Falsely Accused

[LiarsLiarsEverywhere]

I was arrested about 14-20 days ago now, under 2 FAs of rape on my ex and am on pre charge until early december.

Horrific experience, lost my job, severe depression, anxiety, upset.

The worst part about this whole situation, is I don't hold a dislike or hatred to her, I can't get her out of my head and would do nothing more than to have her hug me.

I don't know what to do with my life right now as I feel empty and still lost, what did you guys do to keep yourselves occupied and busy?

[mickw]

After the initial shock I was determined to gather as much evidence as possible. I used my time whilst on bail, to construct my own timeline of events. The devil is in the detail. A liar has to have a good memory whereas the truth comes naturally.

Mick

[Ploppy]

I don't know what to do with my life right now as I feel empty and still lost, what did you guys do to keep yourselves occupied and busy?

I find that being distracted helps, so do things. Work out, try a class, learn a musical instrument, fix that irritating minor problem in the house that you've never got around to... anything. Just try and fill your day.

It's easy to underestimate the damage an FA does to you - my case concerned a child and even though the investigation was concluded super-quick (less than ten days), I'm still in pieces about it more than three weeks since my NFA. Last night, when the first young trick or treaters knocked on the door, I got all shaky and started to cry. I spent the rest of evening hiding in my back garden with Star Trek on Netflix (I have a really nice spot with a roaring fire and good wi-fi).

My point is that these feelings are probably not going to go away anytime soon even if the legal stuff goes your way, so it's important to look after yourself.

Take care.

[Lucky]

so true, ppl always think that the end of the legal stuff is the end...but that's not always the case.

if anything that's the start of rebuilding your life

[Jan11]

Keeping busy was a big help for us. We both also spoke to our gp.

We spent time gathering evidence which we have stored safely.

One thing that really helps is to spend time out of the house and with people who don't necessarily know what is going on. I find it really quite difficult and don't always want to see people but once I've done it I realise a good few hours have gone by where I've not thought about the situation. The temptation to sit at home and dwell is always there but I see that option as the FA winning.

I hope today is a good day for you. You might find it helps just reading on here - the fact that people are experiencing the same emotions as you is a comfort. A shame we have to go through this but at least we can support each other.

[LiarsLiarsEverywhere]

Thanks for the replies guys, went for my follow up appointment with the doctor and been given ADs for the next 28 days :/ Lets hope these help and when I come off them haven't messed with my brain too much!

I've took your advice, I'm currently writing up my recount of absolutely everything in and between to send to my sol (we were together at the time of FAs). Fortunately or unfortunately for me I have a fantastic memory down to the tiniest detail, I can remember items of clothing, routes walked together, shops visited, that kind of carry on. So my detail is incredible, either making me look like I have an incredible memory and its all truth - or that I'm a repulsive liar.

My parents are being super supportive, throwing out bedding etc that we used to sleep in together, as my mum believes certain things trigger memories with me and send me into dark places.

Today has been one of the better days.

[LiarsLiarsEverywhere]

moving forward with my case

My Solicitor is fantastic and really helping me out where he can, trying to alter terms on my Pre-Charge sheet so I can stay with my nan for a few weeks etc, offering support as and when and general checking in to see how I'm feeling, as I was on the brink of throwing myself off a very high building.
As are my family and friends who are all being incredible helping where they can help or getting me out the house, filling my day up doing things with them or remedial things where they need help.

Found a new love for golfing too, nice to get out in the fresh air for an afternoon and pass around banter with a group of politically incorrect pensioners.

Friends that saw us while we were together, or became friends with meeting while we were out on a night have all said they don't believe i've done it, and thought she had that manipulative side about her that she would blow up should something not go as she wanted... I've pulled up previous messages between us from when we broke up prior to getting back together and this whole rigmarole, where she is threatening to ruin my life, which have all been sent to my Solicitor as evidence.

Spoke to the DC on the case today, and he reckons I should have an NFA/Charge/No Crime, decision before christmas, considering my bail date to return to police station is early December. Considering its classed as serious as there are two separate allegations, it will be moved along quicker or a higher priority he said. Which is good - dependant on the way it goes, I should be able to have a good christmas or start arranging how to defend my case and prove myself not guilty in the best way possible as I've already been recommend a barrister and met them at the initial meeting with my Solicitor.

[YearsOfHell]

Well done
You seem to be doing all the right things.
Keep strong
Whatever happens in December, we're here to help if you need support.
YoH

[Rights Fighter]

LiarsLiarsEverywhere - can you confirm please that you have asked to join a support group in Facebook?

If so, I have sent you a PM on there.

[LiarsLiarsEverywhere]

Sundays are always a horrible day for me. Today hasn't been an exception felt sick all day, wanted to cry and feel completely helpless.

Fortunately i'm off to the beach tomorrow with my dog, hopefully clear my head and get positive again.