Tweet
I know I haven't posted much since my original post and I haven't really replied to other posts too so I do apologise but I suppose I've just tried to bury my head in the sand and get through life as I have had a lot going on in my own life recently too.
Basically, my partner was arrested in April after an ex girlfriend made allegations that he raped her on three occasions - these were actually occasions where they did sleep together consensually however now their relationship has broken down and become irretrievable she's saying they were none consensual.
I'm not sure whether you say he was charged or not - basically he was arrested and interviewed - bailed and that's it. His first bail date was extended by letter as the person in charge of the case 'hadn't had time to review the evidence collated from the seized phones/computers etc ...'
The second bail date came only to be extended by letter again .... and later by letter again. He's due to present for bail at the beginning of November. In the meantime however the police have returned all the electronics they seized to him.
I know these cases drag on but is this normal for it to drag on and on if they have nothing or very little ... does this mean that they have something they're working on ??
In the meantime they have him on unconditional bail - they know his employment (he's self employed and works in a position of trust and lone works with clients the majority of the time) and they've stated they're happy for him to continue with this.
The police made a safeguarding referral to Social Services regarding his son that he has joint contact with (lives with his ex wife - she's not the accuser but the accuser approached her and made full disclosure before going to the police and claimed their son was present when some of accusations occurred) but have told my partner that this is protocol because the claim was he was present in the property when these things happened. The police said they were happy to speak to the social worker and relay that they had no immediate concerns to his sons safety and they were happy contact could occur within relevant social services procedures.
The past few months have been a nightmare but we've just tried to be there for each other and to try and normalise our lives. My partner is so caring and grounded - he's doing an amazing job of coping although I know deep down it must be ripping him apart especially as his ex wife has stopped ALL contact with his son. Our sex life is non existent as he's admitted every time we become intimate the accusations leap into his mind and cripple him emotionally and physically.
He's proceeded with private law proceedings for contact with his son and now has indirect contact which he didn't have - social services are also advising supervised contact but his ex wifes family are refusing and i'm the only one he has - social services don't know we're in a relationship and I know the social worker in a previous capacity. I agreed but it has been decided I shouldn't be dragged into this for personal circumstances I have around my stepson. In the meantime though the social worker dropped a big bombshell that has smashed my head into bits ....
She started with the whole 'do I understand the accusations and has he told you the truth' I told her what I knew and she wrote on her pad .... she then talked sympathetically about getting contact established and said she sympathised as she wants to get them back in contact however "the referral from the police was shocking and its the worst case of domestic violence both her and her team have ever seen".
This has blown my head to pieces ..... I find myself questioning every bit I know .... I went to the solicitors with him and they didn't mention domestic violence .... it was 3 counts of rape. They're now making him sound horrendous and as if he's lied to me.
This woman sold a love story idolising him to a woman's magazine and got paid for it back in march ..... she said nothing horrid about him in that ....
I really can't make any sense out of it .... I believe him, I always have yet that one sentence she said has ripped everything to pieces and I'm really struggling to cope with trying to make sense of it all x
Basically, my partner was arrested in April after an ex girlfriend made allegations that he raped her on three occasions - these were actually occasions where they did sleep together consensually however now their relationship has broken down and become irretrievable she's saying they were none consensual.
I'm not sure whether you say he was charged or not - basically he was arrested and interviewed - bailed and that's it. His first bail date was extended by letter as the person in charge of the case 'hadn't had time to review the evidence collated from the seized phones/computers etc ...'
The second bail date came only to be extended by letter again .... and later by letter again. He's due to present for bail at the beginning of November. In the meantime however the police have returned all the electronics they seized to him.
I know these cases drag on but is this normal for it to drag on and on if they have nothing or very little ... does this mean that they have something they're working on ??
In the meantime they have him on unconditional bail - they know his employment (he's self employed and works in a position of trust and lone works with clients the majority of the time) and they've stated they're happy for him to continue with this.
The police made a safeguarding referral to Social Services regarding his son that he has joint contact with (lives with his ex wife - she's not the accuser but the accuser approached her and made full disclosure before going to the police and claimed their son was present when some of accusations occurred) but have told my partner that this is protocol because the claim was he was present in the property when these things happened. The police said they were happy to speak to the social worker and relay that they had no immediate concerns to his sons safety and they were happy contact could occur within relevant social services procedures.
The past few months have been a nightmare but we've just tried to be there for each other and to try and normalise our lives. My partner is so caring and grounded - he's doing an amazing job of coping although I know deep down it must be ripping him apart especially as his ex wife has stopped ALL contact with his son. Our sex life is non existent as he's admitted every time we become intimate the accusations leap into his mind and cripple him emotionally and physically.
He's proceeded with private law proceedings for contact with his son and now has indirect contact which he didn't have - social services are also advising supervised contact but his ex wifes family are refusing and i'm the only one he has - social services don't know we're in a relationship and I know the social worker in a previous capacity. I agreed but it has been decided I shouldn't be dragged into this for personal circumstances I have around my stepson. In the meantime though the social worker dropped a big bombshell that has smashed my head into bits ....
She started with the whole 'do I understand the accusations and has he told you the truth' I told her what I knew and she wrote on her pad .... she then talked sympathetically about getting contact established and said she sympathised as she wants to get them back in contact however "the referral from the police was shocking and its the worst case of domestic violence both her and her team have ever seen".
This has blown my head to pieces ..... I find myself questioning every bit I know .... I went to the solicitors with him and they didn't mention domestic violence .... it was 3 counts of rape. They're now making him sound horrendous and as if he's lied to me.
This woman sold a love story idolising him to a woman's magazine and got paid for it back in march ..... she said nothing horrid about him in that ....
I really can't make any sense out of it .... I believe him, I always have yet that one sentence she said has ripped everything to pieces and I'm really struggling to cope with trying to make sense of it all x
Comment