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  • Seeking Help

    I'm reaching out on behalf of my boyfriend of almost four years.

    My boyfriend, who I'll call Paul for the sake of identity reasons, has been dealing with the fallout of sexual misconduct with a minor. He was 23 at the time, and he dated a 17 year old girl, with permission from her parents. We live in the state of Arizona, and they don't take that sort of situation lightly, even if the parents approve. He realized quickly that it was a mistake and left after dating her little over a week. Shortly afterwards, they filed a rape charge and he was arrested at his work. Long story short, it was proven in court that she was still a virgin. Any other statements they claimed were considered hearsay. That being said, he was still charged with dating a minor, served the time in jail that was required, and went through court issued therapy.

    Since Paul was released, he wasn't considered a threat, and was on the lowest level a sex offender could be given, until today. He's now at Level 2, only because the mother of the girl he dated was freaking out that she couldn't find him on the registry and went straight to the Sheriff's Department. (Level 0 doesn't show up online.)

    The family that made the allegations has been a constant nuisance. They've harassed Paul's family members who weren't involved, tried to have his friends thrown in jail with false accusations of violence and destruction of property. They've gone to several major businesses in town and slandered him to make sure he wouldn't be employed. Hell, our first date was ruined because they walked past us and they called the police trying to say that he was attempting to abduct and rape a minor again, referring to me. I was 22 at the time.

    The police have been called each and every time they could formulate an excuse to do so, meanwhile Paul had been doing his best to avoid them at all costs. He already is suffering with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), and since all of this he's developed PTSD and severe depression, all of which he's seeking help to manage. Not to mention he has bone marrow cancer, which is too much to handle to begin with. With them continually harassing him and his family, he can't seem to have a normal life. We live in a small town, and it's easy for folks to take the side of the "damaged girl" without looking into the facts of the case.

    We've done everything we can to work with the Police and the Probation Department, and they understand the situation fully. They don't believe all the claims. That being said, his life is still being destroyed. I've looked into lawyers in town who could help us, but most won't take the case without a substantial payout. I want to consider going to the media to bring some light into his situation, but before I do so I want to be sure I've explored every avenue I can. It's been four years of this, and the family won't let it go.

    If anyone can offer advice on helping Paul, it would mean the world to us.

  • #2
    Hello EurekaStrikes.

    I'm truly sorry that you find yourself in this situation, but I have to tell you that this is a UK site and posters here have only experience of the situation in the UK which is very different from that in the USA.

    I know that the emotions about this kind of thing are universal, but in terms of what to do from a practical point of view in your part of the world for your particular boyfriend and experience, I'm afraid that it's very unlikely that anyone here can offer any sort of sensible advice, except to perhaps look for some sort of Pro Bono (free) services or even move out of the area if that is possible.

    I certainly haven't the knowledge or experience to offer anything more than that, and I wish you the very best of luck in finding some help and support more locally.
    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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    • #3
      I appreciate the response. I'm aware that this is a UK based forum, but unfortunately I haven't found much of a community like this based in the US. I was able to find a Facebook group, but that was about it.

      I was hoping for a possibility of someone living in the US on here that could help. Call it desperation, I suppose.
      That being said, I think it's wonderful that the UK has an online community and that you're so open to helping each other out. It reminds me that there's so much hope in the world!

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      • #4
        I'm afraid we don't have many active members here at all ( the majority move on ) and I'm not aware of any USA based support forums such as we have in the UK apart from a handful of facebook groups which you seem to have already found.

        You could try accused.me.uk - they tried to set up a USA group a while back, I think it mostly had British members for some reason but they may be able to help connect you with someone stateside.

        The difficulty is in the differing state laws and whether you would get good advice or conflicting information that would just leave you confused. All forums can be like that though.

        There is a woman, Diana Davison, who I think is based in Canada but has helped people in the USA ( I don't really know ) - You can find her video's on youtube :

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A3iftvXBVY

        Alternatively there are Men's rights activists (MRA's) or MGTOW that may be able to point you in the right direction.
        For reliable legal aided advice in the London or home counties area, contact Harvey Fox of Freemans Solicitors, London. ( Private clients nationwide) :
        https://freemanssolicitors.net/team_members/harvey-fox/


        To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit https://pafaaorg.wordpress.com/


        For help and advice with appealing convictions visit https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-pacso-forums/

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