How do I move on?

[Denise]

Congrats Faith sorry I missed your news !

We're still waiting to hear from CPS

they just keep asking for more and more info, I've got videos and photos ready for them spanning over 4 years

I've gone through miscarriages, stillbirth, divorce, death of a much loved parent, medical negligence......

But I can honestly say, without brushing over my past which has been very difficult to go through each one, I could justify each trauma somewhat

This one I can't ...........

Xx

[Mumsinastate]

Still trying to come to turns with it I still find myself crying at will and feel like I'm living in a strange world I still keep waiting for the police to turn up I'm so paranoid it's not funny how can these girls get away with it xx

[Denise]

Still trying to come to turns with it I still find myself crying at will and feel like I'm living in a strange world I still keep waiting for the police to turn up I'm so paranoid it's not funny how can these girls get away with it xx

I understand completely
Browneyedgirl made a comment the other day that if they get an NFA she's worried they will do something else to get them into trouble

I'm elated at our decision but I have to say I think it will be a long time before I can fully relax and put the last 5 months behind us

Xx

[lawlessone2009]

Yeah, there's also a chance that someone related or friendly with the false accuser decides to take up the crusade (as they see it) and set you up for another fall and the Police and CPS might not see sense the next time.

Sad fact of life these days and a sign of the times that we are now living in in the aftermath of a poorly led Labour government. The LibCons will only continue the beaten path as politics has ran out of steam and purpose especially after Thatcher decided to destroy the country all those years ago.

I believe a lot of the issues lie with the compensation culture and public awareness of that culture. I don't know too many ways to earn thousands of pounds in a short while with no effort, other than to make a false accusation. Once one false accuser gets a pocket full of cash it doesn't take too long for the network to build up and the word to spread.

Heaven help us if it becomes as widespread as the 'whiplash' claims. The population will decrease drastically as man won't go near woman for fear of being banged up and his life ruined. Men have already stopped donating sperm due to the crazy laws brought in a few years ago so heaven only knows how woman are going to get pregnant and so carry on the evolutionary process.

Maybe all the New World Order nonsense is simply a smoke screen for a divide and conquer of mankind by literally seperating man and woman through law? Maybe with enough control we can submit entirely to 'the state' and apply for 'pregnancy licences' (at great monetary cost of course!) which would entitle a man and a woman to have sex without the state intervening and jailing everyone?

[Casehardened]

I agree with much that Lawlessone has said.

Being falsely accursed, even if NFA'd, is a life sentence in the sense that the experience can never be forgotten though it will get much less painful with time.

In fact it should never be forgotten as the falsely accused must, as I've written elsewhere, tread on eggs around women for the rest of his life (or until the law changes) as the arrest will remain on record (under present legislation)

If another accusation, unrelated to the first one, is made, it will be looked at much more closely and it is not impossible that the original one will be also dug out again.

Sorry to be such a misery; I don't want to take anything away from the recent good news that many members have had which seems to show that the justice system is at last waking up to what is actually going on

[Denise]

I agree with both of you

I have become somewhat of a dictator lately regarding men v sex

I met up with my son and friend while they were celebrating his 'freedom' last night and wasn't my usual self

I now look at youngsters ( only because this happened to my son but I know it's all ages
) and think "are you capable of crying rape?" or look at a lad and wonder"I hope you know that girl well you're hitting on because you could end up in prison"

I was giving my sons friends a lecture retelling some stories from here and he said my son had already told him how easy it is to be caught up in this system

I thought thank god my son has listened to me and now forearming his friends

But I'm still going to worry that one day he picks the wrong girl

It's a very sad and destructive craze that's hit our country

My youngest son ended his statement with the words to the effect of @3 girls cried rape at the school he's just finished and he fears this is the latest craze xx

[RFLH]

it is, everyone goes through it and it will take a while beore your emotions stop swinging wildly from up to down - go with it and when it gets too bad - think happy thoughts!

[lawlessone2009]

On a personal level the emotions will definitely settle with time it's just the damage that's done to the thought processes that will last. You will become over sensitive to the word 'rape'. You will notice it whenever it is said be it in company or on the news. If it is in company then you could become paranoid believing that it is only being discussed as whoever is discussing it knows about your situation or is trying to put you down/have a dig.

On a wider scale the damage done to society will be irreversible once this truly becomes mainstream. The more that are involved the more will become involved. The justice system are spending a lot of money training 'professionals' to investigate and prosecute individuals, the criminal injuries are paying out big compensation, females are being clearly informed what rape is but possibly not what the consequences are for all involved if her interpretation is incorrect or malicious.

Men are also being informed clearly what rape is.

This can only be a bonus for all involved once we get over the initial phasing in period as nobody should have to suffer the horrors involved be it rape or a false accusation. The clearer definitions may make prosecutions easier but, as was typical under Labour, some areas are too vague whilst others are too draconian and widely open to mis-interpretation or *******isation to suit prosecutors needs.

Driving law by 'targets' is one of the biggest mistakes I have noticed. It simply doesn't work and does not solve the underlying issues.

I can only surmise that the latest series of NFAs are the result of a build up of experience and ability to identify those cases which are most likely false. I could also imagine that there have been a lot of court cases where the juries have simply rejected the prosecutions arguments and so similar cases have been dropped as a result. Costs could also be starting to play into the scenario although I would like to think not.

More an introduction of new law which takes a few years to define and begin to use within the scopes of what the public, and ultimately juries, find acceptable. Rushing in for the hell of it has begun to phase out and common sense sneak in.

[fighter]

My youngest son ended his statement with the words to the effect of @3 girls cried rape at the school he's just finished and he fears this is the latest craze xx

oh this is sad.. if it becomes the latest craze!!

[RFLH]

not only sad - but very scary. The potential to ruin so many lives.

[Denise]

It is scary

My daughter worked with a girl that accused her one night stand of rape
They would all be in the office comforting her then the man got convicted
When her relationship broke down it all came out that she had been lying and the man was released, he had lost his family home and Job and she got convicted

Only the beginning of this year a member of a pregnancy forum my daughter was on was a similar case, this girl had problems and members of the forum sent money and furniture to this woman who had lost everything and going through a rape claim
She was found out lying and her reason ? Because when she next saw the guy in the pub he couldn't remember her name !

Xx

[yoda]

I clicked into this thread thinking I'd find positive stories about how people have moved on So many lives wrecked by these issues!

This weekend I feel great because I've spent the last few days reading up about the Mental Health condiation i know my wife has.. It's explained a few things for me and i know understand most of what has happened over the last 6 months.

Understanding what and why is important to me and that is my key to moving on. The next step is to build a hope/dream and plan for the future. For 2012 that will be planning a great holiday for me and my boys in the Ardèche France in summer.

Hopefully I've found my balance point and i hope that the rest of you can do likewise. The way to forward for me is to balance out the past with new memeories when I do i'll finally put all this behind me.

I hope I'm not getting too excited Divorce and declaring my arrest to my Scout organisation is still required, fingers crosssed.

[fighter]

oh denise ..so many sad stories indeed..but maybe one thing that can come out positive here is when it becomes a craze, people will take it seriously? the police would become now more strict with investigating cases and come up with a stricter criteria for believing an accuser. I know it could be bad for genuine victims..but you know things just have to change at one point.

Yoda, nice to hear your attitude..about balancing bad memories with new memories. I hope I would be able to do that soon also.. well done!!

[Denise]

Yes well done Yoda, this thread needs some positivity for the ones left after the aftermath

Here's how I explained it to my brother today who phoned to check on me

"it's like my house has been demolished and the services have all left the site and I'm sitting around bricks and rubble, im gratefuk i havent lost anyone and I know I'll rebuild it all but at the moment I'm scratching my head wondering where to start"

For me, I think, seeing that CPS report will be the start of moving on

Xx

[Denise]

oh denise ..so many sad stories indeed..but maybe one thing that can come out positive here is when it becomes a craze, people will take it seriously? the police would become now more strict with investigating cases and come up with a stricter criteria for believing an accuser. I know it could be bad for genuine victims..but you know things just have to change at one point.

Yoda, nice to hear your attitude..about balancing bad memories with new memories. I hope I would be able to do that soon also.. well done!!

My OH kept telling me throughout this that CPS are under scrutiny and the longer it was in their hands the better it was for us xx