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Falsely Accused Of Rape - Need Help!!!

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  • Falsely Accused Of Rape - Need Help!!!

    Hi, All

    STORY

    Back in 2018 during March, I went clubbing with a group of friends to a night club in my local town just your average Saturday night out. I was in the night club dancing with my friends having a great time, fast forward 1 hour later we are on the bottom floor of the night club. All my guy and female friends are dancing together. I began to dance with a female friend who’s [18 years old] and 4 months away from been [19 years old] at the time I was [20 years old] and 5 months from been [21 years old].

    I and my female friend start to dance together then suddenly we just looked at each other and began kissing. All of our friends were surprised but cheering us on and we both carried on. We spent the night together with my friends and continued to dance together for the night and kissing and all over each other. Fast forward 2 hours later, we all leave the night club early as it’s not lively enough for us. I leave the club with the girl and we are holding hands and kissing down the street. Then we went somewhere quiet and carried on kissing and nearly had sexual intercourse in public place but we didn’t. We catch up with the rest of our friends and all catch a taxi together to my friend's house.

    We arrive at my friend's house, everyone is in good spat laughing joking about playing card games etc. I’m in the toilet with a girl further kissing and nearly have sexual intercourse in my friend's bathroom. But we don’t and go into the lounge and hang out with others and play the games and just chat the night away. Later on, we all go to bed, I’m sleeping on my friend's bedroom on the floor. I and the girl start having a conversation and saying to each other let’s ****. She asks me so I want to have sex I said yes and she does as well. We then have sexual intercourse for 5 minutes our friends could hear us and we’re laughing and one of our friends was close to us who was drunk said you are dirty freaks and laughs then sleeps. I asked her to go on top during sexual intercourse and she said no, so I carried on but I told I couldn’t I was struggling and then stopped and went to sleep.

    I’m the morning after me and the girl agreed to never speak of what happened because we were ashamed. But she was more embarrassed because I used to be friends with her ex-boyfriend and she didn’t want him to know. She then left and went downstairs and cuddled my friend and tried it on with the morning after. Then later on she left and was just moody and embarrassed and upset and got dropped home.

    My Relationship With The Female

    •Known each other for years
    •Hanged around together with friends
    •Spoke regularly
    •Went to similar social events
    •Booked up with friends
    •She dated my ex-best friend

    - At the time I slept with her we weren’t in contact much just a little bit every so often

    Instagram Message -

    Two weeks later I get a message via Instagram direct messenger from her saying the following “Do you have any STD or AIDS” I reply no I get myself checked out regularly then she’s alright with that and we stay having a normal conversation and we speak about normal things.

    5 months later -

    I’m out with a friend on Saturday night enjoying my evening in a night club. I and my friend go into the smoking area to have a cigarette. Then 2 minutes later a guy who I know who regularly goes out asks to speak to me in private. He asks me if I had Raped the girl ************ I say no and get extremely upset and angry by remaining calm and have the conversation. I tell him this the first I’ve heard this information and why would be our clubbing if I did such a thing. I then ask him who told him and he tells me all the information about what he was told.

    The person who told this guy is an old friend of mine who I used to hang out with but lost contact. This person is the guy who was extremely drunk at my friend's house and laughed at me and the girl *********. [He began sleeping around eight female for short period of time] I called him on the phone and questioned him why he was making such rumours go around and he explained that’s how the made it seem when he asked her about sleeping with myself. He also told the girl said to him “why didn’t you stop him”. I believe she told him this because she’s embarrassed for sleeping with me and I’m not exactly top looking lad. I’ve had my ex ask me if I slept with this girl in question and I told her yes I did and I asked her how she found. She told me the girl ********** I slept with told her so she’s told others I’ve slept with then told someone else different thing.

    I have been very sad and depressed due to this whole situation my mental health has exploded I’m constantly thinking and losing the plot. A week ago I nearly crashed twice while driving due to stress and not in control of my mind. I’ve lost a huge amount of weight and my work performance is down extremely and it’s concerning my management. I have had thoughts about suicide frequently and just feeling so low. Been accused of something like this is horrible even if you aren’t charged or investigated people make there own judgement.

    People Around Me -

    I haven’t had the girl contact me at all or any contact since
    I haven’t had any person come up to me and asks me questions about the girl
    I haven’t had any of her friends contact me or family members
    I haven’t heard anything on social media about me I have friends keeping an eye out
    I haven’t had a police interview or been questioned at all
    I haven’t had any messages from anyone

    Things I’ve done so far -

    •Blocked the female on all social media platforms and blocked her friends and family.
    •Removed my self ok social media platforms
    •Stopped going out so I do not bump into her
    •Stopped going out in local places or anywhere where I could potentially see her
    •Written down all events and things that happen on the evening
    •Spoke to my friend who let us stay at his house and explained everything [ He said that’s not true and would back me up if needed]
    •Read information on what to do if arrested and questioned etc.

    Plus her ex-boyfriend works there and he doesn’t like me so I think it’s best I leave just to be on the safe side of things. I'm leaving my job soon because I get the bus and there's a chance I could see the girl, I’ve seen her since we had sexual intercourse clubbing and she hasn’t said anything she just looked at me this before I knew what she had told that person.


    Sorry for the massive amount of text. If anyone has any general or more specific advice then I'll appreciate it a lot. Thanks for everything.

  • #2
    Hello and welcome to the forum (though sorry to read of the circumstances that brought you here!)

    It does seem that the girl has not taken her allegations to the police and as you are wisely avoiding any contact it may well happen that you will both be able to move on from this incident.

    Don't be tempted to make any counter allegations especially to the police; on occasions forum members have complained to the police about being harassed with these false allegations and what usually happens is that the police then open an investigation on the premise that the allegation might be true.
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi, thank you for your responsive message back regarding the situation I am currently dealing with. It’s very frustrating that someone would make such false allegations, just make her self feel better about been embarrassed. I still don’t understand how someone can lie after having consensual sex and then lie about it?!

      I used to have messages from her on social media but she deleted her accounts and created new social media accounts. On the night we were all out I obtained a picture from the night club where we are in a photograph together. In the picture she’s hugging me and smiling I don’t if that picture is useful or not.

      I have also obtained photographs and videos of her still clubbing with other guys. In these pictures, it’s her still out at the same time with other guys been very close and also touching her (bottom). I don’t know if that’s good stuff or not.

      The worst part is that I can’t focus on myself I’m constantly on the edge just hopeless. I know she hasn’t gone to the police but it’s just a horrible position to be in and I don’t wish it upon anyone!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Unknown_Person View Post
        Hi, thank you for your responsive message back regarding the situation I am currently dealing with. It’s very frustrating that someone would make such false allegations, just make her self feel better about been embarrassed. I still don’t understand how someone can lie after having consensual sex and then lie about it?!

        I used to have messages from her on social media but she deleted her accounts and created new social media accounts. On the night we were all out I obtained a picture from the night club where we are in a photograph together. In the picture she’s hugging me and smiling I don’t if that picture is useful or not.

        I have also obtained photographs and videos of her still clubbing with other guys. In these pictures, it’s her still out at the same time with other guys been very close and also touching her (bottom). I don’t know if that’s good stuff or not.

        The worst part is that I can’t focus on myself I’m constantly on the edge just hopeless. I know she hasn’t gone to the police but it’s just a horrible position to be in and I don’t wish it upon anyone!

        Keep hold of the screenshots and discuss them with your solicitor should you need one - and let's hope you don't.

        Solid advice from the ever wise CH above, hopefully this will all blow over in a couple of weeks - just make sure you don't make things worse in the meantime!

        Get to your doctor and tell them what is happening, there is no shame in asking for help while you deal with a stressful situation.

        Keep cool and carry on. You've done nothing wrong.
        For reliable legal aided advice in the London or home counties area, contact Harvey Fox of Freemans Solicitors, London. ( Private clients nationwide) :
        https://freemanssolicitors.net/team_members/harvey-fox/


        To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit https://pafaaorg.wordpress.com/


        For help and advice with appealing convictions visit https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-pacso-forums/

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Unknown_Person View Post
          Hi, thank you for your responsive message back regarding the situation I am currently dealing with. It’s very frustrating that someone would make such false allegations, just make her self feel better about been embarrassed. I still don’t understand how someone can lie after having consensual sex and then lie about it?!

          I used to have messages from her on social media but she deleted her accounts and created new social media accounts. On the night we were all out I obtained a picture from the night club where we are in a photograph together. In the picture she’s hugging me and smiling I don’t if that picture is useful or not.

          I have also obtained photographs and videos of her still clubbing with other guys. In these pictures, it’s her still out at the same time with other guys been very close and also touching her (bottom). I don’t know if that’s good stuff or not.

          The worst part is that I can’t focus on myself I’m constantly on the edge just hopeless. I know she hasn’t gone to the police but it’s just a horrible position to be in and I don’t wish it upon anyone!

          Hi

          If you have a Facebook account you can download all the messages and photographs etc you have posted including ones from accounts that are now closed. https://www.facebook.com/help/www/930396167085762 . I do not know about instragram etc

          Pond31

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi, thank you for the relevant information regarding Facebook. I never use Facebook anyway so I won't need to do jay but I do thank you for taking the time and getting that information.

            Regarding the messages with this female, she only asked “Have had self-checked at the sex clinic because I don't want anything” so she was worried about catching something. Then after that, we started talking and had a normal conversation etc. Why would message someone who “raped“ you??!

            But I have to take the necessary steps to ensure I’m not viable on social media! Because I believe if she sees pictures or videos etc on social media of me enjoying or living my life it will only make her want to destroy me or cause problems.

            I have obtained screenshots of her with other guys and also videos. And an image of me and her week later clubbing after we had consensual sex. I have also got written statement just in case and also got phone numbers of solicitors incase and money saved up for a court case. I’ve done all these things As a precaution and safety measure. Hopefully, I’ll never have to do this thing ever again and I can move on.

            In three months time, it would be 1 year exactly since I slept with her.

            The position I am in at the moment is ok because I haven’t heard any rumours seen anything bad on social media from others or had anyone come to me and ask me questions and of course police interview etc. I am grateful to the young gentleman in the nightclub who told me this rumour because it hadn’t told me. I would have bumped into that female thinking she’s my friend and then she shouts rapist and cause a massive scene I would be in a completely different position.

            Comment


            • #7
              False accused

              I sort of know. How your are feeling my sons ex girlfriend as accused him of rape she got pregnant and cause they disagreed abouy keepimg the baby my son only 17 at the time she turned on him rang the police and. Told . Them he had hit her in the past and had raped her. 8 months down the line my son as not been arrested and. Not been charged with anything. She still attempts to cause trouble by saying things hoping it will get back to. Him and. He will cause. Trouble so she can ring. Police again girl ladies who do falsely accuse people need to be dealt with more seriously it as brought a lot of strain on my and my. Husbands marriage now we advise. Him to ignore amything that gets back to him. She as know had the child which she isnt. Sure. Now. His. My sons so either things will be left alone or. She will start causing more trouble. Think those who go around doing this havent. Been brought up right knowing whats right from wrong and how to treat people the police must deal with a lot of these cases which are. False allegations all the time and its a shame when. Their time should be for. Those who actually do need it. As for this ex of my sons think she. Needs physco logical help cause normal people wouldnt go around accusing people of such a vile and nasty thing my son had a break down when. He was told what she accused him of






              Originally posted by Unknown_Person View Post
              Hi, thank you for the relevant information regarding Facebook. I never use Facebook anyway so I won't need to do jay but I do thank you for taking the time and getting that information.

              Regarding the messages with this female, she only asked “Have had self-checked at the sex clinic because I don't want anything” so she was worried about catching something. Then after that, we started talking and had a normal conversation etc. Why would message someone who “raped“ you??!

              But I have to take the necessary steps to ensure I’m not viable on social media! Because I believe if she sees pictures or videos etc on social media of me enjoying or living my life it will only make her want to destroy me or cause problems.

              I have obtained screenshots of her with other guys and also videos. And an image of me and her week later clubbing after we had consensual sex. I have also got written statement just in case and also got phone numbers of solicitors incase and money saved up for a court case. I’ve done all these things As a precaution and safety measure. Hopefully, I’ll never have to do this thing ever again and I can move on.

              In three months time, it would be 1 year exactly since I slept with her.

              The position I am in at the moment is ok because I haven’t heard any rumours seen anything bad on social media from others or had anyone come to me and ask me questions and of course police interview etc. I am grateful to the young gentleman in the nightclub who told me this rumour because it hadn’t told me. I would have bumped into that female thinking she’s my friend and then she shouts rapist and cause a massive scene I would be in a completely different position.
              Last edited by Casehardened; 6 March 2019, 03:11 PM. Reason: repairing quote

              Comment


              • #8
                AgoKaraleanne19775 I completely agree with you 100% regarding these false accusers should face serious consequences and action for there lies and false statements. Accusing someone of such serious allegations when it’s not true is such a disgusting awful thing to do. But in the world we live in today there are people who don’t care about how these false allegations can damage someone.

                I haven’t had any contact with my face accuser or bumped into her since she made these allegations against me. It’s been very tough for me trying to live a normal life when you know you’ve got this thing above your head constantly. I felt like giving up on life completely I still have my bad days where my mind drifts off and I feel very low. But as one of the forum members said “DOESN’T KILL
                YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER” I use that every now and again to pick myself up.

                Been falsely accused can happen to anyone at any time so always be very cautious and aware of everything going on around. Since I was falsely accused I am ever so more various about any females I interact with.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Telephone Conversation

                  Hello users,

                  This evening I was having a nice quiet Saturday night watching a movie on the television and just relaxing enjoying my early finish from work. I then received the most surprising phone call which I did not expect to get at all.

                  I received a phone call from an old associate who I haven’t spoken to in 1 year, I know the person quite well and they know myself well too. The person called me and asked me the normal telephone conversation of “how are you etc, haven’t seen you in a long time” had a good conversation but I informed them of the surprise of receiving the phone call. As the conversation carried on the person said: “Last time I saw you were the that women in the in the night club, you two were all over each other, you guys needed some privacy etc”. He knows the woman’s name explained exactly where I was in the night club everything he saw.

                  I immediately got my phone and collect a video with his name and caller ID and recorded the conversation! I was asking questions about what he saw the female doing and myself etc. He was explaining it all very well, I made sure I was discreet with the way I asked the questions so he doesn’t get suspicious and ask why I’m asking more questions. I’ve saved the recording into a safe secure place.

                  I don’t know whether it’s a good thing I have this further information! I just feel like needed to record this because it’s further backs my claim about this Female making false allegations.....?

                  Comment

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