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Falsely Accused by Daughter

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  • Falsely Accused by Daughter

    Hi Folks

    I've been visiting this forum now for the past couple of weeks reading some of the accounts of others. I've finally plucked up the courage to make a post.

    About 4 weeks ago I was voluntarily picked up by the police and interviewed under caution for a possible of 2 offences against my daughter. I was interviewed for the 2 charges of either sexual assault or rape against my daughter. Sounds confusing I know but this situation has a lot to it.

    A bit of history:

    In a nutshell as quick as I can basically in between 2000 and 2008 my 3 children lived with their mother (She left me in 2000 because I wouldn't allow her alcoholic wife beating father around the kids). There were numerous incidents of Social Service involvement with my family during this period due to the mother's inability to cope due to depression and alcoholism. My kids ended up at one point on the child protection register. In 2008 my ex called me saying she was in the process of committing suicide and that I should look after the kids. I immediately rendered help to the mother of my kids and subsequently found out this was the 8th time she had done this (apparently looking for help from the Social Services or others). After years of nightmares with the kids and access I decided that my kids needed a better sustainable life. I went through a long court case (19 months) to the tune of £16K to obtain sole care and in the meantime ensured the ex received the best possible support to get her back on her feet.

    I won the court case after numerous investigations etc as family courts go and became the sole carer for my children. I allowed access to mum every other weekend and shared holidays as this was very important to me that my kids had this access and contact. We were all happy or so it seemed. About 2 years went past the kids were doing fantastic at school I was so proud. Then in 2011 things started going sour. My children's attitudes started to change, they became rebellious and hurtful. I eventually found out why when I received a solicitors letter from my ex-wife stating that now the kids were of age of decision they no longer wanted to be in my care and were starting legal action to return to their mother. To say they made my life hell over that period would be an understatement.

    The kids got their way and returned to their mother and broke all contact and ties with me from Sep 2011. My heart was broken and I became a broken man dropping into depression requiring medical intervention. I'd done so much and had become exhausted and for that reason I imagine I fell off my carriage so to speak.

    My kids have never spoken to me since except through facebook to hurl abuse at me and to request I give up my parental responsibility to them so their mothers new husband can adopt them, I politely refused.

    Over the last year I've been picking up the pieces of my life and trying to make something of it again knowing that my kids want no part of me. I was doing well until I was picked up by the police. My daughter has accused me in 1 incident of either sexual assault or rape. According to the police she gave 2 differing statements relating to the same event or time period. Everything that I am was brought into question I have never felt so defiled

    These events she speaks of never occurred and due to differing statements shows her accountability of honesty but needless to say this is tearing me apart. I sit up at night crying my heart out and am finding things hard at the minute. My new girlfriend has been a rock as has my family but it doesn't stop the pain of what is. I have been a law abiding person all my life and tried to do what is right all the time.

    I've since the events employed a barrister but am still waiting to hear how the CPS want to proceed and it's killing me even though I know I stand on truth I have no faith in the system of things especially in the light of recent news events.

    Sorry it's longish (really shortened down though as it can actually go on for pages) but I needed to vent and feel this is a good way to get off my chest. I have become afraid.

  • #2
    Hi and welcome to the forum but sorry you had to find us. This is one of the saddest posts I have read.....it has been a truly awful time for you. I can't give you any legal advice as I'm only 3 months in myself, (except to say don't say anything to the police without a solicitor with you) but there are plenty of members here who can. You will also get emotional support and advice too. The emotions you are feeling are normal in these situations especially with the feelings of betrayal you must be experiencing. Keep reading and keep posting and asking for advice, and members will be along to help you......
    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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    • #3
      feelingsad

      Sorry you have needed to come here but you will get support.

      I like you were accused back in 2011 by my then 16 year old daughter.
      I thought the absolute world of her as most dads do.
      I do understand how you feel as I am nothing like the man I was before as I feel it has killed my soal.
      But you will get through this and I hope you can move on with your life.

      Take Care

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      • #4
        Hi Feelingsad, I too, welcome you to the forum. I have no answers for you, but I know many people on here will come along and give you very good advice. Its early days yet, this must be driven by the mother? You must be feeling so low at the moment, people on here can make you see that you are not the only person going through this and can give you so much help and advice. You sound like a very caring and loving father x

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        • #5
          Hi, just wanted to say hello

          For once I don't feel that there is any advice I can offer. You have done everything correctly and tried to do the best for all your family yet still been kicked in the teeth and found that all your efforts were in vain.

          At least we can offer support and understanding as you work through the process
          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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          • #6
            Hi Again

            Just wanted to say thanks for all your kind words of encouragement. I'll keep visiting and letting you know how things progress.

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            • #7
              Hi feelingsad and welcome to the forum that none of us expect or want to need.

              I'm also being falsely accused of harming my daughter, only just 9 though. It's still very early days for me too and I struggle to get through most days. The support and advice on here is amazing though and I don't think I'd still be here without it, despite strong support from family and friends. They know and believe that the allegations are untrue, but they have never experienced the sheer horror and terror of being accused of such things.

              You will get so much assistance here to keep going , so keep coming back even when you want to bury your head in the sand and cry. Take care and stay strong, as people keep telling me. BN
              Last edited by Casehardened; 20 February 2013, 05:11 AM. Reason: corrected typo for OP

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              • #8
                The support and advice on here is axing though


                Please read AMAZING, not axing!! BN

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                • #9
                  Hi & Welcome, Can't add anything to the advice you have been given but you do have our our support, LP
                  Together We Can Beat This Hell

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                  • #10
                    Hi Folks

                    Just thought I'd let you know of an update today. I heard from my barrister who said he'd spoken to the police and they said that they weren't forwarding the case to the CPS due to inconsistency in statements, instead they are going to have an internal review with their Chief Inspector to decide whether they will proceed for prosecution so I have another few weeks to wait for an outcome.

                    I suppose in a way this is good news but I'm not out of the woods yet.

                    Thanks to all for words of encouragement and bluenikky maybe we can help support each other in these terrible times seeing our circumstance seems to be closely related.

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                    • #11
                      Hi - hopefully the fact the police are reviewing the "evidence" again themselves is a good sign - I'm sure someone onhere who has comeout the other side will be able to say more.......fingers crossed
                      "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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                      • #12
                        Hi...This happened to us too, our oic said a few times that she was going to put it to
                        the inspector for review....in hubbies case it was good news we got no case to answer.
                        Be prepared for it to drag on for a while though, it took a further couple of months for the review
                        to be completed. Hope this is a positive for you ! LP
                        Together We Can Beat This Hell

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                        • #13
                          Hi feelingsad

                          Sorry I'm having to contact you, for both of our sakes and our families and friends.

                          I've no real knowledge to share yet, as my nightmare is only just beginning too. I guess that you've had a glance at my thread. The most recent updates are on a 'locked-down' forum at PAFAA, but please feel free to call me if you need to talk.

                          I'm petrified and exhausted, but manage to talk about things sometimes to some people. I intend to try to get to work at last tomorrow, but please feel free to PM me back.

                          I've spent most of this afternoon in police station being interviewed and saying "no comment" hundreds of times, despite wanting to scream my answers to the questions. It is awful, but thanks to the support and advice on forums and from friends and family and sol, I kind of made it through.

                          Take care and maybe speak soon, or PM me. All best wishes, BN

                          p.s. I tried to PM you, but guess is too early for your account - If a mod agrees OK, I'm happy for my mob to be passed on or for you to PM me. Best wishes, BN.

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                          • #14
                            Bluenikky
                            If you want to pass you mobile number to one of us Mods we can get it to Feelingsad.
                            Thanks for offering such great support.
                            S x

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                            • #15
                              Saffron I'm prepared to accept bluenikkys request and if we can help each other this I can only think would be a good thing.

                              Bluenikky if you want to pass the information to Saffron I'll call you and see how we can help each other through these times.

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