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  • #31
    Originally posted by Lilyput View Post
    First of all big big hugs!! Secondly because FA's are such are touchy subject those of us who are victims of FA's or supporting victims will tend to feel his sister is lying and those victims of rape will likely think she is telling the truth. But in reality we don't know this family and cannot make that judgement.

    I agree with above that you need to go with your gut, has this sister lied about things in other circumstances? You also don't have to consider it all right now as it's so so huge. Just focus on you and your babies until any evidence comes to light (or doesn't) if it does not exist. Unfortunately you may not know all the facts (or lack of them) until there is a charge and he gets the paperwork or if there is NFA then you can probably assume this evidence is fabricated.

    Lastly guilty or innocent she wasn't justified in coming to you with anything the police should be notified ASAP as you would be in a lot of trouble if it was the other way around. Anybody who thinks it's okay to accost a heavily pregnant woman about a situation she is now removed from is not firing on all cylinders on my humble opinion, so ignore that comment hun.

    Well said Lilput.

    If the sister is likely to be a witness, should there be a charge, then she should not be talking to you in any event. It's called "intimidating a witness". Report it to the police and also the solicitor, if you have not already done so. If it can be proved she was lying, then she would have a hard time in the witness box and potentially risks being prosecuted for intending to PCJ as well, although that is unlikely unfortunately...
    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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    • #32
      Update- my partner is at the police station waiting to be interviewed because he got a text yesterday from his cousin they've told everyone about the allegations that they know so his now been getting death threats and innocent people are being dragged into it including me which I think is sick because I haven't done anything I have no idea if the police will pull me in or not over my care of my son because that was in the message so I'm now getting really worried! He didn't reply but went straight to the police and because he was really scared said the wrong things so arrested him as he doesn't feel safe now so that's why his getting interviewed today I will keep you updated when or if I know more.

      The family are getting desperate because he got rebailed and they thought it would be dealt with quickly but because it's not their trying to make up even more lies which I just hope the police catch them out!!

      Thank you for all the support this situation is just going out of control and I've had enough. Keeping strong the best I can only got 2 weeks left now till this baby is due and I feel so sorry that his coming into all this mess makes me hate myself.

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      • #33
        I think someone else on this forum said rape victims don't often antagonize their perpetrator, so this doesn't make them look very good. Imagine a real victim would be afraid of the monster that could do this not making his life hell. Poor man! You are the one being harassed so I am sure they won't take your child away or arrested you huni... you've not contacted her!

        I think FA's are often narcissists and think their lie is the most important thing in the world. They have no realistic concept of the police's workload of the CPS's charging threshold. I know my OH's FA told a mutual friend she wanted her 'day' in court a few months ago... he's not even been arrested or charged yet love, they don't live in the real world. Pretend the FA's don't exist for the safety of you and your children hun, block them and if they try to talk in the streets turn the other way and call the OIC and tell them they tried to make contact.
        Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Lilyput View Post
          I think someone else on this forum said rape victims don't often antagonize their perpetrator, so this doesn't make them look very good. Imagine a real victim would be afraid of the monster that could do this not making his life hell. Poor man! You are the one being harassed so I am sure they won't take your child away or arrested you huni... you've not contacted her!

          I think FA's are often narcissists and think their lie is the most important thing in the world. They have no realistic concept of the police's workload of the CPS's charging threshold. I know my OH's FA told a mutual friend she wanted her 'day' in court a few months ago... he's not even been arrested or charged yet love, they don't live in the real world. Pretend the FA's don't exist for the safety of you and your children hun, block them and if they try to talk in the streets turn the other way and call the OIC and tell them they tried to make contact.
          I think they're getting other family members to harrass him. I mean in the text it said that they wouldn't be surprised if I touch my own son up and sexually abuse him because of my past now if that's shown to the police will they question me as that's what I'm worried about. I have no idea why me and my family are getting thrown into it.

          Yeah I will do I just can't wait till we move now because this is just getting too much and I want to keep my children and myself safe without people knowing where I live.

          I just hope this is all over soon but I know can take months and months till they give an answer of a nfa or charge.

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          • #35
            See how an earth could any MORON think that person was in anyway justified to spout such bile as a mother my heart would break if I was accused of such a terrible thing!

            Sorry you've encountered these FA's that have split your family and now hinting these dreadful things about you so just annoyed today.

            Try not to panic I'm sure at such a young age there would be medical evidence if you son have been sexually abused. I'm sure your health visitor, social worker and midwife can vouch for you as a parent. There is absolutely no proof your son's been a abused and nobody has made a formal allegation just a text. I'd maybe ask the police if they can tell members of his family not to contact you as it poses a risk to you and your unborn child. Big big hugs!!!
            Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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            • #36
              How did the interview go thinking of you
              Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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              • #37
                Hope it wasn't too awful and the solicitor stepped in if and when it was necessary
                People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                • #38
                  Update... Sorry haven't been on gave birth to my second son on Saturday.

                  My partner went to the police and showed them the message basically I wasn't being accused of anything they did write about me and my boys saying he must have raped me and both my sons are rape babies which I think is vile but police aren't taking the text seriously even though he got threats as well so him being scared said he was going to go kill his dad which I know he wouldn't do but police took it seriously and arrested him.

                  His now been charged with threats to kill and is in prison has court sometime in May as well as his 2 bail dates one for his sisters and another for his brothers as they're now coming out with things as well such a mess of a situation.

                  I'm keeping well out of it now and just being told what's happening and where he is that's it and social services will keep him up to date about his first son but not second as his not on the birth certificate. Lost all faith in the police as definitely all one sided and they're not taking anything seriously like messages or what others are saying about them. I've just looked at it that his going to prison and his whole life is ruined now as sad as it is I'm just focusing on my sons as their my main priority.

                  Thank you to those that have gave support and advice.

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                  • #39
                    Hi kittykat23. Many congratulations on the birth of your baby boy. I hope you and his big brother are finding much happiness with him.
                    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                    • #40
                      Congratulations on the birth of your son. Hope you are able to enjoy him despite the other stresses you are facing.

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