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Oh Crumbs FS.
apologies for not seeing your message earlier.
Sadly, I have heard all of this before including the accusations of grooming and it would seem that things have gone too wrong for there to be a better resolution but I'm sure you will agree that your daughter must stay with your partner and so yes, she must accept the findings of the court.
I've known at least a couple of women in denial about their partner's offending and they committed the cardinal sin of claiming infallible knowledge of their partner's innocence rather than taking an open minded approach- this is a huge red flag to SS as it comes across as blind belief and they essentially believe anyone accused is guilty anyway. As awful as it is, there are also women who will turn a blind eye to a partner harming their children and they will lie on their behalf if necessary. SS just won't take any risks if they don't feel the child is prioritised. It doesn't help that the natural reaction to having SW's poke their unwanted noses in is to shut the door or tell them to FO - and words like "evasive" "hostile" or "deceptive" are put in your file.
It's pretty impossible to unwrite those initial ( or subsequent) reports, if your partner all of a sudden changes her stance it will be seen as suspicious and possibly "false compliance" ie: that she is playing along until she thinks SS are not watching so yes, it's better to end your relationship in my opinion because SS will be watching.
Please don't give up. I know it's pretty crappy but you may still have a chance to stay in your daughter's life, even if it is to be supervised. Her 18th birthday may seem like a long way away but it will come. The future is already on its way.
I hope you can make some progress in getting yourself situated. Hang in there.
apologies for not seeing your message earlier.
Sadly, I have heard all of this before including the accusations of grooming and it would seem that things have gone too wrong for there to be a better resolution but I'm sure you will agree that your daughter must stay with your partner and so yes, she must accept the findings of the court.
I've known at least a couple of women in denial about their partner's offending and they committed the cardinal sin of claiming infallible knowledge of their partner's innocence rather than taking an open minded approach- this is a huge red flag to SS as it comes across as blind belief and they essentially believe anyone accused is guilty anyway. As awful as it is, there are also women who will turn a blind eye to a partner harming their children and they will lie on their behalf if necessary. SS just won't take any risks if they don't feel the child is prioritised. It doesn't help that the natural reaction to having SW's poke their unwanted noses in is to shut the door or tell them to FO - and words like "evasive" "hostile" or "deceptive" are put in your file.
It's pretty impossible to unwrite those initial ( or subsequent) reports, if your partner all of a sudden changes her stance it will be seen as suspicious and possibly "false compliance" ie: that she is playing along until she thinks SS are not watching so yes, it's better to end your relationship in my opinion because SS will be watching.
Please don't give up. I know it's pretty crappy but you may still have a chance to stay in your daughter's life, even if it is to be supervised. Her 18th birthday may seem like a long way away but it will come. The future is already on its way.
I hope you can make some progress in getting yourself situated. Hang in there.
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