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  • Family hatred

    Hi there my partner and I have three kids together and were a happy family,
    He's not talking to his side of the family due to his bio father being in contact with them (he has recently come from jail because he murdered someone and raped people)
    Out of hatred for what he has done my partner avoids him like the plague.
    On the 6th of January this year 2016 we had a knock at the door and he was taken into our kitchen because his cousin had claimed he was raped from the age 5 till he was 14 by my partner.
    This would've been taking place years ago (the apparent "victim" is now 21)
    That same night the victims mother had rang me explaining that she doesn't know the details just that he was being continuously raped under her care without her knowing.
    Clearly I stated I know it's not true.
    The victims mother then rang my partners mother and explained to her what she knows and that someone else she told has said there are others.
    This person is a mutual friend with a woman who has been shouting abuse at my partner in the street and generally hates him.
    He got bailed at my mothers address and we were left from there.
    On the 8th I had social workers come over and I signed an agreement to not let my partner be alone with the kids till this is over or whatever, the worker said she doesn't believe this case as it's far fetched.
    Now I know to some extent of what has been claimed and I can safely say it's horrendous and completely strange.
    According to the "victim" it was over 200 accounts of rape most of it with objects?
    Also it was mainly when they were in the house with the mother present within the home.
    The bail conditions are to not talk to witnesses but they are only witnesses to the "victim" trying to kill him self a few years back whilst he was on legal highs as well as illegal.
    My partner answers bail today but solicitors have told him it's going to be pending investigation still.
    On the 23rd of Feb my partner had the angry woman (the one I mentioned beforehand) shouting rapist and peado at him in town.
    I didn't report this as I wasn't there and my partner is too distressed to be ringing round everyone.
    I don't know what I'm meant to do as a partner and I just want anyone's advice on how to maybe speed things along?
    Am I allowed to do anything?
    I'm just so frustrated and he's losing his lively personality more and more everyday.
    Is it likely it's going to be over soon?
    I can't talk to anyone about it as I don't want this to get messed up or prolonged.
    I'm so angry and disappointed in the family for this
    Last edited by Alexness9; 2 March 2016, 11:52 AM.

  • #2
    Are you allowed to do anything? ... Not really. Aside from providing support the investigation is largely out of your control and anything which could interfere with the investigation is risky to you.

    I can understand your concerns about your partner being down about this, it's likely to have a massive impact on his life as these are quite serious allegations.

    You also ask if it is likely to be over soon. If I understand correctly he was arrested in Jan. It's worth being prepared that this may be a long road. All being well investigations might last a few months but sometimes with historical cases they can drag on for a long time from what we have seen from others on here.

    Was your partner at the time of these accusations at a similar age to the accuser? I just ask because sometimes there are other considerations when the accusation involves children of similar age

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    • #3
      My partner is about two years older than his cousin so he would've been about 7/8 when he apparently started till he was 16/17,
      At his answer to bail they re bailed him till April the 26th.
      Though they had said they have exhausted all the possible routes and are just await for the child councillor ( the victim had been to see them when he was a minor)
      If they have no mention of anything it may be dropped.
      It's hard to see him go through this but I have been regularly taking he kids to see him at my mothers address with adults present as well to not break bail at all.
      I have my fingers crossed but it seems to be a continuous waiting game which is so frustrating,
      I've been reading forums on here since the end of Jan so sadly I know this could go longer,
      I guess I'm just desperate for someone to say "it's gonna be over soon looking at the allegation"
      Through out this its just made me lose faith in humanity and there's so many horrible human beings on the planet,
      I feel for everyone going through this.
      Never thought anyone was capable of such vicious lies
      Last edited by Alexness9; 3 March 2016, 02:51 PM. Reason: Auto correct replaced words

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      • #4
        Hi alexness9

        I am sorry that you are in such a horrible situation when you asked what you could do my thoughts went to things we do our nightmare as been going on since Nov last year and is a never ending nightmare like you as a partner you just want to help like previous posters have said best to stay away from all those thoughts ( I Have them too) you may be having as you are a far better person than them . Everyday we have a one positive thing to have happened or see even something silly like wow the suns shining through sounds daft but a positive thought makes you feel a little better . My head can go around in circles at times and think that if can keep OH spirits up a little ur helps we slaw and go out for at least an hour a day even if it's a stroll or sit in the car with a flask ! . Must be exceptionally tough with kids though and you are being such a support to you Oh just by him seeing his kiddies must lift him . Keep going though we're all here for you.
        I am trying to get better at pisting as am always reading and wish I had replied so another good thing to help self and others .

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