Going spare with worry

[goingspare]

Hi, 3 years ago I found myself in a very regrettable ex-marital affair.

I'm keeping this brief and fairly nondescript for obvious reasons.

We slept together on only two occasions during this time, during the duration of the affair she was arrested for trying to gain access to my property drunk.

I spent many an occasion pleading with her that we had to leave each other be. Our partners were told and I've had counselling.

Six months ago I changed my number and told her. She works near me and started to follow me instead, also sending emails to me at work saying she just wanted to be friends and have coffee etc (passed this on). I eventually had enough and reported this to the police, who then had a word. This was just before Xmas.

On the 28th Dec I was phoned by a detective who said there had been the dreaded complaint made, both myself and my partner both thought this might be the last roll of the dice for her (She wanted me to leave everything I have for her). She wants to rid herself of any guilt of the affair by passing it all to me.

I took advantage of a duty solicitor, and was interviewed under voluntary attendance. The date/time of the offence was neither date on which I knew we had had 'contact'. It was actually almost a year before and when I'd only really just starting to talk to her ' in depth.

The police couldn't even confirm the date and didn't mention any evidence had been provided. They also waited until after Xmas to interview me as they said they didn't want to ruin Xmas for me.

17th Jan I get a letter dated 10th Jan from the solicitor saying file had been passed to CPS.

I never had my phone seized, never been contacted again by the Police, and am waiting for a CPS decision.

Time scales seem to have been short, ie short investigation, short time passing for file going to CPS.

I could have spent hours in the interview going over everything but the tape/disc ran out!

What's everyone's thoughts? NFA?

Thank you.

[Peter1975]

Hello and welcome to DM Goingspare, although it is always with regret that we welcome anyone new.

The timescales involved do seem to be somewhat shorter than the norm and unusual in that regard but nothing should be read into that.

Neither should anything be read into the file being passed to the CPS for a charging decision. I think the police sometimes pass the buck if they don't want to deal with an uppity complainant!

It sounds like you gave a good account of yourself in interview and I would say the fact that you first complained of her harassing you should stand you in good stead.

The odds are that it will be NFA but no one here can say for sure.

You may escape the very long wait other members have had in "limbo" so be thankful for that at least.

If you have any evidence on your phone or emails etc then make sure you save it all , if there are any deleted messages on your devices then you should stop using them before the data is overwritten to better the chances of them being recovered forensically.

Hang in there

[goingspare]

Thanks Peter. Emails were sent from her work to my work so her husband didn't know she was still trying to contact me.

I've also never had any contact with her on this device, I got a new phone too at the same point of changing numbers.

I just think the Police would have told me if there was actual evidence putting me somewhere, or at least my solicitor wouldn't have recommended I give a full and detailed version of my dealings with her.

The date accused was the day before we spent new years eve with them!

I have good days when I am confident because there is no evidence and also what has gone before is in my favour, but I am also haunted by the what if that doesn't bear thinking about.

I'm hopeful that it'll be seen for what it is and will fail the CPS checks as there is SO much more that could be bought up in court that would tear her claim to pieces.

I'm lucky to have the wife I do and I'm saddened it's taken such a turn of events to make me realise.

[Peter1975]

Having been guilty of an affair in the past I fully sympathise, I wish I could undo everything and I don't mind telling you that as a thorn between two roses, I ended up losing them both. I was a massive plonker for not resisting temptation and I admit it.

Moving forward, I learned my lesson, forgave myself and I take my new relationship very seriously. I still lament what I did but that was then and the future is all that life will give me.

It sounds like you have a wonderful wife and a chance to make amends. - I think you already know that your commitment means everything to her and to you too. Rather an awful way to realise this but perhaps your accuser has done you a favour in a funny kind of way.

Fingers crossed, the CPS will quickly see your case for what it is.

[goingspare]

Nfa

Hi all, had a visit from my investigating officer yesterday, he had already been to my FA's address. The Police are taking the matter NO further! Its over!

[Franticwithworry]

Wonderful news for you, goingspare.

[Casehardened]

Brilliant news and thanks for updating the thread, this is encouraging for other members still going through the process