Feeling angry and soiled

[Cris]

I have recently been shaken by having two Police officers turn up to my house and issue me with a Suspect notification letter stating I have been accused of rape but the victim does not want to give evidence and the case has been closed.
This has left me angry and feeling really soiled, to be accused of the most abhorrent of crimes.

Brief background. I had a relationship with a work colleague which lasted between 2008 and 2011. We both have partners and after it finished we stayed friends. I have since told my partner about my infidelity and we have worked through it so I am very lucky and I feel regret for being an idiot.

Recently her husband found a message from me on her phone and decided to use software to recover deleted items and saw we were more than friends years ago. He then set about death threats etc to me and a systematic programme of abuse against her, trapping her in the house, taking over all her social media accounts etc. She phoned me last month saying I could not contact her but it was him emailing her pretending to be me etc. She told me she was being physically and verbally abused and had tried to kill herself. I called social services who were already on the case.
To the best of my knowledge and knowing her very well he has marched her to the police station to get her to say I raped her I suppose because he does not want to believe she would be with another man by consent. He is a dangerous guy and is emotionally torturing her. She has told me it was her who spoke to the police (although I still think he might intercept her emails) because she wants it all to stop and I should never contact her again.

So my question is this:
I have loads of evidence, years of communications, pics, witnesses etc to disprove this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Do I drag this through court and eventually sue for damages and clear my name? I do not want to cause her hurt but what will her psycho husband do next will this come up again when he next has a breakdown??
Or
Do I forget about; but it really bothers me my name being on a database somewhere next to a rape allegation, also the letter said in extreme circumstances it could show on a DBS check.

Thanks for any advice or guidance.

[Peter1975]

I have recently been shaken by having two Police officers turn up to my house and issue me with a Suspect notification letter stating I have been accused of rape but the victim does not want to give evidence and the case has been closed.
This has left me angry and feeling really soiled, to be accused of the most abhorrent of crimes.

Brief background. I had a relationship with a work colleague which lasted between 2008 and 2011. We both have partners and after it finished we stayed friends. I have since told my partner about my infidelity and we have worked through it so I am very lucky and I feel regret for being an idiot. ....

So my question is this:
I have loads of evidence, years of communications, pics, witnesses etc to disprove this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Do I drag this through court and eventually sue for damages and clear my name? I do not want to cause her hurt but what will her psycho husband do next will this come up again when he next has a breakdown??
Or
Do I forget about; but it really bothers me my name being on a database somewhere next to a rape allegation, also the letter said in extreme circumstances it could show on a DBS check.

Thanks for any advice or guidance.

Hi Cris, I'm sorry that you had to find us but hopefully we can provide some support and point you in the right direction.

I seem to write about taking good legal advice on every post I make but there is a reason for this! Case specific legal advice is always going to be better than someone like me taking a guess on a forum. I would urge you to make some calls. Our recommended sols thread is in the useful information section

I have to say that a suspect identification letter is a new one on me but the scenario you imagine, where the BF/partner has called the police and she has refused to make a formal statement is a very common scenario. Complainants refusing to co operate with an investigation is far and away the leading reason behind NFA decisions.

Once upon a time the police would have "no crime'd" this report but in a classic example of hard cases making bad law, this all changed in 2004 after child murderer Ian Huntley was found to have no less than 9 previous contacts with police regarding under age sex completely expunged from his records. Nowadays only proving innocence beyond reasonable doubt will be reason enough to have records expunged.

The good news is that less than 1% of non conviction information is revealed on DBS checks and these are limited to enhanced DBS checks where someone might be working with children or vulnerable adults. There are ways to challenge anything that might be revealed and an entire legal industry that specialises in representing those such as yourself if necessary.

Anything said to police is subject to legal privilege, meaning that you cannot sue for damages unless the allegations are repeated elsewhere and I will offer two cautionary tales here, Freddie Starr lost over £1Million when he sued his accuser for repeating allegations in the press and lost the case and occasional Daftmoo member and one time millionaire Alexander Economou was made bankrupt after a 5 year fight against the father of his false accuser, who despite very good evidence to suggest his daughter lied, continued to label AE as a rapist in the press. - You can read his blog here :

https://www.accused.blog/

The short version is that I recommend you take legal advice, keep every piece of evidence, text, emails etc ( and I mean keep forever ) but I would say that, depending on your area of employment, this is unlikely to have very much impact on your life and it's probably better that you just let it go.