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He's found not guilty... now what happens to me?

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  • #1

    He's found not guilty... now what happens to me?

    [SIZE=7][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]

    OK... Keeping it short....

    I was raped by my ex husband in May. This week (sept/04) he was found 'not guilty.' He's now free to go where he likes and will want access to our children. He made threats to me and my boyfriend before and during the court case, and is making them now. He is likely to turn up at any time. His family and friends are also making threats..... by phone and text. I was made out to be a liar at the trial, so, reporting it now will seem like ME being the trouble maker still. So I ask you,... What rights/protection/choices do I have? I don't want to live in fear, looking over my shoulder everywhere I go, jumping at every knock on the door, fearing he'll turn up at my childrens school.....

    I need help but don't know where to go...

    Shell
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  • #2
    If you can show the police some of the text messages he sends you, then they ought to believe you. And then if you tell them he's making malicious phone calls, they apparently have a duty to make sure your calls are taped so he can be caught doing it. According to someone who posted on here a while ago, if they catch him committing three offences, he could be in "serious" trouble. Have a look at the information provided here:
    http://www.wiredsafety.org/gb/stalking/
    It says that it could be punishable by a prison sentence of up to six months, or the court could make a restraining order against him and if he breaks it, he could get up to five years. And it says that alternatively, you could get a restraining order on him through a solicitor. The Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to give you information about who to speak to and what happens.
    My self-help articles on problems ranging from depression and phobias to marriage difficulties, to looking after children and teenagers, to addictions and destructive behaviours like anorexia, to bullying, to losing weight, to debating skills: http://broadcaster.org.uk/self-help
    And my article: How to Avoid Falling for Many False Claims or Fears of the Supernatural

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    • #3
      I echo everthing written by diana, and also make sure you keep a mobile phone with you and dont hesitate to call 999 if you feel frightened if this man turns up, you have witnesses and hopefully have kept text messages etc, that you should show to the police, it doesnt matter what happened in the trial at the moment, this matter can be dealt with later on, but for now concentrate on yours and your childs saftey, i am by no means a housing officer but i do know other survivors who have asked the council to move them (if you are a council tenant that is) and thye have moved area.As for the children again i am not a solicitor, and am only going on what i know from members of my group who have told me that in their case once the father was found to be violent/stalker.abuser etc, access was limited to the children and visits were only granted with a social worker present, and in one case one of my members was told that the father was denied access completly, i dont know the ins and outs of these types of cases, for this you would need proffesional advice, there are local citizens advice bureus around that may be able to help you, but the main point is to make sure for now you will be safe, have you considered extra security for your home, i also know from my members that have contacted the police that the police came round and advised her on recent safety and security measures, you could always pop into your local police station and ask for some advice about this, i hope this is fo some help, but as always the best route to take is to seek proffeisonal advice.
      Good luck, oh and one more thing, every time he texts, phones, writes etc keep a record and make a log of when he called round etc.
      Snoopy
      "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."

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      • #4
        Regarding the text messages, I was talking to someone from Orange a few months back and apparently they keep records of all text messages sent and received in case the police wish to look at them.

        I've no idea how long they keep them for, or if all phone companies do it, but it's certainly worth asking your mobile phone company if they have the records. Tell them you would like to pass on the information to the police, rather that getting it yourself, as it should make them a bit more co-operative in divulging info.
        I'd diet but I'm not in the moooo-d

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        • #5
          Thanx for your support and suggestions....

          We've started to record the calls as they come in. I've had a quiet week up until today, Saturday. He's at his Mothers house whose phone is free to use on weekends.... Early this morning he started calling, threatening me and my family.... We would be beat up, cut up, if not by him then some 'friends' of his. They'll break windows, smash cars etc. He'll claim half the house contents as his, loss of earnings for being tried, instead of access he'll want custody of our children..... The threats, abuse,..... All this is on tape with his mothers phone company registering the calls. I'll see what happens Sunday and then visit the local police station.....

          Once again, thank you for your help

          Shell x

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