x

[seble]

I need to know if something will be done about it before I go as I am too scared of what he might do if I tell the police and he gets away with it.
Also I cannot let my family find out what's been happening all these years, I dont want them to hate me.

[RFLH]

his bail conditions will be that he has to keep away from you, if he breaks them then he will be arrested for it, all you'd have to do is phone the police and tell them he'd tried to approach or speak to you.

I'm sure that your family will understand why you've done it - they wouldn't want this to be happening to you.

This is your life, and your family's, you must take control over it and get the man out of your life for good.

[seble]

Thank you this has really helped reasurred me a bit that something will be done. I will try and go sometime within the next week or so. I just dont want things to get any worse than they are now.

[RFLH]

We'll be with you Seble, keep coming back for reassurance and we'll send you the strength.

You are one strong lady.

[seble]

Thanks, I wish I did feel strong now but I dont. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Do you think I will be able to report him without anyone else finding out?

[seble]

Do you know how soon they would speak to him after me going to the police station?

[Saffron]

I suspect it will be difficult to keep this a secret from immediate family as he is your stepdad, but as the complainant, you are entitled to absolute anonymity in terms of the press.
Unfortunately I don't know how long it will take between your report and his arrest. Sometimes it happens immediately and sometimes it take a few days. However, if you explain that you are scared of bumping into him, thye will act very quickly. Once you have reported it, make sure you stay well clear of him - don't respond to any messages from him, don't answer any calls and keep well away in terms of location. As RFLH says, part of his bail conditions will be that he cannot approach you in any way, so once he has been arrested you can relax a bit. If he does try to contact you, save any messages and report them to to the police at once.

You can do this. Stay strong.

[RFLH]

we're walking with you Seble.

[seble]

He is not with my mum anymore but he does call round every couple of weeks to visit her and my brother. So hopefully as long as he does not tell them they should not find out?
I thought that once I report it I could maybe get away for a few days somewhere just so it gives them time to sort things out and speak to him and I dont have to worry about him coming to see me.
I just need to feel confident enough to know something can be done about it as I could not bare it if nothing was done about him as it would make things worse as he would know he has won and he would be free to get away with it again. As if they dont believe me the first time they wont the second time.

[RFLH]

He won't be allowed to go anywhere near you. If he's not with your mum now then it really doesn't matter.

Go and do it!