Accused of Rape (Oral)

[FARJ]

Hello everyone,

I still cannot believe I have found myself here but I've discovered over the last few days that there are, sadly, many more of you out there - like myself - than I originally anticipated.

I was accused of Rape (Oral), recently and was taken to the nearby Police station and was given the choice: Request Legal Aid OR answer any questions the police had for me on my own. Considering the seriousness of the allegation, I sought Legal Aid and my solicitor explained what was happening.

My accuser is someone who has already informed the police that we had consensual sex multiple times yet on the last ocassion I allegedly raped her orally even though the actual act of sex was consensual. Apart from a message on a social networking site stating that she'd had enough of the arrangement to 'meet up and have sex occasionally' and she wanted no further contact from me - I haven't heard from her since.

My solicitor also explained that my accuser waited a number of weeks before she made the complaint (which I don't understand and I have no idea what to think).

The whole thing makes me sick and I haven't had a thing to eat nor have I slept a wink since I was released that afternoon. I experienced a bit of a delayed reaction over the last few days and I'm paranoid, s*** scared and I have no idea what to do. I returned to work on Monday but the sheer thought of the police turning up and causing a scene is enough to make me feel suicidal. A big part of me wants to quit and remain isolated at home for the foreseeable future.

The Police have already started contacting previous partners and I'm paranoid they'll try to coerce someone into saying something they don't mean.

I've met women from social networking sites before and I've never experienced anything like this. I don't understand why my accuser has done this to me and I live in constant fear of what my and my family' future holds.

I feel like my life has been ripped apart and whilst I have nothing to fear, I'm afraid like I say that the authorities will do everything in their power to convince people I've slept with that I am a monster and I should be put away.

If anyone has any advice or constructive thoughts on what might probably happen over the coming days/ weeks or months and what I should do with myself in the meantime then please do so. Thank you.

[YearsOfHell]

Hello everyone,

I still cannot believe I have found myself here but I've discovered over the last few days that there are, sadly, many more of you out there - like myself - than I originally anticipated.

I was accused of Rape (Oral), recently and was taken to the nearby Police station and was given the choice: Request Legal Aid OR answer any questions the police had for me on my own. Considering the seriousness of the allegation, I sought Legal Aid and my solicitor explained what was happening.

My accuser is someone who has already informed the police that we had consensual sex multiple times yet on the last ocassion I allegedly raped her orally even though the actual act of sex was consensual. Apart from a message on a social networking site stating that she'd had enough of the arrangement to 'meet up and have sex occasionally' and she wanted no further contact from me - I haven't heard from her since.

My solicitor also explained that my accuser waited a number of weeks before she made the complaint (which I don't understand and I have no idea what to think).

The whole thing makes me sick and I haven't had a thing to eat nor have I slept a wink since I was released that afternoon. I experienced a bit of a delayed reaction over the last few days and I'm paranoid, s*** scared and I have no idea what to do. I returned to work on Monday but the sheer thought of the police turning up and causing a scene is enough to make me feel suicidal. A big part of me wants to quit and remain isolated at home for the foreseeable future.

The Police have already started contacting previous partners and I'm paranoid they'll try to coerce someone into saying something they don't mean.

I've met women from social networking sites before and I've never experienced anything like this. I don't understand why my accuser has done this to me and I live in constant fear of what my and my family' future holds.

I feel like my life has been ripped apart and whilst I have nothing to fear, I'm afraid like I say that the authorities will do everything in their power to convince people I've slept with that I am a monster and I should be put away.

If anyone has any advice or constructive thoughts on what might probably happen over the coming days/ weeks or months and what I should do with myself in the meantime then please do so. Thank you.

Hi
Welcome to the forum, but sorry you've had to join us in these circumstances.
Your story is so similar to my husbands and it's happening all too often.
You're probably feeling a whole lot of different emotions right now.
It's very very difficult to stay calm in these circumstances, but try not to panic.
It's early days and I can honestly say it does get easier as you recover from the initial shock and disbelief! Life seems to end but you really do get used to the new "normal".
But this takes time and you need to stay strong.
Don't read too many horror stories as it doesn't help with your emotional state, but stay positive. You're innocent and you must continue to believe in yourself.
Hang in there!

[AmandaF]

Sorry you're in a situation where you had to find us. All the feelings and emotions you are experiencing are a common theme to all of us in one way or another. DON'T shut yourself away- it really doesn't help, merely adds to your isolation and paranoia. Have you talked to anyone you can trust? Even a GP- they aren't there to judge. Unfortunately in this current post- Saville, post- Rotherham paranoid state the police are duty bound to investigate . Hang in there- you are in the right place for support

[Casehardened]

Hi & welcome to the forum,

Have a look at this link as it may answer some of your questions:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[FARJ]

Sorry you're in a situation where you had to find us. All the feelings and emotions you are experiencing are a common theme to all of us in one way or another. DON'T shut yourself away- it really doesn't help, merely adds to your isolation and paranoia. Have you talked to anyone you can trust? Even a GP- they aren't there to judge. Unfortunately in this current post- Saville, post- Rotherham paranoid state the police are duty bound to investigate . Hang in there- you are in the right place for support

Thank you Amanda.

[VincentV35]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Never good to see new faces but at least you found the forum early. It is lucky that you chose to seek legal aid on first contact, many of us (myself included) didn't because we were so assured in our innocence.

Don't shut yourself in, it will destroy you. It sucks but the shock will pass and you will settle into a day to day existence trying to keep it all together while you hang in limbo waiting to see what happens.

Best of luck and you are in the right place for support