Living a Nightmare

[Confused29]

Hi,

I've just come across this website as I've been looking over people's post and finding similarities to something i am currently going through.

So from the beginning...

Few nights ago, me and three friends decided to have a night out. So we headed out and and eventually ended up in one club for the night. While one the dance floor, I smiled at a girl which she responded by dancing with us. After a while me and two of my friends decided to go outside and have a smoke, leaving one friend with the girl. We ended up going to a different part of the club after the smoke and had a few drinks and danced in this other part of the club. We kept checking to see if our friend was still with this girl, which he was so left him there. Few hours passed and the club was shutting, so we all left and the girl was leaving with us.
This girl invited us all back for a party at hers, non of us were really keen on the idea so said we couldn't we had plans early the next day. She started to cry and say she didn't want to go into the taxi by herself, we offered to go in the taxi and drop her off first. At this point me and a friend just left my two friends talking to her and eventually my friends agreed to go back to hers for a drink. We all arrive at hers and said she was getting a bottle of vodka from here friends place. we went with her and at this stage there was a group of people opposite her friends flat so i started to chat with them for a while, while my friends went to the girls place. After a while of chatting with these people, we all decided to go for a smoke, where one suggested watching a movie, we all agree so a few went up while a few was still smoking. After finishing the smoke, we went upstairs and on the way my friends follow. Then these people decided to go to sleep instead. So me and my friends decided we go back down to the girls place. Two of my friends also decided they would go home, so it was just me and my one friend left. We were chilling and this girl was offering us alot of vodka (once the drink was finished, instantly topping it up again). After a while my friend decides to go to bed because hes had enough, so the girl said to have get in her bed.

That leaves myself and this girl, we chat for a while talking about games and all sorts. We then start talking about my child. After talking about my child for a while, she gives me a hug and leave hers hand on my left. This lead to a bit of flirting and after a while one thing lead to another. We start having sex and after a while she says that she cant wait for my "jizz inside her" after this, it freaked me out so i stop, saying that im to tired to continue. She then start to give me oral and eventually gets on top of me, after a few mins i tell her again im to tired to continue and can we go bed. We then put cloths on and i have a smoke while she pours me another drink. We then go to her bed, where my friend is, and get in. i drift off and wake up like 20 mins later and notice i was the only one in the room. i decide to have another smoke and ask her for her key to get back into the flat, she gets the key and gives it me. when i finished i then returned to the room and she asked what i laughed about earlier... i was abit confused and she said after we got into bed i giggled about something, which im assuming i did while i was sleeping. eventually we all get back into bed and go to sleep. The next day we wake up and she offers us a bacon sandwich, but at this stage i was feeling rough and still drunk so decline and get ready to leave. Just before we leave she asks if she can add me of facebook, i agree.

I then get home and sleep for the rest the day.

Then the nightmare begins, the early hours of the next day the police are at the door. They come in and explain that she has accused me of raping her. Complete shock hit me. But i composed myself and left with them. In the police station i am put into a cell for a few hours, in the cell i threw up a few times from the shock! then i go out for them to get dna and that and then put back into a cell. After a few more hours my solicitor was there and i was able to speak with him about the nightmare. The first thing he said to me was "this is alot of bollox" and asked me to explain my side of the story. I explain my side of the story in the interview and afterwards was told from there i will be on pre-charge police bail.

Currently on pre-charge bail and trying to keep a positive mind is quiet hard. The friends i was out with and my other house mates are keeping me hopeful, but only so much they can do! Just the waiting game is scarey.

After reading some of the posts on here i thought i'd post my story as well, atleast this way i can have people who have been in similar situations as myself will be able to give me there advice on how to handle it.

Sorry for the wall of text.

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

As you mentioned, your situation is not unusual and something similar comes up on the forum fairly regularly, the only variable being the reasons for the girl to make an accusation of rape.

However I am worried that you have put too much emphasis on the 'pre-charge' title as if it is a given that this is going to trial. Bail is a means of allowing the police to investigate without inconveniencing you too much (apart from mentally!) and until the CPS have viewed the various statements there is no way of knowing what is gong to happen. Presumably you admitted intercourse in your interview so DNA evidence is not significant, it's a matter of proving consent.

Your account above is understandably a bit muddled; I suggest constructing a proper timeline of that evening, while events are still fresh in your mind, detailing actions, places, and most importantly witnesses i.e. those of your friends who were present at varying times during the evening until the point that you and the girl were alone together (or was one of your friends in the room/bed as well? you mentioned 'us' and 'all' in your account)

There is some general advice in the link below:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[Ladyscot]

Hi confused,

Sorry for your situation it sounds awful.

A big positive i think is that your friend was there. He can verify your version of events. Her giving you a key to get back in after a cigarette, offering you breakfast and asking to add you on facebook - hardly the actions of someone who has just been raped!

Have the police interviewed your friend?

Ls

[Franticwithworry]

You're on bail - there's no 'pre-charge' about it and no guarantee that you will be charged.

As you can see from the forum, there are lots of accusations that are ridiculous. You have a great defence, with witnesses and supportive friends. Hang on to that. It is a horrible waiting game and it seems that often, the cases with the weakest evidence take longest to resolve.

There's not a lot can be done about that except seeking support where you can and keeping yourself busy. Try not to focus on the negative. We are all here at various stages in the process with information and support when you need it.

With best wishes.

[joebloggs]

This sounds like one of the more straight forward cases I've came across on the forum, and from reading I can see what this is all about, and so can most reasonable people. Its a story that is spun often but unfortunately given that any sexual offence is now a hot potato (For lack of a better expression) to any police service, because of all the sexual cases making the news and previous alleged failings of the boys in blue ( and girls for equalities sake). They now investigate fully, not only to get the full story but to cover their own backs. And i would suggest, ocassionally for a promotion if a conviction is obtained.

In my opinion, as a reasonable person. What you have going for you is that you have a witness that was essentially there the whole time, someone who can corroborate the actions and demeanour of this girl throughout the evening. Also to her conduct the following morning. This is only something that will strengthen your defence i would imagine.

You obviously have a relatively clear recollection of the evening, is the amount of alcohol consumed on a level of what you would normally consume? Can you think of people that can verify that the state of intoxication was one of which you would normally still have all of your normal inhibitions intact and not act out of character? If a trial is coming it may be worth seeking legal advice if this is something that can form part of a character/witness statement.

What you have to try to do at the moment is not panic. At this stage the police are carrying out enquiries, having coffee and sifting through all their current cases. Whilst you are probably suffering sleepless nights, constant anxiety and re running the night through your head like a bad film on repeat on a sunday evening. This situation for now is out of your control, get all your notes and time lines done asap. Then try to continue.

The general rule of thumb I go by is the police aren't your friends. Even if an officer calls you "Mate". Try not to furnish them with evidence that could seek to undermine the prosecutions case and strengthen yours without seeking legal advice. Even then, consider it fully.

We're all here for you, with different experiences, different ways of coping and many a story too,

Stay strong

JB

[Jakwatts]

Jonathan can help you

This is the first time I have posted on here although I have been reading the heart wrenching posts that people who are going through he'll have placed.
I have also been reading about the conman Stephen Cooper with anger and empathy.
I have come across this on my Facebook news feed and would like to share it with people on here. It's a new company I believe and a friend I have has already made contact with them for help with a malicious Sexual abuse allegation over Xmas. http://www.iwaswronglyaccused.co.uk

I'm going to carry on reading the stories and if I offer any advice please don't look on me as being a newbie. I do have some experience from these people intent on destroying your life by lying to the authorities