Accused of raping my daughter

[Boys don't cry]

Can't figure how to edit my last post, but I've re-instated the CS payment for now, as a precaution!

Welcome to the forum.

It wouldn't disturb your ex much more than this and she would only have to contact the CSA.
The CSA would then contact your employer and the money would be taken straight away from your wage.

You have been wise to reinstall your payements because if your ex have something against you,it could make your situation worse.
She would probably be pleased to accuse you for letting your daughter down (financially) and bring you to court for this as well.

You have been given excellent advice by everyone.
You stated that your mother sometimes was present but would there be other potential witnesses who could testify for you?

[just married]

The editing option only remains open for 20 minutes after posting... often frustrating, trying to beat the clock when trying to edit what you really want to say.
I think it's very wise to have reinstated your payments.

I sometimes ponder CH's posts, and consider that despite all this, the age of chivalry is not quite dead.

Way in the future, BN, (time does, to a certain extent, heal) you will look back on your role throughout this ordeal, and it will be a beacon of not only your own belief in yourself, but those around you too. Your family, and those who would look up to you.

Stay strong....

unfortunately, it's the system that's at fault, but I don't think anyone can figure a perfect system

[Bluenikky68]

Thank you once again everybody for advice and support.

You have been wise to reinstall your payements because if your ex have something against you,it could make your situation worse.
She would probably be pleased to accuse you for letting your daughter down (financially) and bring you to court for this as well.
You have been given excellent advice by everyone.
You stated that your mother sometimes was present but would there be other potential witnesses who could testify for you?

@BDC, Thanks for confirming what I considered in a calmer moment. Struggled to reinstate the standing order, as my bank sends acceptance codes to my confiscated phone number; maybe life was simpler without technology, though I wouldn't be on here if that was true!
My daughter has been with me when other family members present or on visits to them, but I live far(ish) from family and on the occasions she is with me alone (more-or-less every other weekend last couple of years) I have always tended to keep it just me and her so she had 100% my attention, rather than have friends of mine detract from our time together. I don't have many friends that have children for her to play with.

Regarding testimony, friends and work colleagues know how much she means to me and the effect on my physical and emotional health in the past couple of months that I've had no contact. I'm wary to detail on here, but timing of mails, texts etc all suggest that each escalated claim has been in response to failure of the previous to have a desired effect.

As you say though, I have already received amazing advice and support here in these very early days and can only hope that .......

BN

[worriedandconcerned]

Bluenikky68

My daughter made an allegation to the school in March 2011 and I was acquitted last July of all charges so stay positive.
I now see my daughter once a week (Supervised) and yes it is bloody hard but you will get through it.
Please make sure though that you get a good solicitor and barrister as this is vital.

[myhome]

Hi bluenikky68 and welcome to the forum but so sorry you had to find us.

You've been given loads of great advice already, which I can't add a great deal to. Though I will agree with JM that you will feel a huge rollercoaster of emotions, and probably some you never even knew existed. If you need emotional support then your GP should be a first port of call. Many surgeries have counsellors attached to them now. They can help you begin to make sense of your feelings.... You will get great support on here as we all have - and put away your suicidal thoughts. You're innocent so there is no need - it is an immediate answer to pain but is very final.People will say, "So he was guilty then..." and when all this is over, you'd never see your daughter again and she'd grow up without her Dad.... in the meantime here's from a female who's been FA'd!!!! Keep strong....

[Casehardened]

Can't figure how to edit my last post, but I've re-instated the CS payment for now, as a precaution!

editing is only possible for 20 minutes then your words are set in stone (unless you ask one of the mods ) however its all clear.

BTW it's great to hear [read] the change of tone in you; the mutual support of forum members is a wonderful thing and thank you for taking the time,in the midst of your worries, to support others

[Saffron]

Hi Bluenikky
I can't add anyting to the excellent advice you have already been given, but I wanted to say Welcome

[Bluenikky68]

Hi everyone. I haven't been on here as much as I should be as been looking at the other forum and generally feeling awful. Maybe the shock wearing off, or maybe this is how my life will feel from now on.

I'm not fit to go to work today, so am hoping to spend some time on the forums to learn more and to try and help others wher I feel I can. Thank you all. x

[Bluenikky68]

Hi. Got a call from my sol this morning saying the OIC wants to bring my bail date/ interview forward from 02 April to next Wednesday. I didn't think to ask him if good or bad, but I'm now thinking that it must be bad news and that they intend to charge me ASAP. Does anybody have any experience of this, as I'm shaking and panicking again today after feeling a bit better this morning till he rang. I haven't actually been interviewd yet, as I was in too bad a state when was arrested and heard the accusations. Thanks.

[Faith]

Perhaps they are brining the bail date forward to interview you

Unfortunately no one can answer your question or give you any definitive answer as to what is going to happen. You should ask your solicitor to try and find out from the OIC what is likely to happen on Wednesday

[Bluenikky68]

Thank you Faith. I'm waiting for him to call again to confirm the change and will remember to ask him then, BN

[feelingsad]

BlueNikky,

Stay strong my friend it doesn't necessarily mean they want to charge you but want to follow up on a line of investigation. Check with your barrister/solicitor to what their views are on this situation. Being an ex military policeman I have a bit of an understanding with these situations but don't take that as red that I understand as how the police service works today especially in civil life. As you well know my experience has brought me to my knees but if we stand on truth we must place our investment in that knowing that the system will prove us correct. Hope your feeling stronger in these times

[Bluenikky68]

Have moved my nightmare updates to PAFAA forum for obvious reasons. I'll stay on this one too to help and support where and when I can.
Bless you all for the support and advice, as this site is so crucial.
BN x.

[Bluenikky68]

Hi all you beautiful people! smiley: smile

Am feeling slightly better each day at moment and have managed 3 full days at work! Yay, (??)! We'll see how long it lasts, but I'll take each OK day as a bonus compared to last week again, even if I 'expect' it not to last. Some friends have said that it's a negative attitude, but I just tell and respond that "I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst".

On that note, sorry, but ....... Worst case scenario, if charged, trialled and convicted, where do I find all of the necessary paperwork to give Power of Attorney to someone for my finances, property, car, health etc?? I've scouted around the forums and Google, but not found anything that talks about this. Have I missed a thread somewhere (or should there be a sticky?) or can anbody advise?

This nightmare seems to be neverending, although not fully begun yet.

Thank you to all of you on here for your advice, support and prayers, but also a big thank you to my family, friends and total strangers that are supporting me from their faiths/ churches (where applicable) that are praying for me, my daughter and my parents. The support that I and they are receiving from all of you is truly amazing and appreciated.

BN x <hugs, love & best wishes to you all>

[RFLH]

here you go

http://www.lawdepot.co.uk/contracts/...FePHtAodIhwAyQ


longer than I thought!