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**diana_holbourn** · 10 June 2005, 03:26 PM

I'm sure it's normal for people to go through bad phases once in a while and then get back to coping better again. I think a lot of people do that, especially if something reminds them of what happened, and it must be particularly stressful for you if you know a rape has taken place in your area and the perpetrator hasn't been caught, even if you're fairly sure that the chances of him picking on you are very small.

But it might help you feel a bit better if you think through answers to questions like:
What was it in particular you did with your counsellor that helped? Can you think of a substitute for it?
What were the suggestions you discussed that you found most helpful?
What was going on on your best days that made them better than the others?
If you started some days badly but then they got better, what was it that you did to cheer yourself up?
Are there any particular thoughts that might cheer you up if you reflect on them, like thoughts about how nice the future could be?
Are there any particular favourite activities of yours that might buck you up a bit?
Is there anyone of your family/friends who you have tended to feel better after talking to in the past who would be happy to listen now?
Would exercise help you get rid of any nervous tension or anxiety you feel? Can you think of any good exercises you could do in your home so they wouldn't involve going out for the time being?
Can you think of anything you've done in the past that particularly relaxed you, and would it be easy to do it now? For instance, have you been taught how to do slow, steady breathing exercises? Breathing slowly for a while can calm the system down.
Is there anything else stressful going on in your life, that you can change?

**Snoopyseed** · 13 June 2005, 11:38 AM

Hello Rachel,
The first thing you can do to help is be really honest with yourself. If you arent coping with things at the moment then dont be afraid to say how you feel, your freinds will understand!
If you speak to people tell them you are feeling panicky/stressed/agitated etc today.Please dont bottle up how you feel though or do what i have done and wear a 'mask' in public (you know the smily happy person you want people to see when really you are dying inside)
Eventually cracks begin to show through the mask and it just makes the whole matter worse.
Its natural to have good days and bad days, its even natural for the good days to carry on for a long time and then all of a sudden the bad days start again, even though you were well on the road to healing.
This is because sometimes we have little things that can trigger off responses in our subconscious mind, such as for example you dont feel comfy going out at the moment, and this came after you found out about a rape that happened in your area.We feel like this because its our safety mechanism kicking in, the flight or fight response.When you siffer an attack such as a rape you become overly sensitive inorder to protect yourself from what has happened, because you do not want it to happen again.So things that wouldnt normally bother you such as walking into a room with three other men suddenly become very scary and you feel frightened and panicky so avoid the situation compleltly.
What your describing could be the start of PTSD this is something you can discuss with your GP, and as for the counselling if you cant afford to go private there are other things such as therapies that can help.I found reiki to be wonderful in helping me to recover, so much so that my entire being now finally feels whole again, i even took Reiki up myself and help others with it, if you live close to me you can always email me privatly and if i live close to you i can see if i can help with this.If not you can always find out if there are any local support groups near you, your GP might have a list of them , there are also people like the rape crisis centres you can call as sometimes they offer counselling.
There are also supplements that you can take such as Bach Flower Rescue Remedy for panic attacks and low self esteem, Valerian to help you sleep, Ginseng to give you energy and a good multivitam and mineral supplement to keep your body in good condition as healing effects every level of your being.There are also things like yoga classes that are pretty cheap you can go to.Why Yoga? because yoga keeps the body supple making you feel good, it gets you out socialising, it boosts your immune system so you dont feel run down and tired, it also is like meditation for the mind, when we begin to heal our emotional bodies and our souls as well as our physical bodies we begin to see a real leap forward with our healing progress.

I hope that this has been of some help.

Blessings
Snoopy

**Snoopyseed** · 13 June 2005, 11:40 AM

Hello diane, i just have to say what a wonderful and thoughtful reply you gave to Rachel esp about the exercise and breathing techniques!

Blessings
Snoopy :P

**diana_holbourn** · 13 June 2005, 12:26 PM

Thanks Snoopy. Well, I hope my reply helped anyway.

**Rachel** · 14 June 2005, 12:51 PM

Hi diana, Thanks for the advice. Feelings a bit better now. Just hit a time were things are getting on top of me.
The questions have been great in getting my thoughts together.

**diana_holbourn** · 14 June 2005, 08:11 PM

I'm glad the questions were helpful and you're feeling a bit better. Hope things continue to improve.

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I know I said I'm coping but is this normal?

I know I said I'm coping but is this normal?

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