Drug raped aged 15 ( 18 years ago )

[scottishgirl]

hi

im looking for advise ,i was drugged and raped aged 15 , i thought i knew the guy as we had been speaking for a while and he invited me to a party so i accepted , i didnt go to any party instead as soon as i went into his van he drugged me hidden in a drink of juice i was in and out of conciseness i felt paralysis and unable to speak properly , i woke up the next day in a strange house miles away from my home town and a blood stained bed and a used condom wrapper i wasnt sure what had happened as i was only young and Naive , so i left and went home , i was in a lot of pain so i went to my local clinic for a check up i had a swab done , and the nurse asked if i had sex in the past few days as far as i knew i had not so i replied no , i think she just assumed i was embarrassed but i genuinely hadn't had sex as far as i was aware , so i left and it wasnt until i had my first sexual partner at 17 that it all started piecing together , my boyfriend fell out with me he said i lied about being a virgin and i didnt lie , all i know about the guy is obviously his looks height etc and his first name and his place of employment , if i get hold of my medical records ( if they still have them from back then ) what is the chances of a charge ? i have not gone to the police in the past due to fear but i am not scared any more and i have a teenage daughter and the thought of him doing that to someone else sickens me ..any usful advise would be much appreciated ( we live and learn ) thank you in advance xx

[scottishgirl]

Cant beleive the amount of ppl that have viewed my message and just had a right Good read, that took a lot for me to write , there is only a few ppl that know what happened me obviously i was wrong looking for advise on here

[Casehardened]

Dear Scottishgirl,

Sorry you have not had any replies but this may be because the Scottish Justice system works differently to that in the UK and we are worried about giving the incorrect advice.

For instance, the procedure here in England and Wales would be for you to visit the police station and register a formal complaint against the guy. As you were under the AOC at the time he was in the wrong to to have sexual intercourse with you regardless of whether he thought he had your consent or not.

However I don't think you will get anywhere with the drug allegation now unless he admits administering it or you had a toxicality test when you went to the clinic.

It is good that you have had the courage to tell your story on here.

[Faith]

Hi Scottishgirl

That can be the problem with a public forum in that we get a lot of guests passing through seeking advice for their own problems by reading other's threads.
Many never take the time to register either through lack of courage or because they have found the answer they were looking for but their views will register on your thread.

Please believe me when I say our regular members will always take the time to give a response, even if it is just to offer comfort.

Casehardened is right, many of us have little knowledge of the way the Scottish system works and in that sense, would be unable to offer you any practical advice.

In terms of personal advice, you have been through a dreadful ordeal, and it is something that evidently still affects you to this day. You were violated at a time when you were naive and you had your virginity snatched from you in a very crude, painful and above all criminal way.

I wouldn't want to get your hopes up by suggesting it will be easy to bring this man to justice...it will not due to it being so historic. But, you may wish to make a report for personal reasons, for example to show your daughter that men like this shouldn't be able to carry out these actions without consequence.

One thing I would suggest as a priority is to either visit your GP for a referral to counselling or to contact a rape victim service in Scotland. There will be a lot of advice and help and support you can get from there.

In the meantime, please keep posting here for support. There are a lot of members here who will understand what you are going through. There are also some Scottish members who may be able to advise you in a more practical sense.

Please be patient for responses however and try to ignore the growing view count. Remember, that nobody reading your story knows who you are. There is no shame to be felt, you cannot be judged in any way.
You are a victim and you will get our support, I promise. Even if it is just kind words.
Take Care.

[Saffron]

Hi Scottishgirl, I'm sorry you find yourself here.
It takes a huge amount of courage to make your first post, so well done. You have taken the first steps towards healing.
Obviously this happened a long time ago, so there won't be any DNA or toxicology evidence. However there may be other people who have reported very similar assaults by similar people, and there might be DNA/tox results on those reports.
I wopuld urge you to talk to the police, and I KNOW you will be treated kindly.
Good luck x

[scottishgirl]

Hi there thank you so much for yourreplies , yes i think it will be Very difficult to prove I was drugged , I have sent a request to my doctors to view my Medical files as i did visit the Clínic a few days after it happened , I realise how dificult it will be to maybe even get to court , yes it would be great if when I go to the police they already have the guy on file , im Very nervous of seeing him again but I will not let this be the reason he walks free , which knowing scottish law he will , if he says he has never heard of me i do have a witness that can say otherwise as they met him , I have not told many ppl and it is such a relief to be able to speak on her , I have never had councilling but will be requesting it ASAP ....thank you Very much for ur advise and kind words its appreciated x

[Faith]

Things can be put in place so that you shouldn't need to come face to face with him at any point.
It will be difficult to get to court, but you can take pride in the fact that you have at least stood up to him. it will give him a bloody much needed shock if anything.
And, like Saffron says, if he has done it to you, he may have done it to others.

Good luck, keep coming back if you need to x

[scottishgirl]

i forgot i still have an item of clothing i was wearing , this is worth mentioning right?

I still have a piece of clothing I was wearing that day and it has not been washed that sounds awful lol but i was keeping it incase I ever went to the police , also I have a witness that met the guy , which is giving me great confidence maybe it wont go to court but at least im trying , thanks for all ur kind words and advice. X

[Denise]

It's better to have something that may not be needed than not have something that's needed
(If that makes sense)

Keep strong and good luck xx

[Saffron]

I agree with Denise. Keep that piece of clothing safe and if you take it with you when you report it could be vital.
Well done on having that presence of mind!

[scottishgirl]

Thank you , yes i have had no other way of dealing with it as i have only recently told ppl nd there is only 3 ppl that know , its great that I came accross this page as it is really helping me and I am just waiting on my medical reports coming back ( if they still have them ) I live in hope they do then i will proceed to the police , I was searching the Internet for similar incidents and I came across a Very similar incident in the same town and the man has the same name so hopefully they have him on file already which will make my process easier , I do wish I had reported it Long ago to prevent a reoffend , I have to wait up to 40 days for a reply from the clinic doctors etc its been a Long time coming and I do feel a sense of relief , obviously im quite nervous and scared but the result will be worth it , even if he gets off at least I can hold my head High and say he didnt win x x

[Faith]

That's a good attitude to have Scottishgirl.
If he is already on police file for this, then it might be easier to bring him to justice, especially with the piece of clothing. Not sure how long DNA sticks around but if it's unwashed then I'd imagine there might be something there...

But, like you say, whether or not it goes anywhere, you can take pride in the fact that you were brave enough to report it.

[scottishgirl]

I spoke to a police man ( a Very old friend ) about the clothing and he said as Long as i havnt washed it should be ok well Apart from maybe cross contamination so will give it a try I cant think properly any more this man has taken over my life I have Tried for years to block it out , he took something from me that I can never get back and it hurts like the worst hurt I could ever feel , I cant wait until I have everything needed to go to the policebi feel a huge sense of releif is well over due....

[Faith]

Have you spoken to your GP yet?
It really might help for you to have some support on this

[scottishgirl]

No not yet , I will speak to them though quick question Whats everyones thoughts on forensic hypnosis?