Falsely accused during child proceedings...help

[Brokenipad321]

So ive no idea where to start this really.

After a long term relationship broke down with my ex partner, I began proceedings to have the children returned to their respected school and nursery settings.

on the week that my ex partner had the children, following the breakup, I was calling the childten ti speak to them. During these calls she would often tell the children to " **** off" "get ****ed" and theyre " little cunts"

I did manage to obtain a voice recording of her telling our daughter to **** off, get ****ed and absolutely ****ing get ****ed simply because she was telling me that my ex had taught our youngest daughter something, I dont know what that was as she quickly backtracked and said never mind.

I also showed the OIC the CCTV footage of my ex booting my van in and pushing me the night of the breakup, as she alleged she was "fleeing domestic violence"

Having picked the children up, I retained them and advised that court proceedings have begun and that I feel it's best for the children to remain with me in the interim whilst she sorts herself out ( as she had no job, house or stability)

What a stupid mistake that was. Literally that evening a report was made to the local police department. Which was subsequently transfered as it was out of county. (Established this due to police disclosures. However, she did put a counter C100 in which I mentioned in the first interview and was a day or two off the date i suspected these were raised.

first family court hearing went well and I felt good, as the judge had ordered a mutual split of 50/50 and return within a month pending cafcass involvement and pnc checks.

Now two weeks following this I was arrested for three charges, suspision of rape, SA, and Controlling and cohersive behaviour. Totally unfounded and utter bull****.

i was arrested outside of my children's nursery with everybody there, put in a van, and taken home for my house to be searched as my ex has reported I was withholding belongings. Luckily these were given to the solicitors on the first hearing two weeks prior so a paper trail was established as these belongings were sent 24h recorded delivery.

First interview was very vague and this was an initial account which was limited as it simply gave a three year timeframe and accusations of not allowing friends, family etc etc. I want to say I hope they're squashed as as I work 45 hours a week and I'm gone from 0730-1730 all week so I'm unsure how you control someone when I paid for her full driving tuition, three cars, insurances. Tax and she'd keep my card to buy fuel whenever needed. I also mentioned where docs were kept and she knew the pass code and that where the safe keys were kept.

Following her vri a few weeks later, i was brought in for a second interview where my ex is now alleging nearly 80 instances by saying it happened from x year every other weekend for three years. there was three utter bull**** "instances" mentioned which I gave full and frank accounts to what I could remember if we had any sexual encounters on those months alleged, as it's virtually impossible to defend yourself against something when there's no dates times or anything.

Now I'm not happy with myself but I think I said whay a load of bull**** more times in that interview then I care to admit, whilst I'm a laid back placid person. This is literally my life and future on the line from this person's lies and i will fight with everything i have to defend myself

During the period when I retianed the children prior to the first hearing, it was brought to my attention by my daughter that she is receiving Facebook notifications. I advised I would sort this for her, and there was messages from my next door neighbour stating " if there's an open police investigation he'll have the kids taken off him" and "can you report him for anything that doesn't implicate yourself" i handed these to the police and also mentioned discrepancies, as my partner alleged three different years to three different organisations, one year on her court paperwork, the next on the police paperwork, then the next on her cafcass phone call.

I'm sat at about 40 allegations within the family courts, social service visit on the day after my initial arrest as child abuse was alleged, this was dropped after the social worker conducted her visit with NFA. However, this was a ploy for my ex to try and put an urgent C2 application to remove the children back the area she wanted. Luckily this was squashed. Theres also been constant phone calls to police alleging more stuff ( seen via police disclosures). Funny enough a report was made for me giving the bird to my ex partner, and supposedly driving alongside her at that time. Funny enough at that exact moment in time it was alleged I was sat in the solicitors office.

Im currently three months in, with my bail extended to the end of August. However, I was advised I will likely be back in earlier pending my phone data to be reviewed. On the date of my bail extension, the OIC also attempted to sort contact with the children, as I advised her the bail conditions were being used as a weapon to stop all court ordered contact. ( ex trting to set up 3 way calls via herself to have me knicked).. sadly this didn't work but im happy in knowing my children now have their tablets.

She advised there may be another interview, and then it will be reviewed by the DCI who will make a decision to send to the CPS.

I have engaged a very well respected solicitor from reeds who is highly reccomended in pre charge work on the accused.me site, so im hoping the police can see through the absolute rubbish that's coming out of her mouth.

im at my wits end with this all, it's draining, tiring and im broken. I haven't seen my children in nearly 4 months due to this, but we're back in court at the end of the month so im hoping i regain some form of contact, I long to hug my girls i bloody miss them.

My ex is now posting half naked selfies on social media looking for "paypigs" which is literally a physcoligical kick to the brain given the nature of the allegstions she's raised against myself in comparison to the way she's now acting.


Please Tell me theres light at the end of the tunnel because I've been in a very dark place the past few months

[Peter1975]

Hello and a sad welcome to the forum Brokenipad, although I'm sorry you had to find us and to read of your sad situation. Apologies also for the lack of replies until now, unfortunately DM is barely used these days. There are some links to other forums in our useful information section that may offer more immediate support.

There is a lot to unpack in your post but my first impression is you have given a decent account of yourself and your ex is rather over egging the pudding, my feeling is that her scatter gun approach will backfire on her eventually, so let's hope my gut instinct is right.

You seem to be doing all of the right things, gathering social media evidence and so forth and engaging a solicitor for pre charge work may make all of the difference.

My only advice, as it often is, would be to try and look at the situation from all sides and try to put yourself in your ex's shoes. Consider if there might have been occasions or situations you may have handled better yourself or could have de-escalated and perhaps try to pity her rather than get mad. My ex, for example was probably the most difficult when the kids had a great time without her and there was a pretty clear pattern of behaviour there. Other than that, just keep your chin up and doing what you have been doing. There is always light at the end of a tunnel.

[Batmother]

Hello Brokenipad, welcome, but sorry you find yourself in need of this forum. Your ex sounds like a ‘right ticket’ indeed from what you have indicated here.

There are numerous situations like yours on the forum of exactly this timing of the accusation(s) ie conveniently after a custody issue/battle arises.

keep every scrap of social media, messages etc as you never know how vital it may prove to be further down the line. I know in my Husbands case I trawled my old iPad and new one, where I found emails that are helping disprove some of the timings of the allegations against him( its historic sexual abuse alleged). Better to give your solicitor everything you have in your arsenal so to speak than too little.

your ex sounds like a big heap of trouble and I hope you can keep her at a safe distance during this time and only ‘engaged’ with her through official channels when the need arises.

*************When/if you are interviewed again proceed with extreme caution*********
ie take a solicitor with you and follow his advice if he says to you to ‘no comment’ your interview questions. The Police are really not interested in helping you out this mess, they are simply trying to get you to say something they can use against you. Here in Scotland a ‘no comment’ interview is not held against you in court but I am not sure if that applies in England/Wales.

I hope you have people who can help and support you through this and also consider speaking to your doctor if you find yourself not sleeping/anxious/panic attacks etc. Don’t struggle on alone.

It might be a long tough road, but there will come a time it will be over, hold onto that, you know you’re telling the truth and she is not.

Remember “the brightest light follows the darkest night”.

Chin up and stand your ground.

[Brokenipad321]

Hey all,

I believe I'm due a third interview pending phone downloads, there'll be absolutely nothing on it supporting her allegations. However this wasn't confirmed I was just told there's a chance I might be bailed back earlier pending the downloads.

i cant thank you enough for your responses, i have been reaching out when needed but I keep getting told to "calm down" it's just a formality and it'll all be over soon, but it doesn't stop me feeling the way I do.

She's not a nice person, and it took me a very long time too see through her deception, ive had to call the police and log a harrasment claim as my neighbour is going around telling everybody I am xyz, asking for information to give back to her and mentioning the ongoing child proceedings case.

Family Law sol has advised the police hammered home regarding the accusations. As they are implausible some of them. However, I'm not privy to listening to her ABE as of yet to get an understanding of what has actually been said ( I'm also pre charge solicitor I'm unsure if this is why)

Pre charge rep is now in I believe so it's back to waiting

all the best and keep on fighting.

[Brokenipad321]

Update - call from OIC following my accuser deciding to attend my neighbours house, which effectively had me on house arrest by the police until she left. Figures

within this call the OIC advised that she is going for full FC disclosure following pre charge rep and advised all the inconsistencies within the FC statements will weaken the case my false accuser has raised against me, which seemed odd to hear this. She even mentioned she's on holiday next week, so this will be sorted upon her return.

On another note, friends of friends have located more stuff on my false accusers' social media, mentioning lots of love quotes, and not wanting to " let go" of her true love etc etc.

Im hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. Would this be useful? Should the matter make it court.

[Batmother]

Hi Brokenipad. I would say get someone to take screen shots of her account, and any posts which allude to your relationship with her, past or present if you are not comfortable doing this.

Perhaps also snapshot any posts which sound like they are to do with the current situation you find yourself in with her.

I always think give the solicitor more to work with instead of less, he can always disregard anything that he doesn’t think will help if it all does go to court.

Your ex doesn’t seem to be very ‘bright’ if she’s posting stuff about what is going on, with a bit of luck she will ‘trip herself up’.

keep us posted if/when you can.

[Peter1975]

This all sounds positive Brokenipad and demonstrates that pre charge work may be a good investment.

While it's good advice to never trust the police, they are certainly not all bad and anecdotally at least, they are under resourced and swamped with cases so they may be keen to dispose of weak cases asap. They may not appreciate having their time wasted either, but don't hold your breath for your accuser to be interviewed under caution for making a FA. That's as rare as hen's teeth.

I think it's better to say, prepare for everything. While it looks unlikely there will be criminal charges, it would seem that your ex may be a pain for some years to come, perhaps until the children turn 18, so keep taking the screenshots as Batmother says and make sure you keep all the evidence in a safe place in case it's needed in the future.

[Brokenipad321]

Small update

the wheels of justice are slowly moving.

no immediate update from the police. However, i did find some evidence which has been submitted to the solicitor on the basis of the CCB element which is along the lines of her saying " i would always argue with you because youre emotionally unavailable" complete polar opposite for her "fear" of me, as well as, visiting the house next door multiple times within a three week period.

family court side is now going to a Fact find hearing which is making me nervous, as im trying to navigate what evidence can/ should be disclosed to defend myself without compramising my defence.

Currently sat on 5 different alleged timelines over multiple different years / months.

on the plus side. She's now court ordered to remaim away from my house, and the police have supported an immediste family member in getting a restrsining order against her due to multiple false police reports.

take the small wins as they come and keep on keeping

[Batmother]

Hello Brokenipad. Good to hear/read your latest post here. So it seems like she is changing her ‘story’ and I bet there will be many changes along the way. She sounds likes she’s digging a big hole for herself with her conduct. If it ever went as far as a trial there should be plenty of ‘ammo’ to blow holes in her version of events and her ‘character’. She doesn’t seem to be very ‘reliable’.

I wonder if your solicitor can help guide you on the family court part and what you can/should say in your defence or if you have to get a separate solicitor for that who specialises in Family Law.

I can understand your reluctance to give them anything you have in your ‘arsenal’ in case they use it to their advantage.

As I have said before, she will trip herself up somewhere, and hopefully fall into that big hole she seems to be digging.

Keep upbeat, keep well, keep us posted.

This will all come to an end at some point, hang in there, your doing great.

[Brokenipad321]

Constant changes via FC statements, conflicting police statements and evolving statements, i honestly would not be surprised if she pulls more "incidents" out of her bag for the upcoming FFH in Aug.

On another note. My sister has been harrased for months by my ex, be it via reporting her work, multiple false police reports, her university, attempting to cancel her passport, and multiple police visits for "abusing" her children, she reported my ex for harrasment.

Police at one station acknowledged that she is being harrased via them and explained they will assist in getting a non mol to keep her away. As they cannot do anything as they are 'duty bound to investigate all intel.

On another page, the police have now just called my sister in for an interview under caution for ongoing harrasment. What the ****, how can one pd acknowledge that shes being harrased and the other arrest her for harrasment.

Complete two tier justice system, gives me no hope, as shes trying to paint this narrative.