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my 16 year old son falsely accused of rape by a woman of 40

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  • my 16 year old son falsely accused of rape by a woman of 40

    our lives have changed for ever the pain that this is causing is unbearable. he had consensual sex with her at a party, she now claims he raped her! this happened last nov 2009, and he was not arrested until 30th of jan. he has been bailed and rebailed month after month. twice we were told it was all over the first time, they said it was a computor error, the next time a sypathetic sergent told us it had come back from cps with no realistic chance of conviction, since then the police have appealed to cps and now they have charged him.

    we do not know this woman but have been told by people that do that she suffers with by polar and is on medication for it, she has been having an affair with a married solicitor with three kids for over three years with sexual relations with young men inbetween! they were both drunk but she is claiming uncapable. she left our pub that night drunk and manhandled out the door by several people, thus these bruisers on her upper arms were supposed to have been caused by my son and not the people that took her home to the house where it is suppoed to have happened!

    i refued to serve her any more to drink after 10.30 simply because she was coming onto my friends husband and it annoyed me a little. she asked about my son whilst in the pub, when told how old he was she said do you think that is a little young for me. the police know all this. she then approached me about him telling me how handsome he was, i pointed out his age and she laughed.

    the next day after the party she got up and said she had been raped, she then said she felt rough and went back to bed in the same bed she claims the rape had happened. she has told folk that when examined she had a tear inside of her, my son said they had straaight sex with no forplay. the only thing that lets him down is that when arrested he was terrified and told the police he had not ad sex with her, later that day he told me the truth. my son has since gone back with a prepaired statement and told the truth, you can't imagine how much he regrets not doing this at first.

    my son has never been in trouble ever before with the police he is shy and caring. he has since tried to commit suiside and cannot live with the fact this womans false accusations could put him in prison. i'v tried our doctor for help but they would not perscribe medication, he is awaiting councilling. this is all out of our depths we are not a criminal family and have never had dealings with the police ever. we need help but no one seems to be able to give it us. as a mother i am devistated my son has been foolish but he is no rapist. i feel i should add that my son was a virgin! this older woman took my sons innocence and ruined his life.
    Last edited by Saffron; 4 November 2010, 06:07 PM. Reason: putting in paragraphs for clarity

  • #2
    Hello Landlady, I'm sorry you find yourself here.

    I understand the situation you find yourself in, although it was slightly different for me. It was my husband who was accused, not my son. Your son is very lucky to have you supporting him.

    The thing I am most worried about is that your son lied when initially questioned. This means that character references will not be applicable, because he is already a proven "liar". (incidentally, I am not condemning him for this - my husband also lied when first arrested, but then made an amended statement.) However, this could have serious repercussions....in our case, the prosecution said that as he had already "lied" to police, how could anyone believe anything he said after that? No-one took into account how terrified he was, suicidal in fact.

    Your son is young, only 16, and the intimidation of being arrested and questioned probably frightened him into telling an untruth. It's understandable, although unwise. (please understand that I am not judging him for that, I am just saying that as far as the jury is concerned, the "victim" is allowed to change her story as often as she likes....your son however, doesn't have that sympathy vote!)

    I URGE you to get a good solicitor on board. We relied on the duty sol, and she was completely apathetic, had no interest in helping us at all. Please get yourself a solicitor who knows what they are doing in these cases. It's not a hopeless case, but you must get decent representation now. If you post up your rough whereabouts, Fights Fighter might be able to recommend one.

    My heart goes out to you. Please keep coming back.

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    • #3
      Hi Landlady, I'm so sad that you have had to find us here. I am new to all of this, but there are many people here who know what they are talking about. It must be absolutely devastating to find your young son in this horrible situation. I really feel for you and him. It is very cruel how people are bailed and re-bailed - totally left in limbo. And with the ever present question of "Why" has she done such a horrible thing - even more-so to a lad who is still really a child. Poor lad.
      Best wishes to you
      Jen x
      False Accusers Beware: You have chosen to dine at the Karma Cafe. There is no menu: you will just get what you deserve.

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      • #4
        Welcome

        Hi Landlady
        glad you found your way here but not the circumstances. I must emphasize that the previous person said, please get your son a good sol. I am quite shocked that your sons GP was so unsympathetic personally I would try to get him to see a different, more understanding doctor especially as you say he has attempted suicide. If all else fails take him to your local A&E. For you this must be truly horrifying, I know, because our son was falsely accused earlier this year. You are going to have to find the strengh to support your son and at times this will be VERY difficult so you also need to take care of yourself. If you have problems trying to find some councelling for your son MIND offer some free sessions. Thinking of you and please keep coming back here and we will try to support you the best we can

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        • #5
          i know what you are saying saffron, no one is more regretable than my son about lying, he was 16 terrified knowing he had had sex with her, i will never forget his look of shear horror when they came to arrest him very early that morning. we too had the duty solicitor who when told that my son wanted to go back that next day to tell the truth told us to stay put, not to say anything because if he didn't come inside of her there would be no dna. like i said it was the first time my son had had sex, and at the time and still now suffers a medical condition of having a cyst on his epididimis, the tube from his sperm sack, which i might ad at the time was undergoing medical treatment for. the pain on ejaculation was so bad he pulled out and he thought made a mess on the bed! but we decided to take legal advise from our now solicitor who took my son in with his prepared statement. i think we all know he should have told the truth at first and maybe all this would be all over, i'm sorry but i don't believe that character references would be disregarded, why else would our solicitor ask for them, and also my family relation who is a top solicitor says get as many as possible. we have police women, probation officers, mental heath hospital managers all who are very close to my son surely it stands for something, theres even a woman who my son made sure got home from a party on new years day safely after having far too much to drink. please don't throw away my only hope so easy.my son is not a liar he was terrified he just made the wrong choice of not to tell the truth, oh i know thats a lie but i have to have faith in the system, its my only hope.
          Last edited by friday; 4 November 2010, 08:43 PM. Reason: removing identifying info

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          • #6
            I thankyou all for your kind and honest words

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            • #7
              i have jusy realisedi have put my sons first name in my last thred please can someone tell me how to remove it. thanks

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              • #8
                thankyou for your help in removing that x

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                • #9
                  sorry you had to find your way here. you and your son must be terrified. as others have said there is a lot of help out there if you know where to look. helplines may be useful if your son doesn't want to burden you with his worries and wants a sympathetic, non judgemental ear. there should be a thread with links on here. MIND are a fantastic resource and there may be other centres in your area that could offer therapy. if you are feeling a bit perplexed because your son hasn't been offered medication be reasurred it is because under 18s have an increased risk of suicide and self harm on SSRIs and need to be prescribed by a psychiatrist not just a gp. as he is under 18 he should be seen by CAMHS (especially if he is still in education) and they should be able to provide far more help than adult services.

                  i don't know a huge amount about the legal side of things but others on here do so hopefully someone can help you get the answers you need.
                  "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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                  • #10
                    probably on a hiding to nothing on this - but do you happen to know if the woman has been known to seek out young lads? I was just looking up 'cougar' in the urban dictionary, she seems to fit the criteria.
                    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                    • #11
                      Saffron said: The thing I am most worried about is that your son lied when initially questioned. This means that character references will not be applicable, because he is already a proven "liar". (incidentally, I am not condemning him for this - my husband also lied when first arrested, but then made an amended statement.) However, this could have serious repercussions....in our case, the prosecution said that as he had already "lied" to police, how could anyone believe anything he said after that? No-one took into account how terrified he was, suicidal in fact.
                      Extract: This means that character references will not be applicable,
                      Not necessarily. The judge would probably have to give what is known as a "Lucas Direction".

                      In R v Lucas (1981) 73 Crim App R 159 the Lord Chief Justice identified four conditions that needed to be satisfied before a defendant's lie could be seen as supporting the prosecution case:
                      "1. The lie must be deliberate; 2. It must relate to a material issue; 3. The motive for the lie must be a realisation of guilt and fear of the truth; and 4. The statement must be clearly shown to be untrue by other evidence or be admitted to be false." In relation to the third such proposition, the Lord Chief Justice observed:
                      "The jury should in appropriate cases be reminded that people lie, for example, in an attempt to bolster a just cause, or out of shame, or out of a wish to conceal disgraceful behaviour from their family."


                      So the jury would be directed, in this instance, I believe, that the lie is to be disregarded. Good Character references would only be challenged if he has previous convictions for similar offences.
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by RFLH View Post
                        probably on a hiding to nothing on this - but do you happen to know if the woman has been known to seek out young lads? I was just looking up 'cougar' in the urban dictionary, she seems to fit the criteria.
                        hi there, the girls she came in with, one being who's house she was staying at has since told me that she is know for going out into town to " pull" young lads, she has been known to have sex with them outside then come back into the club! i have to tell you these girls are no longer her friends because of her accusation against my son, although they are prosecution witnesses. simply because they were at the house on the night and the morning after. i have to say the girl who's house it were is very much younger than this woman, she knows her through her mum and dad. the mum has told me this womans life has always been chaotic from a young age and that is why she too fell out with her. i have thought about hiring private detective but is this evidence going to be submissible in court?

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                          Not necessarily. The judge would probably have to give what is known as a "Lucas Direction".

                          In R v Lucas (1981) 73 Crim App R 159 the Lord Chief Justice identified four conditions that needed to be satisfied before a defendant's lie could be seen as supporting the prosecution case:
                          "1. The lie must be deliberate; 2. It must relate to a material issue; 3. The motive for the lie must be a realisation of guilt and fear of the truth; and 4. The statement must be clearly shown to be untrue by other evidence or be admitted to be false." In relation to the third such proposition, the Lord Chief Justice observed:
                          "The jury should in appropriate cases be reminded that people lie, for example, in an attempt to bolster a just cause, or out of shame, or out of a wish to conceal disgraceful behaviour from their family."


                          So the jury would be directed, in this instance, I believe, that the lie is to be disregarded. Good Character references would only be challenged if he has previous convictions for similar offences.
                          he lied simply because he was scared, he was sixteen, the first time he had had sex and with an older woman, and then she cried rape, he was honest with me, he told me she asked him if he wanted '' to shag her". i have since been told by the girls that were her friends that this is how she talks, she likes rough sex and does not mind them knowing about it. my son has never had any convictions cautions or any relations with the police.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                            Not necessarily. The judge would probably have to give what is known as a "Lucas Direction".

                            In R v Lucas (1981) 73 Crim App R 159 the Lord Chief Justice identified four conditions that needed to be satisfied before a defendant's lie could be seen as supporting the prosecution case:
                            "1. The lie must be deliberate; 2. It must relate to a material issue; 3. The motive for the lie must be a realisation of guilt and fear of the truth; and 4. The statement must be clearly shown to be untrue by other evidence or be admitted to be false." In relation to the third such proposition, the Lord Chief Justice observed:
                            "The jury should in appropriate cases be reminded that people lie, for example, in an attempt to bolster a just cause, or out of shame, or out of a wish to conceal disgraceful behaviour from their family."


                            So the jury would be directed, in this instance, I believe, that the lie is to be disregarded. Good Character references would only be challenged if he has previous convictions for similar offences.
                            he lied simply because he was scared, he was sixteen, the first time he had had sex and with an older woman, and then she cried rape, he was honest with me, he told me she asked him if he wanted '' to shag her". i have since been told by the girls that were her friends that this is how she talks, she likes rough sex and does not mind them knowing about it. my son has never had any convictions cautions or any relations with the police.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks for clearing that up RF. In our case the judge directed the jury that "innocent people do sometimes lie" and that just because he lied didn't mean he was guilty. I don't think the jury really took it in though.
                              Our sol and barrister said that character refs were pointless, and we, in our naivety, believed they knew what they were talking about.

                              Landlady, I didn't mean to upset you by what I said. It appears I was wrong anyway, so please accept my apologies.

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