Teacher, Husband, Father, Accused of Rape by WIFE!! Devastated and Distraught!! Help Me Please!!!

[accused1234]

Hi all, I’m pretty new on here and would really appreciate all the advice and support I can get. I have been accused of raping my wife repeatedly at unspecified times during our marriage. To give you a background history of my life and case:

• Had an arranged marriage organised between both our parents
• She is originally from Pakistan but is legally in the UK on her mother’s visa
• Both met and happily agreed to marriage
• Applied for a spouse visa once we married
• Been married for 10 months
• She wanted to start a family straight after getting married even though I wanted to wait a year at least. Agreed to start a family as she was very adamant.
• She was devastated after unsuccessfully not being pregnant after the first month but we both were extremely happy after being successful by the second month.
• Been having arguments about various things (mainly in relation to my interfering mother in-law who I didn’t see eye-to-eye and my wife being very close and influenced by her.
• Never been physically abusive my wife.
The event which built you my wife making the allegations follows:
• We had an argument regarding finances
• She locked herself in the bedroom
• Wouldn’t let me or anyone into the bedroom
• My parents tried to talk to her but instead threw a barrage of abuse relating about me
• I waited for an hour for her to calm down and tried to talk to her and open the door. Still refused to open door and now claiming that her stomach was hurting (she is 6 months pregnant)
• Pleaded with her to open door for the baby’s sake
• Unlocked the door by unscrewing the door handle as I was seriously worried about both her and the baby
• Found her lying on the floor and picked her up and put her on the bed
• Told her that I will either take her to the hospital or call the hospital which she refused both
• Asked her for the midwifes number and she refused to give it
• I called the non-emergency number and managed for her to talk to a doctor. Doctor stated that she should drink water and the pain would be nothing to be alarmed about but go to the hospital if it persists. Doctor took my phone number and said he would call back in 2 hours to check if everything is ok.
• Gave her the phone and I slept downstairs
• She never answered the phone when the doctor called
• Left home at 5am to go to London with her family

After the drama

• Texted my wife to stay at her parents wife as my parents were really worried and I needed space
• Wife still came home that day
• Slept in the same bed but did not speak to each other at all
• She went to her parents’ house on Thursday as usual
• Have not communicated with my wife up until Saturday. Told her that I wanted to see and talk to her. The intention was to tell her that I wanted a divorce
• Mother in-law took my wife to hospital before I arrived
• Wife had a urinary infection common in pregnancy
• Told nurse and doctor about our domestic problems and left so they could have a private conversation with my wife
• Wife kept in hospital as precaution as her BP was high and they wanted her to speak to a therapist
• Stayed with wife overnight
• Told her I wanted a divorce
• She was distraught and begged me to stay for 2 hours but I was firm and told her that it was over
• I was angry with her and was verbally aggressive when talking to her
• In the morning I went out for half an hour for air
• Returned but was unable to as security guards wouldn’t let me in or give me any reasons why. Also told me the police were coming down
• Stayed for the police to come as I was clueless why they were called and what was going on
• Arrested with an allegation of rape

Police Interview

At the police station I was kept in for a total of 22 hours. The police were very friendly throughout the whole situation. I requested for a duty solicitor. Answered all the questions in full detail. They confiscated my phone. They also took my DNA and fingerprints. I had been told that the house was currently being searched for any evidence. I was charged with an alleged rape SOA 2003 and released on bail with conditions.
How it has affected me
• Been branded a rapist
• Lost my job, as the agency I work through said it would be inappropriate to go back to the school even though the school still want me back there
• Can’t be present of the birth of my child because of the bail conditions
• Could go to prison for a crime I have never committed
• Never been so stressed in my life

Assumptions why she would make a false allegation

• Ashamed that her husband doesn’t want to be with her with good reason?
• Embarrassment for her and her family of the divorce?
• Getting married and having a baby to gain residence within the UK?
• Destroy my life?
(never thought of these when I was interviewed)

Her day to day life life:

• Living with me (Monday – Wednesday)
• Living with parents (Thursday – Sunday)
• Studying 1 day a week at college (Thursday)
• Going to help at a family friend’s salon (Weekends)

What I want the police to ask is why make the claim on the day I asked for a divorce? She lives with her parents most of the week, goes to college and works; why didn’t she mention this to anyone if I had been doing this crime when she had the opportunity?

I feel isolated and alone. Please any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.

[myhome]

Hi and welcome to the forum but sorry you had to find us. Sadly your story is all too common as you will see from other threads you've read on here.
Immediate advice is to write everything down (as you have here) and store it electronically or written somewhere where the police can't get it if they decide to take your computer. This includes conversations you had, text messages social media etc. Don't say anything to the police without a solicitor present.
have a look at this sticky............

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

there will be others along shortly to help you more....you are not alone and you will get a lot of support and advice on here....keep strong MH

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi A1234 - I'm very sorry you find yourself here, but welcome anyway, and I'm qsure you'll find lots of support and imprtant information on the site.

I think your very first step is to find yourself a specialist solicitor (one who has a sound track-record, not just one who says he has) .... there is a thread called 'specialised solicitors' where people have posted solicitors they have experience on and can recommend in their area. You may want to deal with one who has the additional experience of immigration matters. I wouldn't rely on the Duty solicitor being an expert.

She may have married you and insisted on getting pregnant so quickly to get leave to stay in the country, an accusation of rape may help her case. She my well be able to claim in the region of 11k from Victim Support, whether you go to court or not. Have a look around on the internet for support sites specifically for Pakistani women/rape/domestic violence issues. You might be able to find a 'blue-print' that she's used as guidelines.

Presumably your parents are witnesses to your relashionship with your new wife as you were both living with them. Have you got people who can and would be prepared to speak up for you as being of good character etc? These will also be useful.

Try and keep calm if possible. You need to take this seriously and prepare to defend yourself against these accusations in a very organised way.

You are definately not alone, as you will see from the posts ,false accusations are being made all the time. The initial shock is terrible, that will subside with time though it can be quite a rollacoaster ride. Try to get regular excercise if you can. Relaxation, meditation and prayer can also be very helpful as can distractions - hobbies, funny films etc.

Come back on here regularly for advice or just to pour your heart out.
All the best,
WGO

[accused1234]

Thank you, for the support and the link was very useful. I have already written everything about my marriage down. I am jobless, broke and cannot afford a private solicitor to take on my case. Any recommendation of specialist solicitor taking on legal aid would be greatly appreciated.

My wife has also made another allegation that I had been beating my niece after the rape allegation. The social services phoned my sister telling her there was an allegation that I had been beating my niece. . Again this is another fabricated story that she has made. The social services said that they had contacted the school and found no evidence that my niece was being abused and they have effectively closed the case. I believe that the reason my wife has made this claim is either to destroy my teaching career or build a case that I can't see my child once it is born.

I have informed my solicitor and he has told me not to worry as this will make her look less credible in court but I am still worried. She has made one claim which has ineffectively destroyed my career. Another allegation where I could have lost a family member to the authorize. What's the next allegation going to be?

Given the information I have provided, in your opinions do you think that the allegation of rape will go to court? The police say that they are still investigating and gathering information about the case. I don't know what evidence they could possibly find. I have never sent any malicious text messages to my wife, I have never been physically abusive to my wife, the only time I have been verbally abusive to my wife was the day I told her I wanted a divorce, I have been having regular consensual sex with my wife in the bedroom.

[Casehardened]

We all want to reassure you but the truth is the process has to take place.

The police [initially] assume every accusation is true unless it is patently obvious that the assault could not have occurred, and with the recent poor publicity of the fall out from the Yewtree investigation they daren't drop any cases; they let the CPS make the decision which inevitably takes time.

This is no help to you of course as it is very personal, unlike them where it is just a job.

However as a general comment, I agree with your solicitor, the more allegations the 'victim' comes out with, the less credible she becomes, it's a case of trying to bolster a false allegation by adding more false allegations and the CPS are well aware of this trait.

[is there justice?]

Accused 1234, I'm sorry yet another person has had to find this wonderful website.

You've had some good advice but I would like to add don't underestimate the shock that comes from these false allegations. I would describe it as initial panic, insomnia, crying, anger, suspicion, shame, wanting to run, even end it all.
This will lessen over the next 4 weeks gradually although you may relapse occasionally.

Keep your thinking head on, write down any thoughts as they occur and keep your chin up! You will get through this and hopefully it will be sorted sooner rather than later.

[whatsgoingon?]

' Any recommendation of specialist solicitor taking on legal aid would be greatly appreciated'

Which area (county or nearest large town) do you live in?

[accused1234]

West Yorkshire.

[whatsgoingon?]

Have you found a specialist solicitor who takes legal aid clients in W. Yorkshire? If not, perhaps someone can recommend you one. If your still looking, I would post a request on the Specialist Solicitor thread.

How's everything going?

[accused1234]

Thanks for the advice Whatsgoingon. I will take your advice and start a new thread about a solicitor in West Yorkshire. My current solicitor must be extremely busy as I've been unable to reach him or for him to return my calls and messages.

I have to be honest I'm in a real dark place. It's all still gradually sinking in. I cannot believe this is happening to me. I just pray that it comes to a conclusion fast.

[whatsgoingon?]

Yes, I can imagine you are in a very dark place. Getting a really good solicitor who specialises in false accusations (pref. who also has knowledge of immigration issues)
will help you no end in terms of helping you to understand what's going on, and what your position is. I can't stress just how important that is - try to get one who is recommended on here or twho you can check the track record of.

All you can really do for now is try to carry on as normal, don't bury yourself in a hole, try and have some times of distraction and enjoyment. These accusations often take a while to sort out, so be prepared for ups and downs. You're not alone, most people on here are also going through something similar or have been through it.
Keep coming back for support and advice when you need it.

Take care.

[myhome]

Hi - yes WGO is right - being FA'd puts us all in a very dark place and it's hard to see a way out of it. But, there is a way out and many people on here have come out he other side successfully and we've all cheered and posted bananas........

The range of emotions that we go through is huge and the swings from the peaks to the troughs is a swing I've certainly never experienced before, and it is really horrible....Have you sought advice from your GP? or counselling? Lots of us have found them to be very sympathetic and understanding...

Try to be involved with this forum as much as you can - with other threads and posts as well as yours. It really helps to read and respond to others because it helps to realise that everyone is experiencing pretty much the same as you are......keep strong and remember you're innocent.....

[tiftaf]

The CPS run the whole sorry story. Solicitors are just receptionists, over paid ones at that!

[accused1234]

Almost 7 months on and still the investigation to the allegation is still on-going. It hasn't even been submitted to the CPS yet. I will find out the faith of my future soon. I am innocent and victim of a vicious allegation. I will fight for my life till the truth comes out.

[myhome]

The waiting is indeed so very hard - I'm a year on and not been arrested or anything......keep strong - an up will always follow a down.....