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  • Feeling sorry for myself

    How is it that some people can get right under our skin without even trying? I was doing ok until Mon. I had a visit from some family members who haven't treated me well in the past as well as recently. Now my emotions are all over the place and I feel as though I'm struggling. I want to just sit here and have a good cry, yet I can't. I feel so alone, even though I'm surrounded by people who love me.

    So many contradictions going through my head. I've had enough now. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Hopefully it will pass. Why do I let them get into my head?

  • #2
    Originally posted by Music lady View Post
    I've had enough now. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Hopefully it will pass. Why do I let them get into my head?
    Hi ML - I'm so sorry to read this because you have been so strong and upbeat and getting on really well....

    Please can you say what you mean by, "I've had enough now."? (PM me if you want to instead) so that we have a clearer idea of how we can help and support you.

    I wouldn't agree that you are, "feeling sorry for yourself." I would suggest that you are going through a low patch which is so understandable, but from your viewpoint is a bit of a blow when you've been so positive for so long. And yes - it will pass, though when you feel like this it's hard to believe and even harder to remember what it felt like.

    If people are in your head it's because that's where they wanted to be - for whatever unkind reason - so the question I, "How do I get them out?" There are ways of doing this. Generally, thoughts will go round and round until you get them out and the easiest way to do this is to write your thoughts down. Once they're on paper, usually they're gone. You could then tear up the paper or burn it - very therapeutic! Some people have found writing a "ghost email" successful. So - you write a no holds barred email saying everything want to say to them using whatever colourful or rational language you want - but you NEVER send it!!! I have sometimes put a nonsense address in the address bar then hit "send" so it's like you've sent it so the thoughts have gone winging into the ether......and of course, you can talk your feelings through with someone who understands...

    You WILL bounce back - so allow this time to wash over you and accept it for what it is and look forward to returning to the positive moods you've been in.

    Keep strong cos you're doing amazingly well...
    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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    • #3
      Hi MH, thanks for your reply and kind words.

      I'm not thinking of doing anything silly. I've just had enough of working on healing, and feeling like this. I know I can't just give up, but sometimes it's just so tempting. It would be so much easier just to go back to denial, but I guess that's not really an option any more. Just wish my past would magically disappear.

      I get like this sometimes, but this time I just felt the need to reach out for some support, I guess. I just get annoyed with myself because I let him get to me, and I know I shouldn't. I don't know if he does it deliberately or not, but it still hurts. We've never really got on, he's never really liked me to be honest.
      I do try and keep my distance from him for this reason. He breaks my defenses down so easily every time, and it annoys me so much.

      I've tried writing it down, I've tried writing him a letter, which I'd never send, but it doesn't really help. I tried watching one of my favourite sitcoms. That made me feel better so I could get a good nights sleep, but it's still there like a black cloud looming. I hate feeling low. (I would still call it feeling sorry for myself)

      Sorry to go on. I hope you're ok.
      ML

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Music lady View Post
        How is it that some people can get right under our skin without even trying? I was doing ok until Mon. I had a visit from some family members who haven't treated me well in the past as well as recently. Now my emotions are all over the place and I feel as though I'm struggling. I want to just sit here and have a good cry, yet I can't. I feel so alone, even though I'm surrounded by people who love me.

        So many contradictions going through my head. I've had enough now. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Hopefully it will pass. Why do I let them get into my head?

        Hey Music Lady,

        I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling this week

        A big for you

        Sorry I haven't been on and only seeing this thread now

        I think you summed it up pretty well when you said they hadn't treated you well either in the past or now. As hard as it is, please try not to let them get to you. It sounds like they are not nice people to be around, and not worth getting upset over! Easier said than done I know!!

        It can be lonely even with people around ( I can certainly relate to that) but as you say your "surrounded" by people that love you and rightly so so please don't waste any more of your energy on the family members who clearly don't deserve your time.

        Concentrate on you, you have enough going on without being dragged down with them!

        Positive thoughts Hun, I am thinking of you!

        Rach x

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        • #5
          Thanks for your reply WG, sorry I haven't posted until now.

          I'm starting to feel a bit more positive now. Just wish I knew how to stop him getting to me. He didn't really do much, and yet he still managed to crawl under my skin. I tend to try and see as little of them as possible for this reason. I only see them about 4 times a year, if that. I hope I keep on improving now, and it lasts.

          ML

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Music lady View Post
            Thanks for your reply WG, sorry I haven't posted until now.

            I'm starting to feel a bit more positive now. Just wish I knew how to stop him getting to me. He didn't really do much, and yet he still managed to crawl under my skin. I tend to try and see as little of them as possible for this reason. I only see them about 4 times a year, if that. I hope I keep on improving now, and it lasts.

            ML


            Hey ML,

            That's ok, sorry I haven't replied to your pm yet. I haven't had much chance to get on here lately!

            Glad your feeling more positive and that's probably the best idea (to see as little as poss) if seeing them (him) makes you feel this way.

            Families eh?!

            Take care Hun

            WG x

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