12 Months Down the Line....Nothing

[KeepTheFaith]

Hi Everyone,

Hope you're all holding up OK!

Basically my story is very similar to a lot of yours. I had a drunken one night stand with a girl over a year ago, I was out for my birthday with a load of mates obviously getting very drunk with them when I met this girl. We were kissing for a while at this bar then afterward she introduced me to her friend, basically long story short we ended up going back to her friends house and all staying in her bed with me and the girl having sex (Yes, with the other girl in the bed too, I know this is an utterly stupid situation to be in but was very plastered by this stage).

Anyway, everything seemed fine in the morning, we were all really hungover so we all stayed in bed until 4pm chatting and having a laugh when they dropped me off home all in good spirits.

2 months later I get a call from the police asking me to come to the station for a 'chat'. I sought out legal representation and had the interview, it all seemed fairly relaxed and the main investigating officer seemed quite nice to honest. I gave my version of events and left the station with my parents and solicitor who said not to worry and that it shouldn't go any further. Also the investigating office say it should all be wrapped up in a couple of months.

Speaking to the investigation officer about 3/4 months later, she said the case had gone to sergeant who deemed the case needed to go the CPS. She essentially said that they didn't feel that there was enough evidence, however, they wanted it to go to the CPS as a precaution as to 'dot the i's and cross the t's' as she put it. She said the decision would be made by the CPS in the next month or so (that would be around 5 months after I was initially interviewed).

A month or so later she called to say this decision would be re-arranged for 3 months later, she genuinely sounded annoyed about this and apologised that the whole thing taking so long. Anyway, I wait another 3 months when she phones up again and says they now want to interview some witnesses again and need to wait for the toxicology results to come back, saying this would take a couple of months.

4 months later here I am a year since I was interviewed and probably around 14 months since the accusation!! I think it's pretty unfair and kind of inhumane to keep someone in psychological limbo for over a year! However, I do understand that they want the case to be investigated as thoroughly as possible, which I do agree with.

It's strange as she has hinted in many conversations that it's unlikely that it'll go to court and kind of seems to be on my side just says it's out of her hands now and with the CPS.

Has anyone else been kept in the dark for over a year? What was the outcome?

Also would people recommend I be actively doing stuff at his stage or just sitting back and waiting of the decision?

I'm trying not to worry about it, as ultimately It is out of my hands so it's futile to worry, but this is a easier said than done!!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated (sorry for the long post).

Thanks for reading and to anyone going through a similar experience you have my support, stay strong this is real test of character but you will get through it.

[Chigirl]

Yes it's 2 years in June for us. Not heard a thing still. Requests for updates have been ignored.

[KeepTheFaith]

Wow! 2 year Chigirl, I'm really sorry to hear it's been that long! Surely you think there must legally be a limit on how long it can take?! It's essentially a sentence in itself as you're definitely NOT a free man in this situation (psychologically it's very debilitating)

I've actually got to the stage now where I've asked to not be updated on what's going on as it's so deflating for them to keep saying "they're come to a decision in X months" and when it comes around they just move the goal posts. It's not worth it psychologically, for me I'd rather they just tell me when they make a decision.

[KeepTheFaith]

Also one thing I find a bit strange is that I haven't been bailed? Looking at other people posts it seems most people have been.

Anyone got any thoughts on why this might be?

Many thanks!

[Chigirl]

Also one thing I find a bit strange is that I haven't been bailed? Looking at other people posts it seems most people have been.

Anyone got any thoughts on why this might be?

Many thanks!

My dad isn't on bail either. He was invited to an interview, not charged or put on bail.

[KeepTheFaith]

Mmm that's interesting, thanks for sharing.

The only solace I can take from not being on bail and it taking so long is that it gives me the impression the police/CPS don't regard it was 'high priority' and thus in my head logically means that it's more likely to be a NFA. This may be the wrong conclusion and wishful thinking but it is kind of the impression I get.

Also I've been allowed to travel a lot and and when I call the officer to say I'm going travelling she seems pretty chilled out about it and is just like "fine, crack on" sort of thing, so I also see that as an encouraging sign. But again that might just be me clutching at straws?

[slowdown73]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I waited 16 months for a decision before they dropped the case and I was kept completely in the dark and not updated regularly at all.

You don't say whether you were arrested or just interviewed under caution? If you weren't arrested and only interviewed under caution then you wouldn't have been given any bail conditions.

Most allegations of sexual assault do have to go through the CPS for a decision. However, given you have been told a few times a decision would be made then I would suggest giving your solicitor a ring and see if they can contact the Police to find out why the goal posts keep changing. You are right that it's not fair to keep someone in limbo and it's almost psychological torture.

[Chigirl]

Mmm that's interesting, thanks for sharing.

The only solace I can take from not being on bail and it taking so long is that it gives me the impression the police/CPS don't regard it was 'high priority' and thus in my head logically means that it's more likely to be a NFA. This may be the wrong conclusion and wishful thinking but it is kind of the impression I get.

Also I've been allowed to travel a lot and and when I call the officer to say I'm going travelling she seems pretty chilled out about it and is just like "fine, crack on" sort of thing, so I also see that as an encouraging sign. But again that might just be me clutching at straws?

Same here, after this amount of time they can't be taking it that seriously. Dad travels a lot too and is allowed no problems. He's been abroad loads since.

[slowdown73]

If you haven't been arrested then this would indicate that at the point of the complaint being made against you and the Police's initial enquires before interviewing you, there is insufficient evidence to believe you have committed the offence. You would only be given bail conditions to manage any potential risk issues. However, neither of these are a guarantee that you won't be charged and it will depend on whether the Police in their eyes can manage to obtain any reliable evidence to support the allegation. An accuser's statement will also be classed as evidence even though you know she has lied through her teeth.

[KeepTheFaith]

Thanks for the info slowdown73

I was not arrested no, just asked to come in for an interview and that was it.

The thing is I don't currently have a solicitor. I used one for the interview at the police station but after that they have deemed the case closed on their end. Do you think it's worth getting in contact with them again and getting them to ask what's going on? I'm guessing I would have to start paying them to do that?

The thing is the last few months I have kind of just been ignoring the whole thing, thinking "I want nothing to do with it, I'll just what for whatever the decision is" and thus not wanted to received any updates in an ignorance is bliss kind of way.

My understanding from when I spoke to the officer 5 months ago was that they are interviewing the witnesses again to see if that can get more information and they are waiting for the toxicology report.

My guess is they still have insufficient evidence (otherwise I would have been charged) and that they are exhausting these last 2 options to see if it throws anything up, but again I may be wrong.

[slowdown73]

Did you have like a duty solicitor then? You could try and contact them to request an update. I'm not sure how they work as I obtained my own solicitor and got regular updates directly from them.

You might be correct in terms of the Police reinterviewing potential witnesses but it's anyone's guess. The Police are unlikely to elaborate to you about their investigative strategy.

You could consider making a formal complaint through Professional Standards. I did this because I had been waiting over 12 months and kept totally in the dark and it was impacting on my job. However, the complaint is unlikely to speed up the investigation - the Police will argue they have a duty to investigate the allegation thoroughly but they may provide you with more information about why your case is taking so long. From speaking to others on here, the Police seem to drag out these situations for ages and some people have waited two years or longer which is ridiculous and completely unfair. I actually think it's a Human Right's issue but police investigations aren't covered under the Human Rights Act.

[TBG1]

Hi KTF,

A warm, if not sad welcome.

I regret that you will get plenty of replies confirming that this amount of waiting appears not to be unusual (I'm nearly 11 months into the limbo myself).

I'm glad that you appear to have coped reasonably well with what has no doubt an horrendous year.

One question worth putting to OIC or your solicitor (if you appoint one) is why are the Police awaiting a toxicology report? Such a report is only of value if samples were taken immediately (within 12 hours or so) I would guess. Which would mean that your accuser would have had to have made a statement immediately after you left (which your account doesn't seem to suggest was the case). In addition, I would guess that it is the accused whose toxicology report would be the Police/CPS' "Golden Egg" (if at all), but if you were not approached until 2 months after the supposed event, such a test would also be useless.

Keep posting - It will help you and you will help others.


Best Wishes,

TBG1

*Sidenote for Chigirl: If you send a letter to the Chief Constable of your county's Police Force, you will be guaranteed an update. Make it polite and make it clear that it isn't a complaint. The CC obviously won't see it ... But by sending it to him/her it "enters the system" meaning that they have strict guidelines and timetables in which they have to respond. I got an acknowledgement within 3 days and a reply to my query for an update within 10 days......Wasn't a helpful update in my case, but at least I got a response (which, like you, I was previously not getting).

[KeepTheFaith]

Thanks for the reply and warm welcome TGB1.

Yeah I did think it was strange. The only reason I can think of for them wanting the toxicology report is either A) To check for some sort of date rape drug in her system or b) To prove she was so drunk she could not have consented, and as neither of those things are true I'm not at all worried about it.

To be honest I think it's a fine line with coping with this sort of nightmare scenario, I find you can get too involved and constantly want updates on everything and try desperately to influence the outcome in your favour (this was what I was like at the start) which for me tends to lead to paranoid, obsessive thoughts that only makes the mental anguish more unbearable, or you can accept that it's a situation which is now out of your hands and try to just live and enjoy life as normally as you can and just wait for the decision in due course and if it's bad news then act pragmatically (this is what I have been doing more recently).

But then some may say I'm just burying my head in the sand and hoping it will go away, which is kind of true but I've kind of reached that acceptance now of what will be, will be.

[TBG1]

Hey KTF,


If you could "bottle" that mind-set & sell it, you'd be a rich man before too long!


Having said that, there's going to come a time - when no information is being offered - when you'll be desperate for some. I would certainly ask "Who's toxicology report" ... If it's your accuser's, then your Police Force are actually doing something that they SHOULD be doing but normally don't....collecting information/evidence that may actually discredit the accuser!

You will find that that is as common as rocking horse s... round here.


Best Wishes,


TBG1

[KeepTheFaith]

hmmm, interesting, maybe I'll start a business on the side then

Well, they did not perform any tests on me so it must be her toxicology tests that I'm assuming were taken at the same time the other tests were performed. However, as you have rightly stated I'm not sure of the value of these If taken more that 24 hours (I'm assuming again) after the incident?

But going back to the mind-set thing, in all seriousness what's really helped me is listening to great speakers such as Alan Watts and Ekort Tolle to put things into perspective and not get too involved with mental rumination, they might not be everyone's cup of tea but has definitely helped me.

I personally think that if you are thinking about things that have practical value and can help you then great, but if you're just going over the same mental images and negative self talk, or simply thinking about the endless terrible possible outcomes then that must be stopped as it's not only completely pointless but it is actually what is making you miserable and it's something you have control over.

There is something Alan Watts said which really resonated with me, it was something like "nothing can ever really be that bad in the now" which is completely true, it's the endlessly self inflicted thoughts of the "what if's" that really do the damage.

Sorry to get all philosophical there, I get a bit carried away haha

P.S. I do see the irony of this in context to this thread...so yeah, maybe I'm also a bit hypocritical haha