How do I move on?

[fighter]

yes, I agree with faith, whatever the outcome is, we are changed forever. We can be the accused, the partner of the accused, gf, mother and dad.. it does not matter--we have all been changed. But I am proud of all of us because we are still here fighting, trying to move on and helping others. I guess it shows how we handled this. it would have been easier to just get back at the accuser, to have some justice of what they took from us... but at least we live with our conscience clear despite having to deal with depression and all that comes with it.

Group hug!!!.

[Mumsinastate]

We got nfa today it's been a real tough day both of us are riding a roller coaster of emotions this is not going to be easy all the things going round in my head is this normal ??? Thought this would be the best day of my life

[Faith]

VERY normal. SOmething like this won't just go away. You got a great result...but the anxiety, anger, confusion, hurt etc will hang around for some time. You'll get through it...try and keep thinking about how much worse it could have been.

[fighter]

oh muminstate, i guess it is normal because you have been through a lot! and I would agree with Faith it could have been much worse, to be charged, it would be much more harder to comprehend and more shocking.. Please give yourself time and I hope you and your family and move on easily.

Take care!

[Mumsinastate]

Oh my I know just thinking about it all just fills me with dread I feel so bad moaning when lots of you on hear are still going through it but I will be right hear if anyone need a shoulder xxxx

[Faith]

It's all part of the process, so don't feel bad.

[innocentperson]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation . Some people are so cruel and sick, it's terrible!! I hate people who point the finger and accuse just so they can keep from hating themselves. I say, like every other issue that brings pain, just give it time. Take a step back, and breathe. Don't feel pressure to feel better, in time everything will get better. That's what you need, just give it time. Sometimes it lasts longer than we want, but that's life. Try to do what you enjoy and stick to it, do what you love and have fun while at it, a hobby or something. But just remember, in time, things will improve and get better. NEVER lose hope!

[Mumsinastate]

Just one thing I need to know if anyone can help will this ruin his chance of getting a job will employers be able to see it when he has crb or will he have to put it in his application he got a nfa

[Saffron]

Most employers do not require a CRB check, and the arrest would only show up on an Enhamced CRB check anyway. As there are no proceedings against him now, he would not have to "disclose" the arrest.
Hope that helps!

[Faith]

The application form would always inform you whether a CRB would be required and whether it were enhanced or not. This would only be disclosable if the CRB were enhanced, like Saffron says.
If he ever applied for a job that did require an eCRB it wouldn't necessarily prevent him from getting the job but he would be asked about it. In that occasion, being up front from the start would be advisable. An employer will respect that much more. If he met the job spec and references were good and he explained the circumstances of the case, there's no reason why he wouldn't have a chance at the job.

[Mumsinastate]

That's great he's been to see about a aprentership with by today so things are looking up its made him grow up real quick

[felix]

I got my NFA equivalent in April last year. I was diagnosed with PTSD in November. I went last week to a slightly odd Church of England church which meets in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Watford (North London). I asked for prayer and it didn't hurt! I cried LOADS which was kind of unlike me and embarrassing.... This made a huge difference and I would recommend it unconditionally. You can contact then via SoulSurvivor Watford website. Very normal, matter of fact competent men and women of ages 30 to 70. You can tell them as much or as little as you like. If you want more details or a contact name let me know and I will find same and post it here.

Oh, and it is free and entirely confidential....

[Faith]

We got nfa today it's been a real tough day both of us are riding a roller coaster of emotions this is not going to be easy all the things going round in my head is this normal ??? Thought this would be the best day of my life

Don't know f it helps. But I got my NFA yesterday and felt the same as you.
I'd fantasised over the 6 months about receiving that news under various scenarios. But it leaves you with a very empty and hollow feeling. It will pass though...it just takes a while to sink in

[Mumsinastate]

I feel more depressed now then I'm on a high I don't know what's going on My son is full of anger it's just an unreal feeling I just wish I could shake it

[Faith]

It is the same for me. I am sure we will shake it off, but it takes a bit of getting used to.
We've spent months living this other life of constant fears, doubts, depression etc, it's not something that can suddenly be snapped out of.

Saw my therapist today...she reckons its a very standard reaction