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So upsetting. Any advice greatfully recieved

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  • So upsetting. Any advice greatfully recieved

    I'm in the middle of a court battle over the care of our daughter. We've both had 50/50 care for over two years now.
    Ex's boyfriend is some kind of court / legal person. Knows his way around the systems.

    Last year there was some issue - not sure what the cause - but was getting evil looks from him when dropping off daughter.
    Couple of weeks later I complain to ex about her persistent lateness. This causes her bf to come to my house, hammering on door and threatening to hit me if I ever talk to her again. My daughter was right next to me, frightened. I reported it to the Police.

    To get revenge and to build a court case for more custardy, she claimed i was emotionally abusing daughter, claimed I had sent her malicious text messages (I was arrested, phone searched, no messages, all dropped (but it was very upsetting).
    She told the child court cafcass officer that my mum is an alcoholic (she seldom drinks)
    Anyway the cafcass officer saw through it all, the school are happy that my daughter is happy and also daughter states she wants care to remain 50-50. The cafcass report states to continue equal care.

    However, I've now been telephoned by the police, ex is now making a rape allegation. I am devastated. I have been told to attend the station for an interview.

    So gutted. I explained on the phone to the police officer it wasn't true, and if there had been any truth to it at all it would have been the very first thing she had written in her child court application, write next to all the "emotional abuse" she has claimed. She must be a sociopath, how can she dish out so much hurt and lies just to get what she wants for herself? I think Ill never trust another person again.
    I'm a teacher by the way, I am also worried I will lose my job or get suspended or something

    :-(

  • #2
    Hello and welcome to DM,

    I'm so very sorry to read your troubles but please be assured that you are not alone.

    Your ex sounds like a classic sociopath and her BF is no better, or possibly worse and egging her on.

    It is rather late in the day for the rape allegation to be made as you surmise and it seems a rather desperate last throw of the dice on her part. Especially with the previous false allegation of malicious communications. ( there are two phones involved so where are her copies of these "threatening messages" ??! - Not impossible that someone could buy a sim card and send them from an unknown number but still, this seems like a poor attempt to smear you )

    You need to get yourself a good criminal solicitor for your police interview and make good use of their time before being interviewed. A brief timeline of events will help them pick up the facts of the case quickly. I would suggest that the background should be mentioned on tape but please be advised by your solicitor.

    Your options are basically to answer their questions or to provide a written statement and answer no comment. You may also be advised to provide a written statement and answer questions. Your solicitor will guide you.

    Our recommended sols thread is here; Right's Fighters recommendations are the most reliable.

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

    Given the background, I wouldn't expect this to go beyond an interview but it may be some time before the police make a decision. Hopefully you will get a police that is sympathetic to your plight and they will quickly dispose of the case but the police can be notoriously slow, especially if they need to communicate with other agencies unfortunately.

    I am hoping that you have a solicitor for the ongoing custody case and that you are keeping them informed of events.

    Please keep your chin up, I have no words to describe people that make false allegations or use children as pawns but to be noble and do the right thing is always the antidote to their poison.

    You will get through this. Keep posting for support.

    Other places you might find support would include PAFAA ( See my signature ), accused.me.uk, FASO, Families need fathers and fathers 4 justice.
    For reliable legal aided advice in the London or home counties area, contact Harvey Fox of Freemans Solicitors, London. ( Private clients nationwide) :
    https://freemanssolicitors.net/team_members/harvey-fox/


    To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit https://pafaaorg.wordpress.com/


    For help and advice with appealing convictions visit https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-pacso-forums/

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    • #3
      Thanks, no I don't have a solicitor for the family court custardy battle, but I have been using a barrister for the actual hearings (you can hire them on a direct access basis).

      I hadn't sent any malicious messages, although there were defo some corkers sent between us both in the first couple of months of our breakup. When she got me arrested for the "malicious messages" we hadn't really sent many messages for over a year, other than general childcare pickup messages etc. I made an official complaint to the police for arresting me, I stated that how could I be arrested on the basis of messages over a year old, etc, and with me being a teacher surely I ought to have been asked for interview instead. I had to wait over 9 hours in solitary looking at the ceiling not knowing why I was there. The police did an investigation and sent me their report findings. Apparently the ex had been visited by a policewoman, who was shown recent messages where I was complaining about her punctuality (nothing malicious at all), and the report states the policewoman was told "I have other messages but I cant show them to you as they are on my old phone and I have changed phone since then". It's unbelievable really. I hadn't deleted anything in my phone ever, and so when they finally downloaded my phone and looked in it (three months later) they gave my phone back and dropped it all. "when i looked in his phone and saw there were no malicious messages I returned the phone to him".

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