Hello there im new

[Miss89]

Hi im new here my partner has been convicted as his ex accused him after he left her hes got a 13 year sentence and its hell on earth hes not coping well at all hes missing me and my girls we miss him unbelievably my ex my daughters dad has phoned social services and told them hes been convinced social services have now told me i have to end the relationship or they will take my kids off me my head is all over the place i want to help and support him but i cant lose my kids he understands that i cant see him as my kids always come first but its so hard when we've both had a **** life with horrible exs and now have finally found our soul mate get torn away from each other and put through this hell. I have also been told by a health professional they think i have bipolar to top it all off i know i have really bad depression and anxiety but they think its bipolar cos of my moods. Should I try and write to him to help and support him
Should i cut all contact this is hell on earth iv got everyone telling me they understand how i feel and what im going through and they dont i feel like screaming. I hate my partners ex for what she has done how can someone accuse anyone of rape and not feel guilty my partner is in hell he is in so much emotional turmoil he can't believe he's been convicted that people actually believe he'd do something like that there was no evidence just her say so and i cant believe the jury believed her she lied twoce under oath and got caught out how can they seriously believe her...!!!

[Rights Fighter]

You could say that nothing in your partner's behaviour so far suggests that he is a child abuser, but should further evidence come to light, you are prepared to review your position. Make it clear that your children come first.

Undertake an agreement with SS that your partner will not speak with your children on the phone or write to them. This means that your children cannot answer the phone at certain times when your partner could ring you.

They may ask you to undertake risk assessment courses aka spot a paedo at 10 paces. Agree to do that too, they can be very helpful anyway.

Agree to work with SS. Do not protest his innocence as they will say you have been groomed.

At the end of the day your children MUST come first. SS deal with families who have been totally taken in by the guilty, and because of that they assume that everyone is in the same situation.

[Miss89]

Hi ss have said it doesn't matter that its nothing to do with children that hes been locked up hes on sex offenders register and thats all that counts iv went in and told him i can't see him or right and told him what they have said he understands that my kids come first but its so frustrating cos my daughters dads mother is a ex police and has connections in ss and they are pressurising me so much which is having a really bad effect on my mental health. Iv told them i ended the relationship and will no longer have contact which i havent as my kids always come first but nothing i do seems to be good enough for ss they are now telling me i dont care about my kids and dont look after them cos my nephew bit my youngest whilst playing hes just turned one and got repremanded from his mam and i comforted my daughter but ss are saying i dont look after them because of this i feel that im being persecuted because i have done everything that they have asked and still they say its not good enough they are making me doubt myself i have always put my kids first always i left my eldest daughters dad because he was mentally unstable and wasnt good for my daughter but they said i must have contributed to him killing himself im sure thats unprofessional and not needed it caused me great distress to hear them say this i hadnt seen him in four years when he took his life so wasnt my fault like ss said. My heads a mess because of them

[AmandaF]

Hello Miss 89- sorry you had to find us. I am shocked by your story. The attitude of the social workers is out of order!!
I'm in a similar position- my OH was wrongly convicted earlier this year, but "luckily" he only got 2 years.

We have custody of my grandson who's now 12 . I have never been told to end our relationship and whilst on bail we were allowed supervised contact. We did everything "by the book" however I do think some of them have their own agenda.

I have been accused of being "in denial" but have tried to put my case to the SS as well as I could. I have explained my reasons for supporting him in that I picked apart the whole 10 years of our relationship, briefly I analyzed everything we had ever done together, bearing in mind I had a child to safeguard, and could find nothing. I was also present throughout the whole of the trial and that was the final episode that totally convinced me of his innocence.

As RF says, you have to go along with what they say, although I refused courses. In our case it was the SS who could not spot a paedophile at 10 paces, but that's another story.

I would suggest, as a professional myself in care, that they are acting in a very unprofessional manner. I have no idea the best course of action as they are easily antagonised!!

If you haven't been to your GP already it may be helpful to have a chat.

[Megane2015]

Hi

I can empathise with everything you are going through my husband was sentenced to 13 years too and the last 6 months have been hell. We have been married for 15 years and I'm lost without him. Our 2 boys are beside themselves. If you want to pm me or talk let me know. My husband has just been moved closer which is going to make life a bit easier as I was having to travel at least 4 hours each way before. I'm am fighting for him as I know he is totally innocent there was no evidence just her word against his. Sorry to but into this thread but it hits a chord. I'm here if you need to talk.