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  • Yet another break down from my partner.

    He's like a completely different person from the man I knew 7 months ago.

    He's isolated and frightened. It's almost been 4 weeks since the cps wanted more info for the second time.

    We pray for a family Christmas

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    • Keep going stay atrong

      Originally posted by heartbreaking View Post
      Yet another break down from my partner.

      He's like a completely different person from the man I knew 7 months ago.

      He's isolated and frightened. It's almost been 4 weeks since the cps wanted more info for the second time.

      We pray for a family Christmas
      Hi have read your thread. you are doing amazing to still be going. Sorry to hear your partner has had another breakdown but you can get through this. I know this because we did. It is the awful limbo you are in thats so hard to bear. I can feel your pain, OH recently got a NG unanimous verdict following nearly 2 years of limbo land. Hoping you will get an NFA soon, it was about 8 months of waiting that he got the dreaded charge by post. That was a dire day but also the start of the real fight. When you get paperwork and see it in black and white you can build your defence. So,please dont lose heart. Take it one day at a time and deal with as it happens. Dont Keep,second guessing hard as it is. You cant make it happen any quicker than it will be. CPS are notoriously slow at dealing with these false allegations especially historic matters.
      You will get your life back, I and OH have gone through all the same desperate feelings as you it will be over, pray for an NFA for you but whatever happens you will get through it. We are getting our life back now youncant let the liar win. Sending positivity to you bothxxx

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      • Heartbreaking- haven't seen you post for a while.
        How's things?
        They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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        • Bad news

          Originally posted by AmandaF View Post
          Heartbreaking- haven't seen you post for a while.
          How's things?
          AmandaF

          Unfortunately, her partner is going to be charged.

          She's not in a good place at the moment but will post when she's better.
          He is seeing a solicitor today so hopefully on the right track to the right end result!

          I'll let her know that she's been missed, thanks.

          YoH

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          • I'm so sorry to hear that- please send virtual hugs
            They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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            • Send my love she must be devastated
              Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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              • Originally posted by YearsOfHell View Post
                AmandaF

                Unfortunately, her partner is going to be charged.

                She's not in a good place at the moment but will post when she's better.
                He is seeing a solicitor today so hopefully on the right track to the right end result!

                I'll let her know that she's been missed, thanks.

                YoH
                Terrible news... know exactly what she is going through unfortunately. I have lost faith in the justice system. I thought the CPS would need concrete evidence before charging - but, it seems they believe lies rather than seek the truth. I haven't cried at all since my brother's arrest back in September, I'm keeping strong for him...I want to save my tears for when he is found not guilty.... (magistrate's court in January 2016, Crown Court in May-June 2016 ) x

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                • This is really awful- some of her posts were just that- heartbreaking.

                  No, Cazzle- they never look for evidence, usually there isn't any except the word of one against another and if there were to be any evidence to help the defence it's dismissed
                  They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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                  • He's going to be charged on 15 accounts on the sisters.

                    We unfortunately parted a few weeks ago but I plan on helping anyway I can

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                    • Hello everyone on the 23rd of December the letter came with the charges on.

                      He goes next week to court for the official charging and he should get the paper work.

                      He us mentally much better than me. He had a spell in hospital and it seems to have put his head back on.

                      There are 14 charges in total and it's an absolute disgrace this is even allowed to happen.

                      His ex is preparing their son who now thinks his daddy is dying and is going to leave him. He's developed a stutter so bad he can't string a sentence together and when the see each other he does nothing but cling to his Daddy.

                      Life for me is a consistent struggle and I pine for our old life. Last Christmas was the things made in dreams .... This year I wanted it over before it started .

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                      • Sorry to hear this- feel so sorry for you all- and that poor child.

                        Good for you to still support him although it seems at some cost to yourself.
                        Thoughts with you
                        They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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                        • I'm really sorry you're feeling as you do. What support do you have for yourself? I sometimes feel being the supportive one is a huge burden. You try to be positive and encouraging but that feels very inadequate. when Ex talks of being doomed (not charged yet, bail next week) and I respond 10 people need to be convinced of his guilt I feel inside my words are hollow & who's reassuring me. Then I feel bad as after all he's the one who's actually facing the allegations and I could walk away completely. I know you're relationship isn't what it was which is incredibly sad, all any of us can do is hope that time provides the right answers.

                          Basically what I'm saying is you must look after yourself first in order to be able to support your children, your Ex Partner and your wider family. Talk to your GP/trusted friend/counsellor

                          I can't think about what this is doing to his son without feeling myself getting angry. Does any FA ever think about the real emotional cost their allegations have on the lives of those they accuse and the people who love them. I know whatever happens in our case our lives are changed irreversibly.

                          I'm sending lots of hugs and strength. Go one day at a time and trust
                          WN x

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                          • Charged

                            Hi

                            So sorry to hear of charge. Can totally empathise with how you must be feeling. I think that was one of the worst days of OH whole experience. Same scenario, the charge letter just dropped through the letter box with simalar amount of charges, historic allegation. To say we were both devestated is an understatement. magistrates was only a few minutes in court whilst charges read out. Highly uncomfortable as neither of us ever been in court or any sort of trouble before. Once we got over initial shock of this is really going forward OH and me began fight back. Solicitor was already in Place so,was at magistrates hearing and was very supportive as was barrister. Prosecution pack arrived after this and this is when you get the details of FA. FA statements, transcript any witness statements etc, and your partner will hopefully be able to dissect it. This is where OH started a timeline and with help,of solicitor built his defence and obtained defence evidence which eventually at Crown court the following year led to a Unanimous NG Verdict. I wont say its not tough and actually unbearable at times, both suffered mentally physically and financially. Still cant beleive it happened But you and he can get through this. It is at court that the liar was exposed and dont forget until she is cross examined by barrister no one has ever questioned her lies. It is imperative that he does everything he can to be ready for Crown Court. He must go through the papers with a fine toothcomb to find any discrepancy and lie. It is amazing what evidence you can get which may help. Hope he has a good solicitor and barrister in place as this was crucial. Sending you positive vibes and keep strong. Dont let the FA and cohorts win, happy to discuss if you want to PM. Xx

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                            • Thank you.
                              I've pm you.

                              No I don't have any support with this. I will be okay. I will deal with it and get through it.

                              We are no longer together but one day I hope we will be when this is over.

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                              • Do try to find someone to talk with. This is a huge burden to bear alone.

                                I hope so too. Perhaps with time and space you'll both be able to think more clearly.

                                I'm sure your ongoing support and love is appreciated

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