Falsely accused - feeling alone. Please help????

[Charliegirl]

Update

Reported back for bail, no one saw him and just handed him a letter saying he has to report back end of May. In the meantime he his back to work at nights. His boss spoke to the DC and they said yes to him going back to work. Now the FA have moved out the area and got everything paid for I reckon from SS. They now live in a different place. The hatred I have for them doing is shocking. I don't understand why he is on bail yet the suspension for work has been lifted. Help with all your experience.

[YearsOfHell]

Reported back for bail, no one saw him and just handed him a letter saying he has to report back end of May. In the meantime he his back to work at nights. His boss spoke to the DC and they said yes to him going back to work. Now the FA have moved out the area and got everything paid for I reckon from SS. They now live in a different place. The hatred I have for them doing is shocking. I don't understand why he is on bail yet the suspension for work has been lifted. Help with all your experience.

Don't read too much into it.
There's little point second guessing!
I would love to say it means they have nothing and are just busy and want a few more weeks to do the necessary paperwork before NFA, but please don't get your hopes up in case!
Being back at work will do him good. Why was he not working?
Does he work with vulnerable people or children?
Keep going, it's a hell of a ride!!
YoH

[Charliegirl]

Advise

My partner is due to report for bail in 18 days, please, please does anyone have any guidance or information, even experience with Devon Child protection police team. I know this is an FA.

[hello88]

My partner is due to report for bail in 18 days, please, please does anyone have any guidance or information, even experience with Devon Child protection police team. I know this is an FA.

i had involvment from them for the first two weeks, (well i say involvment, 1 visit then myself trying to contact them to get interview and supervised access)

is there anything specific you're concerned about with devon child protection police team??

[Charliegirl]

Police

It is just that the OIC plus others have been so kind to us and in a way I think they know the minor is lying, as we are a genuine family who just get on with day to day things. Not sure if it is just tactics? The OIC is always saying "protect yourself" .

[Rights Fighter]

There are a few decent coppers out there. Maybe you are lucky enough to have one of them!

[Charliegirl]

Help

Hi,

My OH has to report for bail again tomorrow, we are now in the 10 month. It is destroying me and us as a family. It has broken up my mothers marriage due to the lies of the FA, as this is not blood family only step related. It has all been done def over jealousy. I just wish the police could see the lies they are telling. What happens if you want get it sorted one and for all, is this possible to put this forward to the police, by explaining it is destroying the young babies, our life is on hold while they are getting on with life. I don't know how much more I can take or if I have the strength. Please please advice

[wakingnightmare]

Oh Sweetheart I feel for you, take a breath and look at how far you've got. You've done 10 months of hell and you're still here. You can get through this and you will, the strength is there. At the beginning you wouldn't believe you'd last this long and you have so take strength from that.

I don't think there's any point telling the Police about the emotional costs it's having as I doubt they care. If they do care they can't actually speed the case up anyway it seems once you're in the system all you can do is wait for a decision.

Do you know if the case has been sent to CPS, perhaps you could ask.

Have you spoken to your GP, you could ask for counselling to help you cope. Practically do you have support with the children. I'm not sure if your OH is able to live with you still.

This bad day (s) will pass and you'll be strong again

[YearsOfHell]

It's an ongoing nightmare that's for sure!
The repercussions for the family is so unfair.
My parents are feeling the effects too and I hate that they're being penalised for something that never happened.
The only thing you can do is survive.
I've tried to keep smiling but it's not that easy.
There are good things happening in your lives but they may be crowded out by this huge stress.
Try and find the good, I promise it's there somewhere!
No one in the justice system cares if you're suffering,
It's their job - that's it.
Emotional matters don't count at all.
Unfortunately we're on our own.
Battle on.
You can survive this!
Hope all goes well today!
We're with you in spirit!
Hang in there
YoH

[Lilyput]

Aw hun if you can do ten months in this hellish limbo you can do anything <3 keep strong some days you will feel like you can't go on but the next good day is around the corner. Focus on your goals and dreams for when this is all over. Remember people are rarely on bail more than a year so you are most likely nearly at the end of this hell.

[Charliegirl]

Update

Went this morning to report in for bail, they weren't even expecting my OH so had to ring the DC, who in turn handed a piece of paper to a PC who handed it over to us. Low and behold the story has changed, before it was definite now it is attempt.On the bail paper it said an alleged allegation. Rebailed for another two months, as it went to CPS, CPS sent it back to the DC, now the DC and team have an appointment with CPS Sometime in June. Won't tell us when. I asked if we could speak to the DC but low and behold she was tied up. I just fell apart at the station and cried. I said there is no compassion as the others are allowed to get on with their live and we can't, the PC replied this is a good team and they do care. Will be nearly 12 months. He had to leave the home and has never been allowed to return. We did appeal the bail but it got refused. The police are not giving up, still on pre charge. Is there anything that anybody can offer advice on, why it is taking so long, anything we could do etc thank you. We are so low x

[wakingnightmare]

I know it's not what you wanted to happen but try to be positive.

There is a huge difference between actual and attempted. How would she get the two confused? How credible does it make her appear?

The wheels turn very slowly, hang in there.

[YearsOfHell]

Sounds like the case is getting weaker.
Whatever they decide, trust your OH innocence.
Unfortunately you have to wait.
There's no hurry it along.
The police and CPS are just doing their jobs so they won't hurry it on on companionate grounds.
It'll take as long as it takes.
It's so unfair that the allegation has split the family up.
You never get that time back and that makes me so angry.
There's no compensation for those who have lost months of their family life because of the long drawn out processes!
Have a vent but then regain control.
Don't let it spiral.
Things will be ok in the future, and make time together now really count.
We were told another 2 months bail to "finish off the investigation" then the morning of the bail date we got told NFA.
Keep strong.
It will all be done and dusted one day.
YoH

[Lilyput]

I'm really sorry you have an even longer wait. Just keep going in any way you can. Find as many distractions as you can, be around close friends and family. It does sounds like they have much of a case to go on and I hope it's all resolved soon for you

[Charliegirl]

Re bail

She has changed her story and the FA dad telephoned the step dad last night, funny hey on the day of the bail. It has gone from definite full to now attempt/alleged, big difference in words. I just hope every day that the FA will admit it is all lies. It is back with CPS and the meeting is soon, just think what the hell is going on. Surely there are intelligent people in CPS who can put 2 and 2 together to make 4, rather than 2 X 2 to make 5. It is all just getting messy and ridiculous. Why can these people not see through the FA lies.