My Girlfriend was raped at 13

[Phaz3]

First of all there are some great support pages out there

Ok My Girlfriend of 7 months was raped 4 years ago when she was 13 he was 23 she told me about 1 month into the relationship and I never really knew about all of the support there is out there for someone like me I always knew there was support for her. Now about 7 days ago i metioned there seemed to be some tension between her and I, I absolutely love her and I know she loves me and my family.

Her parents do not know about her being raped 4 years ago and also think she lies about evrything. I also found out that she was lying to me and her parents although she was not lying about the rape as I remember one night she was over and she was asleep and I heard her say "Why did he do it to me" and "I was only 13" no how can she be lying about this as she was dreaming at the time.

At the time I did not know what to do as I never thought to look on the internet for anything. so I just did all I could do and that was Hold her this was the only time I seen her cry except for the other day when I saw her.
no after I told her I felt tension I got a msg 2 days later saying that she felt it to and that she would like to take a break for awhile. Now this was a shock to me i was so confused as to why and she did not know.

On sunday a friend of mine told me to look on the net for this type of help,
I saw her on monday 2 days after she told me and it is now wednesday yet on monday I went over her house to see her and speak to her she was not her cheery and usual self she just sat there in her room light off blank look on her face now I asked about the lying and only half of wat she ever told me was true.

Now I am not going to give up on her I love her to much and when I sat there talking to her about all of this and hugging her she seemed to cheer up with mention of my family and the fact she can talk to my mum about anything with a few laughs and the smile I adore and then she told me to tell my mum everything as she loves my mum so much and my mum loves her, Also she did not belieive why I am helping her and she thinks I am way to good for her which I denied the whole time. I have not seen her since this conversation and I just left a message for her to call me back I have found out so much more since then about supporting her. I am giving her time which she asked for I just dont want to lose her as she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Any thoughts would be great as this is the only fourm I could find as I am in Australia.

Sorry long story but she is worth everthing to me

[diana_holbourn]

I think you seem to be doing the right things. The more you show her you care and reassure her that you think a lot of her, and try to understand her by finding out about information that could help, the more likely she is to be confident in you.

If she doesn't want to talk much about her experiences at any time, don't try to persuade her. She'll probably talk when she feels comfortable about doing so.

[nat5239]

Originally posted by Phaz3@3rd November 2004 - 09:58 AM
First of all there are some great support pages out there

Ok My Girlfriend of 7 months was raped 4 years ago when she was 13 he was 23 she told me about 1 month into the relationship and I never really knew about all of the support there is out there for someone like me I always knew there was support for her. Now about 7 days ago i metioned there seemed to be some tension between her and I, I absolutely love her and I know she loves me and my family.

Her parents do not know about her being raped 4 years ago and also think she lies about evrything. I also found out that she was lying to me and her parents although she was not lying about the rape as I remember one night she was over and she was asleep and I heard her say "Why did he do it to me" and "I was only 13" no how can she be lying about this as she was dreaming at the time.

At the time I did not know what to do as I never thought to look on the internet for anything. so I just did all I could do and that was Hold her this was the only time I seen her cry except for the other day when I saw her.
no after I told her I felt tension I got a msg 2 days later saying that she felt it to and that she would like to take a break for awhile. Now this was a shock to me i was so confused as to why and she did not know.

On sunday a friend of mine told me to look on the net for this type of help,
I saw her on monday 2 days after she told me and it is now wednesday yet on monday I went over her house to see her and speak to her she was not her cheery and usual self she just sat there in her room light off blank look on her face now I asked about the lying and only half of wat she ever told me was true.

Now I am not going to give up on her I love her to much and when I sat there talking to her about all of this and hugging her she seemed to cheer up with mention of my family and the fact she can talk to my mum about anything with a few laughs and the smile I adore and then she told me to tell my mum everything as she loves my mum so much and my mum loves her, Also she did not belieive why I am helping her and she thinks I am way to good for her which I denied the whole time. I have not seen her since this conversation and I just left a message for her to call me back I have found out so much more since then about supporting her. I am giving her time which she asked for I just dont want to lose her as she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Any thoughts would be great as this is the only fourm I could find as I am in Australia.

Sorry long story but she is worth everthing to me

Quoted post

I never told my parents that i was raped untill recently and i also found it easier to talk to other people. Its good that your there for her and im sure she is so happy that she has you to help her thro this. She probably feels overwhelmed by your help and confused by the whole thing. I know it was 4 years ago but these symptoms can last a long time ( they did with me) mention counselling to her but dont force her, tell her you will go with her and she may feel more comfortable with that. If she says no then at least she knows she has you wen she evntually decides to go. I think your doing a fantastic job of coping, its difficult for people tp understand who havent experienced it, and you also need to look after yourself, she will be changing moods all the time, just dont take things to much to heart

she is very lucky to have someone like you