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  • My Story.

    Hello.

    Stumbled across this forum one night at 4am, struggling to sleep as I have been over the past two weeks.

    Two weeks ago, I went out with a friend after work and ended up having a few drinks and venturing into the town centre, where i coincidentally bumped into my ex-partner. We've been split up some two years and have a daughter together; our relationship - up until this point - I would describe as amicable for the sake of our child. We had both been drinking and left a bar together on closing, as it made financial sense we decided to share a taxi together as we live in the same direction. Whilst in the taxi, we began kissing each other and she invited me into her house where we went up to the bedroom and had consensual vaginal intercourse (which in her statement she admits too). After this, we attempted to go to sleep however she asked me to leave a hour later, which I did as I felt we both regretted what had occurred between us.

    The next day I was awoken by three police officers, who arrested me as she has alleged that I have sexually assaulted her. I was placed in a cell of several hours and eventually interviewed; I used the services of the duty solicitor available that weekend. I am currently released on bail (yet to be charged), awaiting further information about this case; my phone has been seized along with my clothing. The allegations that have been made are that I groped her whilst she was asleep and she was awoken by me attempting to have anal intercourse with her. I strenuously deny these claims, and I'm quite distressed by the whole matter. I've always worked within the health-care sector to my job is subject to CRB/DBS clearing. The police took my phone as in the week leading up to this I stupidly had sent text messages to her explaining that I still had feelings for her and wished to have a sexual relationship with her.

    I just feel so down with it all and unsure where to turn. Hoping that the CPS make a decision of NFA then i can continue with my career and forget about this whole thing.

  • #2
    Sorry to be welcoming you, but welcome anyway!

    Hopefully you'll be able to take the edge of the trauma you're going through by running things passed all of us.

    The limbo is arduous but hang in there.
    Unfortunately this may well drag on for a long time so the best advice I can offer is to hope for the best but prepare yourself for the worst!

    This forum is a lifeline for me and an absolute goldmine of information to help you through this.
    Keep posting
    Hang in there!
    YoH

    Comment


    • #3
      It is totally distressing but you are in the right place for support here. The waiting is definitely the worst part, but start remembering everything that happened, make notes, start a timeline, anyone who can speak in your defence.

      I too work in the care sector and when I was charged I went to my line manager and poured out the whole sorry saga. Fortunately my work/ professional record is pretty good so after a brief investigation, no action was ever taken- I wasn't even suspended. I even changed jobs during my bail period. I would say if the worse does happen, be honest

      But hopefully you won't need to be.
      They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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      • #4
        Thank you for your supportive replies.

        As for work, I'm holding off until I am charged before informing anyone. Bail date is set for January, however the OIC said she hoped I'd know before then.

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        • #5
          Sorry you had to find us. Iam going through a similar thing and my bail date is at the end of this month. I know exactly how you feel as I bet it feels so fresh to you. The advice I can give is start some sort of competitive sport it definitely keeps your mind off things even if it's only for a few hours a day. Everything happens for a reason , this is making you a stronger person. Everyone falls. It's about getting back up and pushing on with life.

          Stay strong my friend.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by WronglyAccused View Post
            Thank you for your supportive replies.

            As for work, I'm holding off until I am charged before informing anyone. Bail date is set for January, however the OIC said she hoped I'd know before then.
            Sorry to hear you terrible experience, but I should point My OIC in formed me back in June quite casually that he had hoped a descion would be made way before December.....surprise surprise I'm still waiting and when I spoke to him about this....he said he could no longer help me as he was no longer dealing with my case.

            Keep strong, never give up

            I find exercise and lifting weights... Jogging....running really helps me albeit temporarly relieves stress etc
            Turn the pain into power. ::

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            • #7
              We where told that we should hear September. ... still nothing

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              • #8
                Originally posted by heartbreaking
                We where told that we should hear September. ... still nothing
                Yes the CPS and the Police clearly don't care about keeping innocent people on such a lengthy bail.

                My lawyer informed me he cannot believe my investigation has taken so long because, at the time of my arrest he was also dealing with a "major" arrest, where the someone was arrested for a big drugs haul, around £70k worth there were also 7 computers, 6 mobiles phones, it was a big investigation and as my lawyer said , there were alot of things to consider.....but he was only bail for a couple of months NFA....

                So it does make you wonder what and how the CPS deal with investigations

                Keep strong Heartbroken never give up
                Turn the pain into power. ::

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Arsenal12 View Post
                  Yes the CPS and the Police clearly don't care about keeping innocent people on such a lengthy bail.

                  My lawyer informed me he cannot believe my investigation has taken so long because, at the time of my arrest he was also dealing with a "major" arrest, where the someone was arrested for a big drugs haul, around £70k worth there were also 7 computers, 6 mobiles phones, it was a big investigation and as my lawyer said , there were alot of things to consider.....but he was only bail for a couple of months NFA....

                  So it does make you wonder what and how the CPS deal with investigations

                  Keep strong Heartbroken never give up
                  One of our "friends" is a police officer, and when we asked him about the length of time people are kept waiting, he simply said "If they've done nothing wrong then they can just get on with their lives"!!!!
                  It's not like waiting to go for a dental check up!!
                  For goodness sake!
                  Not so keen on calling him a "friend" now!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by YearsOfHell View Post
                    One of our "friends" is a police officer, and when we asked him about the length of time people are kept waiting, he simply said "If they've done nothing wrong then they can just get on with their lives"!!!!
                    It's not like waiting to go for a dental check up!!
                    For goodness sake!
                    Not so keen on calling him a "friend" now!

                    People who have not gone through something like this will not have a clue how much it affects your day to day life and the toll it takes on your body and mind.

                    It’s easy to say if you are innocent then you can go on as normal because you have nothing to worry about…that’s probably a view I had before this happened to me and it was an ignorant one.

                    You know if it goes the distance then your life is in the hands of a dozen strangers who don’t know you and that is a truly frightening thought and one I really struggled to deal with at the time my case was coming to a head.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by YearsOfHell View Post
                      One of our "friends" is a police officer, and when we asked him about the length of time people are kept waiting, he simply said "If they've done nothing wrong then they can just get on with their lives"!!!!
                      It's not like waiting to go for a dental check up!!
                      For goodness sake!
                      Not so keen on calling him a "friend" now!
                      Wow I'm not sure I'd call that officer a friend..... He obviously does not have any idea what US INNOCENT PEOPLE GO THROUGH...

                      That somes up the Police in a nutshell

                      TELL HIM How can we GET ON WITH OUR LIVES!......jobs lost.....homes lost....no access to children.....image reputation tarnished forever.... That is a very unprofessional and silly thing to say from a "police officer".......utter nonsense!!!
                      Last edited by Arsenal12; 21 October 2015, 09:10 PM.
                      Turn the pain into power. ::

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                      • #12
                        We've lost everything My partner had to leave his job of 9 years. Supervision to see his son. No acsess to my children. Not allowed home.
                        No idea of our future and he's living in a box room of hos parents on a air bed.


                        Yeah life just ticks along lovely he'd accused of historic offences.

                        I miss my old life

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          It's not like waiting to go for a dental check up!!

                          That's a very succinct way of putting it!!! Although I appeared to be getting on with it I was absolutely TERRIFIED of the thought of prison, especially for something I hadn't done.
                          The public protection officer gloated when he told me I was looking at a maximum of 5 years, but they'd settle for 2!!

                          Three hours in a cell left me with PTSD- I wouldn't have coped with 2 years- I just lived in abject fear and misery
                          They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Does anyone have any advice about first child hearing?

                            I have got my first hearing for my contact order soon.....I'm representing myself in court...obviously I'm not new to this forum as many know......I'm a victim of being falsely accused of multiple Rape common assault.....


                            I spoke to a man from cafcass who was almost suggesting he believed the accuser (mother)

                            I said to him I was committed and confident in clearing my name.....and seeing my children

                            He Then said I would still not be allowed to see my children!!!!!!!!!!

                            Even if I was Nfad!!!!!!!!!

                            He said "we judge things on the allegations we have seen"!!!!!!

                            That's just it is said they are only false allegations!!!!!!
                            He then said I have the police report you were charged for Rape!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!!


                            I stopped him RIGHT THERE I have NOT BEEN CHARGED OR CONVICTED OF ANYTHING!!!

                            He then changed his words and said he has evidence of the allegations!!!!!!!!

                            He then said this which I found EXTREMELY SHOCKING!!!......."your wife may of told your kids that you are dead"

                            Can you believe this carcass guy?!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Bearing in mind I have not seen or had any contact with my kids (who are very young 3 and 1) for over 8 months!!!!!!!!

                            He implied I was guilty and would not see my kids


                            I would sincerely appreciate any adivce on this subject......or people going through similar child issues
                            Turn the pain into power. ::

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Just thought I'd post a quick update from my case. My 1st bail date was 3rd January, I recieved an email from the OIC the evening before I was due to attend informing me that a bail extension was granted and I was no longer required to go the police station. Since then Ive recieved no correspondence from the OIC or my solicitor and my 2nd bail date is fast approaching; next week.


                              Fingers crossed for some dancing bananas.

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