Ptsd

[2tea2]

Hi,
Last week sent my young son (recently falsely accused; now suffering from some paranoia, easily startled, palpitations, appetite loss, sleeplessness and very high anxiety - almost panic) for counselling - with an excellent and accredited, locally recommended practice. The result - he is suffering from many symptoms of PTSD - which is ongoing because he is still in the powerless situation and fears that it will go on and on and on. I was surprised as PTSD is usually associated with violence and personal danger - but the psychological mechanism is the same - a degree of shocking and uncontrollable trauma.
Has anyone else heard of this being an issue for the falsely accused?

[Soanxious]

Hi,
Last week sent my young son (recently falsely accused; now suffering from some paranoia, easily startled, palpitations, appetite loss, sleeplessness and very high anxiety - almost panic) for counselling - with an excellent and accredited, locally recommended practice. The result - he is suffering from many symptoms of PTSD - which is ongoing because he is still in the powerless situation and fears that it will go on and on and on. I was surprised as PTSD is usually associated with violence and personal danger - but the psychological mechanism is the same - a degree of shocking and uncontrollable trauma.
Has anyone else heard of this being an issue for the falsely accused?

I have not heard of this before but thinking about it, it does make sense. The shock and trauma and the roller coaster of emotions as the bail date draws nearer, is so hard for the falsely accused (and their families). As you say they are also in a totally powerless situation that can just drag on an on. I hope the counselling is helping your son and that you are managing to cope. I must admit that counselling is something I think my son may need to help him cope with this nightmare.

[Rights Fighter]

It's perfectly normal for the abnormal situation people suffer in false allegations, the accused and their families.

PTSD and "Complex PTSD" (Google that) can be caused by serious psychological stress.

[2tea2]

Thanks both - and SoAnxious - I would recommend it for your youngster - although I ma using up my savings. Since the accusation I have become worried about my son, hyper-vigilant of his mood, unwilling to leave him for long periods. Now that he is seeing the counsellor, it has taken the pressure off me to build him up, keep him buoyant etc. Also, I am less vigilant as the counsellor said that if there was any serious worry about my son's mood, or an intent to injure himself - I would be informed. So it has had a second, beneficial effect on myself.

[Lilyput]

Not seen anybody for it but i have panic attacks when ever the door knocks unexpectedly. I also have flash backs from the landlady banging the door after finding out and shouting she was social services in front of all neighbours...

Always terrified when home alone and can't go upstairs or away from the window in case her car or the police or somebody shows up. That day was seven months ago and still not over it. It was the worst day so far as we knew no details of what he was defending yet were being threatened with losing everything... Thank goodness there was no SS involvement or arrest in the end never would have coped.

[2tea2]

Oh Lilyput - how awful for you. Although for myself I completely understand what you're saying; that occasion is seared into my brain with an awful finality - such a big thing, so random, to which you've become a prey. When they say ,"part of me died," that's what they mean.

[janjoe10]

My son was exactly the same. He even attempted to take his own life. He was under cahms but has stopped going cos he's on his red worker who just wants to do breathing exercises. I'm being extra vigilant again co a his trial starts tues. He seems ok though. Hopefully we will prove his innocence x

[2tea2]

Poor chap; breathing helps but I think much counselling is coming to terms with what HAS happened; the trouble with this business is that it is happening continuously and may continue to do so for a very long time. That's an extra trauma - you can't deal with it - because it's ongoing.
h

[Franticwithworry]

Poor chap; breathing helps but I think much counselling is coming to terms with what HAS happened; the trouble with this business is that it is happening continuously and may continue to do so for a very long time. That's an extra trauma - you can't deal with it - because it's ongoing.
h

That's true 2tea2, much counselling helps with coming to terms with the past, but there are counsellors who are willing to work with people who have ongoing situations. Think, for example of people who are dealing with depression, a constant illness, or grief, a long-term process. Those are ongoing situations but ones that counselling can be very helpful for. Not at all the same as FA, but similar principles. It's worth shopping around for a counsellor who can help even with part of your son's issues - long-term loss of the life he thought he was going to have. There are tools that can be learned - lilyput too - to help deal with the panic attacks and flashbacks. PTSD and C-PTSD can be helped with even when you're in the midst of it. Breathing exercises are good but a good counsellor with the right experience can provide more. If your son is willing, keep looking.

[2tea2]

Yes that's all true. It's combination of new, helpful coping mechanisms and improved ways of thinking. I think it will do him good anyway - as he was struggling to know what he wants to do with life etc.

[Itsnotallbad]

Hi 2tea2,

Personal experience of meant that i had signs of PTSD before my FA ,due to a car crash with a fatality. For that i was offered a lot of treatment due to insurance etc (very fortunate in that respect). Nothing really had much effect on how i felt. Quite honestly i found that the sooner i got back to doing the things i enjoyed before what happened made the symptoms go.

Now that i've passed the FA and im just over a month clear of it the lasting effects are strange but id imagine they are normal.

All i can suggest as a young lad whos been through similar experiences is that he just needs take small steps (first night out with friends,part time job, structured routine). He'll get there,and if he's struggling,mums are always good are motivating!!!

Any questions just private message me!

Best of luck!

[carrot tops]

I'm still dithering over the whole idea of getting counselling but I did check out a video on cognitive behaviour therapy on you tube and found that was useful. It looked at 3 different ways people react to a crisis and how each of those ways paralyses you.

I think it was the eg of a man having his hours cut at work so he would struggle to pay the mortgage.

Reaction one - they are cutting hours, I will lose my job soon, my whole family will be homeless and on the streets

Reaction two - they are clearly trying to get rid of me because I'm a useless worker. I can't do anything right. I don't deserve the family I have, I'm such a loser.

Reaction three - those stupid idiots! Who do they think they are cutting my hours! There's no way they are getting away with this, everyone picks on me.

I recognise myself as having the first sort of reaction and I think I've always been prone to react that way. Before all of this I was much more able to play out the worst case scenario and then find the little things I could do to alleviate some of the stress.Since the court case I'm much more like a rabbit trapped in the headlights quickly seeing the worst possible outcome but almost having a mental block as to how to react.

Thinking about it though, I can't think of any other situation in life than going through the false allegation, bail and court case where I have felt I had so little power. There's no negotiation over court appearances, no control over time scales, no immediate access to people going through the same thing ( there is here, but I got more involved after the case, and this isn't face to face ). We were plunged in to a world we knew very little about, where we were all traumatised in several big ways and then we were suddenly trying to fight for sons life whilst not believing what was happening could really be true. Just typing that now make me think " Woah, we really came through all that?! "

Anyway, I won't waffle on too much, but that video, about 6 minutes long was really helpful. Just recognising my reaction, and thinking how I used to take a problem, and break it into manageable chunks is making me feel more capable. We have had other problems since the trial. Quite a few have been health related. In the last few weeks one of the children has had health issues needing investigation but I'm coping with the stress and able to rein in the immediate worst case scenario reaction.

I'm thinking I might check out a few more of the videos just to help process my feelings.

[Lilyput]

Carrot tops- I think you said you were a christian, even though I do struggle two books have helped me enormously and am no longer in the paralyzing fear of the beginning. Living Courageously by Joyce Meyer and God Know My Name by Beth Redman. Joyce Meyer's can be a bit preachy at time but good for ruling anxiety but Beth Redman's book to me (I'm half way through) is the best already changing my outlook.

[carrot tops]

Yes, I am a Christian. I suspected you were from the Nicky Gumble quote.

I've found Joyce Meyer really inspiring in the past. Never heard of Beth Redman, any relation to Matt Redman ?

The song "One thing remains" with the line " Constant through the trial and the change " always hits me.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi 2tea2,

Personal experience of meant that i had signs of PTSD before my FA ,due to a car crash with a fatality. For that i was offered a lot of treatment due to insurance etc (very fortunate in that respect). Nothing really had much effect on how i felt. Quite honestly i found that the sooner i got back to doing the things i enjoyed before what happened made the symptoms go.

Now that i've passed the FA and im just over a month clear of it the lasting effects are strange but id imagine they are normal.

All i can suggest as a young lad whos been through similar experiences is that he just needs take small steps (first night out with friends,part time job, structured routine). He'll get there,and if he's struggling,mums are always good are motivating!!!

Any questions just private message me!

Best of luck!

Please note this sticky at the top of one of the other subforums:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...al-Information

It might help other members to actually see this sort of conversation, that way they won't feel that they are alone in their experiences. In fact, just look how this conversation has developed! People taking part like this is what these forums are all about.