Accused, charges dropped but still living the nightmare.

[Shining bright]

I would like to to start with the a positive, which I hope will give some of you here strength. My teenage son was falsely accused of rape, placed under investigation and told no further action after two and a half months. It was hell at the time and after reading the posts here I want you to know that justice takes time. It felt like years!
I’m now asking for your help because my son is struggling with flashbacks of being taken to a cell in the middle of the night where he was kept for 14 hours until being questioned and released back to us “on suicide watch”.
Until that point he was a calm, polite and very together young man. No reason for suicidal thoughts at all!
He’s struggling and I don’t know where to go to get help.
He had to see CAMHS as part of the investigation “to help him” but this just traumatized him even further and he never wants to go back to that place.Understandably.
He’s now 16 and has asked to talk to someone but I don’t know where to start.
Any advice would be great. I just want my son back!

[Casehardened]

I can't really offer any useful advice as to who your son could talk to but just wanted to formally welcome you to the forum.

The standard advice is seek help from your GP but perhaps this would only result in another referral to CAMHS?

Sadly his feelings are not unusual, although everything is more vivid and memorable when you are young, as most members of this forum will agree that that the memories of being arrested and processed never completely disappear but do fade over time.

[Franticwithworry]

I'm so sorry that your son is struggling but not surprised. This is a dreadful accusation to have to deal with as a grown man, but for one so young the damage is even more incalculable.

My suggestion is, that if he hasn't already done so, that he contacts his GP and asks for a mental health referral. At his age he is not a child but he's not really a fully-fledged adult, so going with him to a doctor's appointment would be a good idea if he's willing. (That said, my husband and I are approaching our 70's and we generally go with one another to appointments, so it's not really anything to do with being a child.)

Also the mental health charity MIND is a good start. They have a helpline and details can be found online if you google 'MIND'.

If he's struggling and in immediate need of someone to talk to, the Samaritans are always available. It's a voluntary organisation, and not every volunteer is as experienced as every other, so don't let him be put off if he doesn't find it as helpful as he might, just encourage him to call again. He doesn't have to be suicidal at the time of the call or anything close.

I hope those 3 suggestions get you going in the right direction. Please let us know how things go, because there are other things I can suggest if needed.

for you both.

[Peter1975]

Great advice from Frantic as always there.

The most valuable thing your son has is your support.

As CH says, memories do fade over time. You can reassure him that things will get better.

It's quite common for symptoms of PTSD to develop, as well as trust issues but these get better with time and the right people around too.

I can't better the advice above as far as having someone to talk to is concerned.

Does he have friends for support too? I know the youngsters don't go to the park for a kick around like they used to but it might do him the world of good to realise that life goes on - sometimes just doing normal things is therapy in itself, or at least a break from overthinking.