My Story

[Constant]

how much legal advice should I be getting at this moment as I seem to be the one doing all the chasing -

the last post cheered me up - not - but point taken - thanks

[RFLH]

sorry - but it does happen and if you're not prepared for it, it makes it all the more worse.

You'll not get much help until charges have been made against you, otherwise they'd be working for no reason.

[Constant]

Any one advise

following my arrest I haven't spoken to the police or my solictor apart from the HIV thing and chasing up - should I have done so - also the solictor was a duty solictor should I change this for a specialist solictor who deals in this sort of crime before I return for the bail.

[Saffron]

In a word - Yes. Get a really good sol on board, and make sure you choose one who specialises in successfully defending false allegations of sexual crimes. A standard criminal sol will not be good enough.

I am not saying that all duty sols are rubbish, but this is a very serious allegation to have levelled against you and you need to make sure you have the best person possible on your team.

[Constant]

Ok any good recommendations from this site would be appreciated. Still waiting to hear from my solicitor and will keep all informed. It seems I am doing all the work and all the panicking and all the worry for being innocent - what a way to live -

[witsend]

Constant, I have to agree with others you really need a good sol. Sorry to say that until you have news one way or another you will be worrying, just keep coming back here. thinking of you

[Constant]

Update

I have now changed to a specialist solicitor and have just been to see the old one to give him a consent to release my file. Interesting when I got there as he tried the police again and managed to get one of them on their mobiles which was good, does make me wonder if he tried before, anyway the police said that I still have to return for the bail and there should be a way forward by then - what the heck does that mean. For the love of god can they not just say - yep we're going charge him or we need more time or NFA - I mean what is up with these people why do they behave so crassly - is it just a game to them - this is my life they are playing with and they just don't seem to care. Anyway lets see what happens with the new solicitors - I spoke with them briefly and they thought it was a prob no charge to answer- but they have not seen the file yet so who knows, don't know how I feel today - numb is a good word or just plain old ****.

[Saffron]

Plod can't tell you whether you will be charged or MFAd because it's not up to them. They refer the case to the CPS, who then have 2 separate sols/barristers look at it (not sure which) and they then inform Plod of their intentions to press charges or NFA the case. In all probability the police are waiting to hear back from the CPS.

Personally, bearing in mind her provable lie (about you infecting her with HIV+) I can't see this going anywhere. However, please be prepared for the worst. I am glad you have instructed an experienced sol.

[Constant]

Thanks

Thanks for the words of wisdom - sometimes you just can't see what you need to do even if its staring you in the face.

Didn't know about the CPS thing - so sounds like plod is just an oily rag. Be interesting to see what investigations they have conducted - they have not spoken to me again, any of my associates, no one - last we heard was a month ago when they wanted the pin number for me phone - which is strange really a month after the event. I am prepared or worried for the worse - given how awful some of the theads on this site are and some of the dreadful things people have been accused of. Unreal - surely if they have no credibility these women should be sent to jail.

[witsend]

Constant. Glad to hear you now have specialist sol! Most of us on here agree with your sentiments that there should be someway of punishing the women who do this dreadful thing, but it ain't going to happen In our case we were told by plod that the female was "attention seeking". Don't they understand that it makes it all the more difficult for women in genuine cases.
Please keep coming back.

[0990]

just keep strong , in some cases the cps dont look into stuation till the very last minute , i know its hard but you just need to stay positive .

[Constant]

The Weekend

All - its the weekend and the week has dragged again - the emptiness I feel and the living in the unknown is dire. The weekends are worse sometimes as at least in the week people phone you and you can get more done - the weekend is just painful - waiting for another week to pass. The boredom is killing me just waiting, not knowing, unable to talk to anyone, fear that someone will find out your dirty secret, creeping around hoping that day turns into night so that you can sleep again - the minute you wake up the torment starts again.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and that some of the nonsense gets dealt with.

[RFLH]

can you not take yourself off out for a walk, drive or into the garden for a while each day?

Exercise is good and it gives you something to do to stop you thinking.

Although you feel that everyone is looking at you - rest assured that everyone is too wrapped up in themselves to take any notice of you - besides which some of the people you pass may be feeling exactly as you are.

Easier said than done I know.

[witsend]

Dear Constant. Not really sure what I can say to lift your spirits, just that at some point in time I believe we have all found ourselves in the dark pit of despair. Rest assured (I didn't believe it at the time) it will get better. If you can't find the strength to go out is there nothing mind numbing you can do indoors? even if it is only cleaning. I just seemed to sit in a chair with all my "bits" at my side and laptop firmly on my lap. This was my only sanity. The waiting is the worst part. Have you considered talking to your doctor? Patient confidentiality applies. Mine was brilliant. Hope you get through the weekend OK, don't drink too much.

[Constant]

The week ahead

All - I hope you had a good weekend it was certainly nice to see England beat the Aussies and that defo lifted my spirits.

As for the week ahead - I am going to try to get out more rather than sitting in front of the computer worrying and scared - I sometimes feel quite pathetic.

I will keep the forum informed and hope everyone has a great week ahead