Other Half struggling and overwhelmed

[Peter1975]

Hi Batmother,

Sorry to hear about the charges, they always come as a shock even when you are expecting them.

I'm afraid I've forgotten more about Scottish law than I retain so anything I tell you may be worse than useless but in England and Wales, the preliminary hearings are basically administrative, deciding which court should hear the case depending on its seriousness (there is something called solemn procedure in Scotland), taking a plea from the defendant, deciding how many court days will be needed and setting a preliminary trial date. The trial is likely to be some time away so I wouldn't be too concerned about how prepared your solicitor seems to be at this stage. I dimly recall that Scotland used to have a rule that a trial must take place within 12 months of a petition being served, though this can be extended by the court.

Police investigations often leave a lot to be desired and you should discuss how to approach this with your solicitor, You may have cause to raise a complaint with the ombudsman at the end of your case if nothing else.

My best advice right now is to write down all of your questions so that you don't forget to ask anything at your next conference. One question I would ask is if it is worth you applying for legal aid and being declined as I was once told this made it easier to claim back some of the costs upon acquittal.

I'm sorry that I can't be more help but please keep us updated and come back any time if you need some words of encouragement. You're doing fine, keep going.

[Batmother]

Thank you Peter1975 for your reply and words of encouragement. I contacted the Scottish Legal Aid Board directly myself last year and asked them about being able to claim back money however they replied saying in so many words, not a chance, that doesn’t happen in Scotland if you are acquitted/found not guilty, but thanks for the suggestion.

Perhaps my situation might be helpful to someone else going through this madness if they are based in Scotland and if I post what is/has happened along the way.

I log onto the site here fairly frequently and still keep reading other people’s experiences even though I am sure there’s hardly an entry I haven’t read. You have no idea how much it helps/is a comfort. I hope it doesn’t close.

I will keep popping by and put on another update when I have something more ‘concrete’ again regarding my Husbands case.

Again, for anyone ‘Lurking’ out there who is struggling with the situation they find themselves in, try and pluck up the courage to post, you will find people who are willing to ‘lend an ear’ /bounce off of and save you from driving yourself mad with worry. I keep repeating to myself that worrying about the worst case scenario is exhausting, its not happened yet/reality so keep focussed and keep well as we will need all our strength to fight this.

[Peter1975]

Thank you Peter1975 for your reply and words of encouragement. I contacted the Scottish Legal Aid Board directly myself last year and asked them about being able to claim back money however they replied saying in so many words, not a chance, that doesn’t happen in Scotland if you are acquitted/found not guilty, but thanks for the suggestion.

Well, that's outrageous, I know there are a couple of old members that managed to recover some of their costs, paid at much lower legal aid rates roughly a fifth of the total and dependent on the trial judge granting a costs order iirc and I thought that was bad enough. but that really is an insult. It's been dubbed the innocence tax and is clearly unfair but if that's how it is there is little point dwelling on it, though I would still double check with the lawyer if it were me.

Perhaps my situation might be helpful to someone else going through this madness if they are based in Scotland and if I post what is/has happened along the way.

I log onto the site here fairly frequently and still keep reading other people’s experiences even though I am sure there’s hardly an entry I haven’t read. You have no idea how much it helps/is a comfort. I hope it doesn’t close.

Yes indeed, although I can't guarantee that many will read your posts, I always take the view that if they help just one person just a little then it is worth the typing.

I believe DM is the oldest FA forum on the internet, along with Helga Speck's excellent PAFAA and I have argued that many of our old posts are valuable and should be preserved for the reasons you have given, even if some of the information in them has become out of date. There have been many brilliant members over the years and it's sad to think all of their wise, insightful contributions could be lost. I don't really understand why people seem to prefer the facebook groups over an anonymous forum but times change I suppose. Another possible reason for low traffic is that last I checked, support groups in general have been buried under 5 pages of legal firms advertising their services in a google search, making us more difficult to find.

I keep repeating to myself that worrying about the worst case scenario is exhausting, its not happened yet/reality so keep focussed and keep well as we will need all our strength to fight this.

This is good advice, make sure you follow it. The often repeated phrase hope for the best but prepare for the worst holds true but it's perhaps better expressed as prepare for everything, and you will find that there is plenty of time to do just that so there is no need to feel guilty about taking time off to de-stress from it all. There are also things that are within your control,, just knowing where to park near the court may seem trivial but it unnecessarily adds to the stress if you wing it and end up cutting it fine like I did! Find somewhere nice for lunch other than the court canteen, treat yourself to a bit of shopping if you get out early, Be kind to yourselves and each other. it all helps.