Help :-(

[Innocent1970]

Hi IG,

It may be better to 'cut & paste' your post #9 to your main thread as it can be confusing to respond to two folk on one thread!

Regards,

CH

I will do, thank you (and sorry). I just couldn't post straight away without putting a few posts up to register as a new member.

Good luck to you all.

[Smiley]

Good luck mate.
Well she's claiming that she was 15 but her dates don't add up and it happened till she was 20. She wasn't even living here.lol. I think it's all about money and revenge yo be fairl

[Smiley]

Just a few weeks more of waiting. Although I don't write here often, I do view posts etc it's a great comfort. Only have two positive now. All will be dropped or go to trial and the family will support each other all the way. I just hope they don't re-bail because the waiting is the hardest part.

[myhome]

Just a few weeks more of waiting. Only have two positive now. All will be dropped or go to trial and the family will support each other all the way. I just hope they don't re-bail because the waiting is the hardest part.

Hi and belated welcome but sorry you had to find us...waiting is the hardest but maybe as well to prepare for a rebail - (it does happen and for a lot of reasons - not enough evidence, need to find more evidence, didn't get round to opening the file/talking to "victim"/witnesses; couldn't be bothered/forgot to investigate so ought to start etc etc ) and if it's not a rebail then it's a bonus....
Keep strong and above all don't tell the plod anything they don't ask you about. Don't volunteer new information or anything that will help your defence; they won't use it to help you...

[Smiley]

Thanks, I forgot about re-bail as an option too. It's true though, no matter the outcome. The whole family has been ruined forever. Luckily, the solicitor said not to comment. Hate this waiting game. Thank god for work to occupy our brains.

[myhome]

It's true though, no matter the outcome. The whole family has been ruined forever.

Got to disagree with you here. Firstly it's not true because forever hasn't happened yet; secondly, forever is a very long time and things can change in that time if you want them to; thirdly, because this is all so new to you, the feelings you have are so very raw, deep, sharp and very very painful. This last won't always be the case, although it seems like it will be at the moment...

Lots of people on here have come out the other side and although they are not the same people - they have changed - they are not ruined - just struggling to rebuild after their horrendous experiences. It is possible to rebuild and begin afresh - many have. It's not easy but as long as you all support each other and believe in truth and innocence, your whole family CAN rebuild its life. You can do it just within your family, or seek professional help.

Please try not to view your future as over and ruined...it isn't if you don't want it to be.

BTW - I am not saying this from a sanctimonious position of having done it - I haven't. For me it is 11 and 1/2 months since I was interrogated by plod - nothing has happened since - no arrest, no charge, no bail conditions, no news. I just know that when eventually it is over for me and justice is served, the b&tch who has made these last 11 and 1/2 months so emotionally difficult to bear, is not going to have the rest of my life in an emotional mess too....(also BTW - I'm a woman!) I'm speaking sincerely, from my heart because I have been on here 11 months and have seen so much trauma and sadness, but also so much happiness when people are NFA'd or NG'd that I want you to believe that it can happen to you and your family too...

[lonley place]

I second what MH has said. We are out the other side and the hellish wait is over.
We are rebuilding our family life, I won't pretend its easy but we are moving on slowly but surely.

[can it get worse]

Thanks My Home - there's some good words for all of us to keep in our minds. Not easy to put in to practice as we all agree but it is worth trying to work towards. This is the real success in the face of the liars.

Thanks MH

[Smiley]

Thanks guys, I won't be back here. Everything's been dropped. There is justice after all. Stay strong. I'm off to re-build mine and my families life. Good luck everyone.

[Casehardened]

This is great news for you and your family; thanks for coming back to let us know as this is greatly encouraging for those members still going through the process.

Pleas accept a couple of symbolic bananas on his behalf:

[Smiley]

I said I wouldn't come back but I feel obliged to help those who were in my family's situation. I can't echo enough the fact that the police are your friends until a charge or suspected rape allegation happens.
If anyone is in this position, do not speak without a solicitor and do yourself a favour and say 'no comment' which is very good advice.
Also, stay strong. My greatest help was to believe that you have to feel and be worse until things will get better like in my family's case.
Don't try and reason with the alleged victims mind in your head as you can't reason with stupidity. Don't seek revenge as I am a strong believer in what goes around will come back around.
Don't let them occupy anymore of your life as they have physically and mentally. Erase them from your memory. It's the only way.
Above all stay strong and never give up. Where there's a will, there is a way.

[myhome]

Got to disagree with you here. Firstly it's not true because forever hasn't happened yet; secondly, forever is a very long time and things can change in that time if you want them to; thirdly, because this is all so new to you, the feelings you have are so very raw, deep, sharp and very very painful. This last won't always be the case, although it seems like it will be at the moment...

Lots of people on here have come out the other side and although they are not the same people - they have changed - they are not ruined - just struggling to rebuild after their horrendous experiences. It is possible to rebuild and begin afresh - many have. It's not easy but as long as you all support each other and believe in truth and innocence, your whole family CAN rebuild its life. You can do it just within your family, or seek professional help.

Please try not to view your future as over and ruined...it isn't if you don't want it to be:

Don't like to say - told you so
Give yourselves time to heal then get back to enjoying your lives.....