what do i do - my friend told me he has fantasy's of rape

[waz]

okay so a ex-friend told me he has fantasy's of being and raping ppl
what the hell do i do now i mean if i see him on the street i dont know wether to ignore him or smack him im very emotional when it comes to rape my sister was raped 3 times so all the emotion from that seems to wanna come out when i see him

[diana_holbourn]

He needs to be stopped, because rapists often start fantasizing about raping people some time before they start, so maybe if he's left to continue, he'll go on to do worse things! Sometimes, rapists are a bit like school bullies in that they think about what they'd like to do without understanding the impact it will have on the person they do it to. If they can be made to understand it, sometimes they can be helped to stop. Maybe he ought to read articles about the emotional impact rape can have on people before he does anyone any real damage. I hope he hasn't. Here are a couple of articles. Maybe you can print them out and get someone who knows him to put them where he'll find them or give them to him saying they think he ought to read them?
Rape Trauma Syndrome: The Journey to Healing Belongs to Everyone
http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/journey.html
From Victim to Survivor:
http://survive.org.uk/recovery.html

But from another perspective, It may be that he's worried by his fantasies and would like to get rid of them. Some people with OCD-type conditions can have thoughts about harming people that they find very distressing, because they wouldn't want to harm them at all. Or looking at porn can make people fantasize about worse and worse things the worse porn they look at. It can be addictive. But they can feel guilty about it after each session, and may worry that if it gets worse, they'll start acting out what they see, and they really need help for their addictive behaviour. Or they might fantasize about doing things they wouldn't really want to do, just to confirm in their minds that it wouldn't be a good idea to do them. Finding out what people think of their fantasies before criticizing them for them is probably the best policy.

[Snoopyseed]

Originally posted by diana_holbourn@21st October 2004 - 04:36 PM
He needs to be stopped, because rapists often start fantasizing about raping people some time before they start, so maybe if he's left to continue, he'll go on to do worse things! Sometimes, rapists are a bit like school bullies in that they think about what they'd like to do without understanding the impact it will have on the person they do it to. If they can be made to understand it, sometimes they can be helped to stop. Maybe he ought to read articles about the emotional impact rape can have on people before he does anyone any real damage. I hope he hasn't. Here are a couple of articles. Maybe you can print them out and get someone who knows him to put them where he'll find them or give them to him saying they think he ought to read them?
Rape Trauma Syndrome: The Journey to Healing Belongs to Everyone
http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/journey.html
From Victim to Survivor:
http://survive.org.uk/recovery.html

Quoted post

The person who raped me often told his 'friends' that he had a fantasy of raping a women one day. Unfortuantly that women was me.
I would suggest that you have a strong word in his shell like, that rape is actually against the law, and an imprisonable offence, and to have 'fantasys' of raping another, requires immediate psychiatric review.
Snoopy

[maria]

he needs reporting even tho he might be put on file this is terrible if i knew who he was i would go straight to the police he is a very very DANGEROUS MAN go and talk to the police about him please

[Saffron]

I am not sure that the police will be able to do anything - unless he has broken the law. Having sexual fantasies, however depraved and sick, is not illegal. Plenty of fantasies remain where they belong - in the person's head - and never get acted out.

Does he acknowledge that his fantasies are fundamentally evil? If he does not, then I would guess he is far more likely to be a genuine danger.

I would mirror Snoopy's advice, and have a strong word with him. Perhaps he would benefit from some counselling or psychiatric help.