some1 plz help i'm losing it

[whydidithappen]

hello every1 I dont know where to start this from but i just think i need some help here. I've been with my girlffriend for a year now and we've had a very sweet relationship but on a sunday after seeing her and left she went to her friend's house and her friend's boyfriend was there and then her friend went out leaving her with her boyfriend who later called 2 of his friends waiting outside and to cut the long story short she was raped and her friend whom she's being there for all this years sat and watched the sad thing. And it took hours of persuasion and words of assurance before my girlfriend would tell me this and,now i dont just know what to do i cant just really come to terms with the fact that some1 i have ever fall in love with got raped by strangers. Now she is just scared even scared of me she thinks i'm going to leave her but i've told her many times that this as not changed the way i feel about her one bit but still she feels insecured about everything even to the point of thinking i would get sex from another girl just to hit back on her because she blames herself and thinks i'm blaming her as well.
I just need an advise on what to do about this because i cant imagine myself losing her at all and this as really severed the way she sees us together, i cant even sleep well or think straight whenever i think about it tears drip down my face and i cant tell anyone i'm the only person she's told and i just want to help her and still be with her she's the only girl i've ever loved.
i hope some1 sees sense in what i'm saying 'cos she hesitates to pick my calls now. I've got my course work to hand-in and exams round the corner just 2 wks from now i think i'm losing it

[diana_holbourn]

I think you should suggest she gets counselling. Here's a link that she might find useful if you give it to her, to a page with many links to help sites, and also to places where people in the UK can ring up and get counselling. It begins with UK sites and organisations, and then goes on to worldwide websites, and also has a section on links to sites with advice on the best ways of helping someone you love who's been raped. I think the more understanding and supportive you try to be, the less likely you are to lose her, so reading the advice will be useful:
http://survive.org.uk/links.html

She could go to the police, but this might be tough, as the conviction rate is much much lower for people who have spent any time with their attackers beforehand than it is for people who don't know them at all, and also it'll be difficult now there will be less evidence because she's left it a while, although it's understandable that she would. But perhaps you could suggest she speaks to people like Rape Crisis or Victim Support about what they think her chances will be and what she could do to maximise them.

Rape Crisis should be understanding, because I think the people who work there are survivors of rape themselves so she won't have to worry about talking to them so much because they should sympathise with her.